Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[Zack]

I break up with Megan because she made me feel dirty.

 

[Omega124]

I hand the Credit Card to the "Lost and Found section", getting a $999,999,999,999,999 reward on it. (999 Quadrillion, 999 Trillion, 999 Billion, 999 Million, 999 Thousand, Nine hundred Ninety-nine)

 

[GenMarshall]

I search the body of a dead soldier outside the post office for a set of Power Armor (Enclave Variant)

 

[mythmonster2]

Screw it, I get in my helicopter and blow Anonymoose to hell and back, with a side trip to Albuquerque on the way.

 

[Seon]

I upgrade my aura of brilliance so that anyone looking at me will be struck by awe and unable to move.

 

[choxorn]

The Spartans and I get in my helicopter and fly to DC to stop the rebels.

 

[Anonymoose]

I use my antlers and telekinesis to deflect any projectiles.

 

[Abaddon]

Cast Soul Reave on bestrfcplayer

 

[Earthling]

All right! Also the SuperBowl was great too.

So I'll be eagerly awaiting if I've wrought the appropriate changes...9 turns on that Devil count as I count em. But one thing I always wanted to do:

I get John Elway's autograph.

 

[bestrfcplayer]

I go to France.

 

[tuxedohamm]

I join in the battle involving the national guard, encouraging the Keres to join my side in sowing fear and death during war.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

Sorry for the delay.

I raise morale and we win the battle, and lock up Mr. President.

13: You manage to overpower the National Guard, but the Secret Service has fortified the White House.

I break up with Megan because she made me feel dirty.

9: You worry she will expose less savoury angles of your character.

I hand the Credit Card to the "Lost and Found section", getting a $999,999,999,999,999 reward on it. (999 Quadrillion, 999 Trillion, 999 Billion, 999 Million, 999 Thousand, Nine hundred Ninety-nine)

2: You are attacked by a street bum who thinks the card is yours.
ROLL TO DODGE!
18: Your men swiftly overpower him. The mall authorities are thankful that you have dealt with this recurrent pest, and give you three thousand dollars in cash.

I search the body of a dead soldier outside the post office for a set of Power Armor (Enclave Variant)

7: The neighbourhood is just too respectable for the kind of commotion that would attract dead soldiers.
I swear to God I'm not fudging these rolls.

Screw it, I get in my helicopter and blow Anonymoose to hell and back, with a side trip to Albuquerque on the way.

11: You blow him to Albuquerque.

I upgrade my aura of brilliance so that anyone looking at me will be struck by awe and unable to move.

12: You gain a +1 to your existing defence modifier.

The Spartans and I get in my helicopter and fly to DC to stop the rebels.

7: You overshoot the trajectory and end up in Pittsburgh.

I use my antlers and telekinesis to deflect any projectiles.

13: You are no longer blown to Albuquerque.

Cast Soul Reave on bestrfcplayer

20 (20): You drain half of bestrfcplayer's health.

I get John Elway's autograph.

11: You receive his signature on a napkin.

I go to France.

17: You slip away, battered and bruised, managing to fall off Interpol's radar.

I join in the battle involving the national guard, encouraging the Keres to join my side in sowing fear and death during war.

6: You arrive at the White House, but are unable to influence the battle in any meaningful way.

Déjà-vu! bestrfcplayer is growing delirious from the blood loss, suffering -2 to all rolls.
The Secret Service arrives and attempts to "neutralize" TheLastOne36.
ROLL TO DODGE!
18: TheLastOne36's rock-hard arm easily deflects their shots, and he manages to grab one of the agents as a hostage/shield.

 

[TheLastOne36]

My troops fight there way to the top of the whitehouse and proclaim me Emperor of America.

 

[bestrfcplayer]

I go to a hospital in France to heal myself. Hope it works out the FIRST time this time.

 

[choxorn]

I check my equipment and correct my course, making sure to actually reach DC this time.

I also yell at kill fire to be active and come help me.

 

[GenMarshall]

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF....

I stumble across a coin that I hope will bring me better luck

(And you wonder why Coruscantis in the DYOS series tend to be superstitious .)

 

[choxorn]

Eh, do you always quit when you get a bit of bad luck?

What are you, French?

 

[GenMarshall]

Eh, do you always quit when you get a bit of bad luck?

What are you, French?

No just frustrated with all this bad luck I have been getting while the rest of ya are getting good rolls. I'd possibly would have better luck playing Craps or Blackjack.

 

[Seon]

I forge a sword that shoots swords.

 

[TheLastOne36]

This is my first positive roll in a couple of days.