Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[Dhoomstriker]

Attlee roars a logical lion-speach, emboldening the lions to execute a courageous response to the falling of their noble comrades such that the lions encircle the surviving members of the government brigade and use their teeth and claws to maul the gubment forces to pieces, sapping the wills of the government forces to continue the fight.

 

[CivCube]

I use my village's newfound technological prowess to create the World's Greatest Stash.

 

[Skwink]

I wonder to a occupied house.

 

[Abaddon]

The officer was mistaken. I endure a few more days in jail then my infamy works in my favor as I mêlée my way out collecting my stuff along the way!


(MY GOD, how many fail rolls in a row!)

 

[EnglishCrusader]

I rest even more to heal my pulled muscle.

 

[landlubber]

We develop a battle plan for conquering the world. (Can taking over the world be my win quest?)

 

[hoplitejoe]

I do commie stuff

 

[hendo]

I do a celebratory dance.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I HAVE A VALID EXCUSE THIS TIME!

I was sick.

I find some food.

4 (1): The food is you.
ROLL TO DODGE!
3 (1): You're savaged by the Man-Eating Rabbit for 18 damage, leading to bleeding worth 4 damage per turn.

I head the other way, to the north.

16: You spy a column of men dragging a tall ship across the savanna.

Using the most massive diamond my ghost can find, I attempt to resurrect myself.

4: Ectoplasmic entity is trying to steal the Koh-i-Noor?! Who ya gonna call?
ROLL TO DODGE!
4: You're Ghostbusted.

Attlee roars a logical lion-speach, emboldening the lions to execute a courageous response to the falling of their noble comrades such that the lions encircle the surviving members of the government brigade and use their teeth and claws to maul the gubment forces to pieces, sapping the wills of the government forces to continue the fight.

8 (10): They're emboldened enough to hold the line, but it's tense.

I use my village's newfound technological prowess to create the World's Greatest Stash.

11: The improved quality of your wares ups your science production by 3 points.

I wonder to a occupied house.

18: You and your bodyguards stagger into the home of a certified doctor. Each turn you remain in his care will restore 15 hitpoints.

The officer was mistaken. I endure a few more days in jail then my infamy works in my favor as I mêlée my way out collecting my stuff along the way!


(MY GOD, how many fail rolls in a row!)

(lolCG )

8 (10): "I can... break these... bars!"
"You can't break those bars!"
"EEEEEAAAAAAAGGHH..."
Nothing.

I rest even more to heal my pulled muscle.

10: Still hurts.

We develop a battle plan for conquering the world. (Can taking over the world be my win quest?)

(Roll for it? )

13: Unifying Africa might be the way to start...

I do commie stuff

3 (5):


Link to video.

I do a celebratory dance.

7 (8): It goes unnoticed in the fury of combat.

Red_Spy is deemed AWOL, and his pay is suspended.

Darth Caesar and juKar-C suffer 20 damage for inactivity.
Darth Caesar was rubbed out.
juKar-C kicked the bucket.

 

[Red_Spy]

I run to Mother Russia for help.

 

[Dhoomstriker]

In the lull of the battle, ignoring my own wounds, I use my engineering skills (top-notch duct-tape usage), my knowledge of medicine, some strips of duct tape, and my last 2 metal rods to stabilize the conditions of the two fallen lions--given up for dead but not actually dead--so that they will live to see another day (but won't be strong enough to rejoin this fight), and thereby restoring the courage of and thoroughly emboldening the non-fallen lions due to my willingness to save their colleagues.

 

[landlubber]

Before we enact Operation: African Unity, I make a few preparations.
First, I don one zebra carcass and wear it like a headdress. I become the dictator, albeit a benevolent one.
Second, I give one carcass to a random female and declare her Queen.
Third, I give the last carcass to a random male and declare him my heir. He shall serve on the battlefields next to me.
Thus, my orders this turn are to establish my government like so.

 

[CivCube]

The village grows a substantial amount of the good stuff and sets it on fire. We waft the weed-smoke in the direction of the nearby barracks.

Magic!!!

 

[hendo]

The remaining government forces, demoralised by the death of their leader, are further encouraged into retreating by a torrent of bullets from my newly acquired FAMAS.

 

[hoplitejoe]

To keep everyone moralized I use my strength and infamy to give a speech to my comrades.

 

[EnglishCrusader]

I read something else to take my mind off my pulled muscle, and hopefully forget it was there (like magic!).

 

[Verarde]

My ghost takes over a new body.

 

[Abaddon]

I pull and pull at the bars with my endurance until they fall free and I escape, picking up my belongings as I do so.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I run to Mother Russia for help.

19 (16): You're extracted by helicopter and rushed to emergency, where you will recover 20 hitpoints each turn you remain in hospital.

In the lull of the battle, ignoring my own wounds, I use my engineering skills (top-notch duct-tape usage), my knowledge of medicine, some strips of duct tape, and my last 2 metal rods to stabilize the conditions of the two fallen lions--given up for dead but not actually dead--so that they will live to see another day (but won't be strong enough to rejoin this fight), and thereby restoring the courage of and thoroughly emboldening the non-fallen lions due to my willingness to save their colleagues.

7 (12): You suffer 6 incidental damage, but you manage to stabilize their condition.

Before we enact Operation: African Unity, I make a few preparations.
First, I don one zebra carcass and wear it like a headdress. I become the dictator, albeit a benevolent one.
Second, I give one carcass to a random female and declare her Queen.
Third, I give the last carcass to a random male and declare him my heir. He shall serve on the battlefields next to me.
Thus, my orders this turn are to establish my government like so.

6: Your random appointments lead to internal conflict, now that the matriarch's authority is questioned.

The village grows a substantial amount of the good stuff and sets it on fire. We waft the weed-smoke in the direction of the nearby barracks.

Magic!!!

15: The surrounding militias become pacified in the process.

The remaining government forces, demoralised by the death of their leader, are further encouraged into retreating by a torrent of bullets from my newly acquired FAMAS.

2 (5): You let loose a wild hailstorm that is... less than effective.
ROLL TO DODGE!
9 (10): You sustain 8 damage.

To keep everyone moralized I use my strength and infamy to give a speech to my comrades.

16 (20): Everyone's rejuvenated for another eight turns.

I read something else to take my mind off my pulled muscle, and hopefully forget it was there (like magic!).

20: You read over the past rounds, and in the process concoct an ingenious method of summoning past characters, NPC or otherwise, to do your bidding!

My ghost takes over a new body.

20: HI, BILLY MAYS HERE!

I pull and pull at the bars with my endurance until they fall free and I escape, picking up my belongings as I do so.

8 (11): You finally, finally break free of containment.

 

[Red_Spy]

As I am being healed, I think of what I can do to right the wrongs I have made.