Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[hoplitejoe]

I capture some of the forces then ask them politely where Horace, Master of Bmfpqrtz is.

 

[landlubber]

We wait until night.

 

[Verarde]

I kill the Hellcat from the inside.

 

[Terrance888]

Bursting out of the tunnel and killing the Police chief, I ask the survivors to take me to their leader.

 

[Skwink]

I get down and kiss him.

 

[Dhoomstriker]

Charging through the still-open teleporter, Attlee leads the pack of lions in a crafty yet vicious assault on the invading 'Mericuhn forces.

 

[GenMarshall]

Using my infiltration ability, I continue to pretend to be paralyzed as I am escorted to the office of the Leader of America's National Security

 

[Boundless]

I am randomly hit by a bolt of lightning.. an my heart starts again!

 

[Darth Caesar]

RNG Y U HATE ME?!

 

[MoreEpicThanYou]

I use my Epic Powers of Epicness to add a Flux Capacitor into the DeLorean.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I study on how to be more diplomatic.

5: All you find are mountains of discredited realpolitik strategies.

I capture some of the forces then ask them politely where Horace, Master of Bmfpqrtz is.

1 (2): Apparently you're wanted dead or alive.
ROLL TO DODGE!
4 (6): You take another salvo for 15 damage.

We wait until night.

7: You wait. Patiently.

I kill the Hellcat from the inside.

16: You inflict a solid 17 damage, causing ulceration that drains a steady 3 hitpoints per turn.

Bursting out of the tunnel and killing the Police chief, I ask the survivors to take me to their leader.

10: You burst into... the middle of nowhere.

I get down and kiss him.

12: Bonding!!

Charging through the still-open teleporter, Attlee leads the pack of lions in a crafty yet vicious assault on the invading 'Mericuhn forces.

9 (11): Reinforcements have arrived! Can they TURN THE TIDE??

Using my infiltration ability, I continue to pretend to be paralyzed as I am escorted to the office of the Leader of America's National Security

No need to pretend, as your limp body is tossed into the back of a security van for 7 damage.

I am randomly hit by a bolt of lightning.. an my heart starts again!

Sorry, permadead.

RNG Y U HATE ME?!

14: "Darth Caesar", "Double A", DA/DC... maybe it's an alphabetical thing.

I use my Epic Powers of Epicness to add a Flux Capacitor into the DeLorean.

12: You mount it in a suitably Epic fashion.

EnglishCrusader, hendo and CivCube suffer 30 damage for inactivity.

 

[Red_Spy]

I practice on public speaking.

 

[landlubber]

We wait some more, then.

 

[Dhoomstriker]

Using some nearby cacti, some of my duct tape, my engineering ability (+2), and my knowledge of medicine (+3), I create some regenerative body armour for Attlee and the members of my pride.

 

[Verarde]

I use my sonic attack on the ulceration, causing extra damage.

 

[Terrance888]

Freed of the Tunnel, I seek out my Alien Brethren.

In Mexico. hey, they're not called "Illegal Aliens" for nothin'!

 

[GenMarshall]

Although I may be paralyzed, I am still able to cunningly use my eyes to infiltrate the mind of one of my guards, my knowledge of firearms to have the guard's mind tell him to release his gun's safety and shoot all of his fellow guards followed by shooting himself, and my knowledge of sneak attacks to know precisely when the guard of the other guards will be let down.

(I'm going to have to make a sacrifice to the RNG gods to appease them )

 

[Skwink]

I start a prison riot.

 

[hoplitejoe]

I kill them and look in there entrails for clues.

 

[Darth Caesar]

In soviet russia, RNG gives me good roll!