Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[Red_Spy]

I tell him the government kidnapped me.

 

[Terrance888]

I give English Crusader a hug. Not a bear hug *hinthint*, just a nice, "thank you! that place, what its called, heaven, is horrible after Roll to Dodge III!", hug.

 

[hoplitejoe]

I marry my rhino GF under the values of Marx!

 

[Dhoomstriker]

I use my engineering ability to calculate the perfect sizes of duct tape strips to use, some strips of duct tape, and my medical ability to apply the duct tape to both my own wounds and to the wounds of any government forces that will swear a blood oath of allegiance to hendo.

 

[Skwink]

We go on a honeymoon to Mumbai.

 

[Verarde]

I spray Vince in the eyes with Oxiclean.

 

[CivCube]

Well how about that. Now that all my nearby enemies have joined me, I grow the village into a city.

 

[hendo]

OOC: I assume this means I'm the rebel leader now?

I pick up some weapons and ammo lying around from the fallen, may as well stock up.

 

[EnglishCrusader]

I got a 19, surely I should be able to control him?

Oh well. Using Terrance's money, I buy body armour for both him and mythmonster.

 

[Abaddon]

Using my endurance, I repeatedly mêlée attack the handcuffs with my Big stick.

 

[landlubber]

I turn all of them into werehyenas by biting them so they won't concern themselves with such petty questions.

 

[GenMarshall]

I interact with the group I've spotted.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I tell him the government kidnapped me.

19 (16): And he buys it. Your salary is reinstated.

I give English Crusader a hug. Not a bear hug *hinthint*, just a nice, "thank you! that place, what its called, heaven, is horrible after Roll to Dodge III!", hug.

10: "Don't wreck the suit."

I marry my rhino GF under the values of Marx!

4 (6): It's a lacklustre ceremony with some jerkass repeatedly quoting Nineteen Eighty-Four's "duty to the party" shtick; not exactly a climate of romance.

I use my engineering ability to calculate the perfect sizes of duct tape strips to use, some strips of duct tape, and my medical ability to apply the duct tape to both my own wounds and to the wounds of any government forces that will swear a blood oath of allegiance to hendo.

4 (9): You manage to stop your bleeding. The government troops may have broken, but they have not surrendered.
ROLL TO DODGE!
12: You hit the dirt.

We go on a honeymoon to Mumbai.

12 (11): You leave the ravages of Mexico behind you.

I spray Vince in the eyes with Oxiclean.

15 (18): And he trips over a garbage can for 20 damage!

Well how about that. Now that all my nearby enemies have joined me, I grow the village into a city.

4: A large town at best.

I pick up some weapons and ammo lying around from the fallen, may as well stock up.

15 (16): You run around collecting rifles, a machine gun or two, and some hand grenades, all while dodging the fire.

I got a 19, surely I should be able to control him?

Oh well. Using Terrance's money, I buy body armour for both him and mythmonster.

(But, see, now you have twice the potential!)

7: Out of stock.

Using my endurance, I repeatedly mêlée attack the handcuffs with my Big stick.

2 (6): Drat! You can't manage the right angle! You only bash yourself for 8 damage.

I turn all of them into werehyenas by biting them so they won't concern themselves with such petty questions.

3 (4): You only injure them. One tries to slap some sense back into you, delivering 14 damage in the process.

I interact with the group I've spotted.

11: You grab a section of rope and start pulling.

 

[Red_Spy]

I ask the rebel leader what would it take to make peace with the government.

 

[Terrance888]

I regain full sanity as I reorient with my surroundings.

 

[hoplitejoe]

Honeymoon time!

 

[landlubber]

I hire an operative to pacify my increasingly resistant populace.
(by this, I do not mean kill. just get them under control )

 

[Dhoomstriker]

Attlee rationally and logically explains how terrible it is to work for the government as he calmly yet deliberately slashes his listeners into submission.

 

[EnglishCrusader]

Alright, I ask if they have anything else in stock.

 

[CivCube]

I offer tax cuts to whoever makes more than two babies.