Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[CivCube]

I use the CubeCannon on the militants.

 

[Ailedhoo]

Sneak along the wall; there must be something along these passages!

 

[Omega124]

Now that blushing is over, I pull out falchion and give an awakening of death to SK. There can only be one!

 

[JohannaK]

12: You join the game with ...what was the name of your favourite revolver?

A polished chrome Magnum Research BFR, long barrel, chambered for the .500 S&W

And a holster I suppose?

I shoot something with my Big F*cking Revolver.

 

[Dhoomstriker]

Using the results of the autopsy to inform us, the rookie staff and I medically prepare the bodies of Terrance888 and the six fallen lions for a grand final send-off.

 

[GenMarshall]

I thank the Murder Fairy profusedly and ask her if she has a stash of Holy Hand Grenades that she can give to me, too.

 

[hoplitejoe]

Sam teaches me to shoot the Kalashnikov

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I use the CubeCannon on the militants.

15 (16): Adjusting the beam aperture, you hit them all at once through a cunning feint, swapping them with Kinich-Ahau's security detail. With potential opponents having lost much of their muscle, you gain a +1 bonus to statecraft.

Sneak along the wall; there must be something along these passages!

17 (20): You find an exhaust port about two metres wide, bit enough to fit the box.

Now that blushing is over, I pull out falchion and give an awakening of death to SK. There can only be one!

18 (19): With a swing the likes of William Wallace, you cleave the usurper in twain.

Momiji is quick to respond.
ROLL TO DODGE!
14 (14): You elbow her in the face for 5 damage.

I shoot something with my Big F*cking Revolver.

18: With a quip of "Nothin personnel, kid," you deliver a well-placed shot to the bacta tank, causing it to explode in such a way that Dhoomstriker takes all the shrapnel and none of the bacta, suffering 18 damage and -4 hitpoints from cuts and scrapes.

Using the results of the autopsy to inform us, the rookie staff and I medically prepare the bodies of Terrance888 and the six fallen lions for a grand final send-off.

2 (4): You're rather distracted by all the metal shards suddenly piercing your body.

I thank the Murder Fairy profusedly and ask her if she has a stash of Holy Hand Grenades that she can give to me, too.

5 (6): The Murder Fairy is gone, but you notice a grenade rolling across the floor with no pin—
ROLL TO DODGE!
4 (1): You take the blast full force, suffering 20 damage ongoing -6 hitpoints from major wounds.

Sam teaches me to shoot the Kalashnikov

7 (8): Sam is no longer in the vicinity.

 

[JohannaK]

I quietly leave the scene, undetected.

 

[hoplitejoe]

waving bye to the guards, I proceed to walk into the base.

 

[GenMarshall]

As an expert in munitions, I easily identify how the blast affected my body and I work on patching myself up.

 

[Dhoomstriker]

"Nothin personnel, kid,"

Taking the sexy alien at her word*, although being prudent enough to grab Terrance888's Snake-flail and Battery pack x5 (trust, but not blindly), the rookie staff and I unperturbedly resume medically preparing the bodies of Terrance888 and the six lions for the grandest of all funerals.

Spoiler :

OOC: * Recall that my character can understand alien languages:

A librarian leads me to books about alien literature, philosophy, and culture, where I use my academia expertise to learn how to better communicate with aliens.

19 (20): YOU CAN TALK TO TEH ALIENZ!

 

[Omega124]

I tell blackwater to deal with the lowly npc while I got better things to do

 

[CivCube]

I invest in civics education for the populace.

 

[Ailedhoo]

I do not know where the exhaust port leads to and going in it may prove harmful; continue sneaking using the box along the passage ways.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I quietly leave the scene, undetected.

13: You move on to greener pastures. Or at least, less-red ones.

waving bye to the guards, I proceed to walk into the base.

9 (10): The base is no longer in the vicinity either.

As an expert in munitions, I easily identify how the blast affected my body and I work on patching myself up.

16 (15): You stop the bleeding.

Taking the sexy alien at her word*, although being prudent enough to grab Terrance888's Snake-flail and Battery pack x5 (trust, but not blindly), the rookie staff and I unperturbedly resume medically preparing the bodies of Terrance888 and the six lions for the grandest of all funerals.

3: One of the rookies accidentally nicks himself with the flail, dropping it on a battery pack that ruptures, setting off a chain reaction!
ROLL TO DODGE!
4: The personnel flee back inside as they're scalded by acid while you take 16 damage and suffer ongoing -4 hitpoints as it corrodes your body. Also Terrance is now definitely permadead.

I tell blackwater to deal with the lowly npc while I got better things to do

16 (18): Some merc—I mean, contract soldiers—surround Momiji and "escort" her off the premises.

I invest in civics education for the populace.

11 (13): The public now understands how democracy is supposed to work, rather than just checking a box and hoping for the best.

I do not know where the exhaust port leads to and going in it may prove harmful; continue sneaking using the box along the passage ways.

15 (18): You sneak all the way to the other side of the base.

CubeCannon resumes autotarget with a wider beam, swapping JohannaK and the Rebellious Prisoners!

 

[Omega124]

Right, with the civil war now officially over, I start statecraft img.

I start with a national highway system throughout Namibia so that next time NATO invades, I can better mobilize troops and maybe not nessecairly rely on mercenaries much(not that I don't love you, fam)

 

[Ailedhoo]

Scout this side for any aircraft hangers, workshops, labs, communication arrays, alien holding cells, torture chamber etch.

Of course I will search while sneaking in the box.

 

[SouthernKing]

edit: mr skeltal haunts this thread wooooooowoooo~

 

[JohannaK]

I look at the mirror to discover myself to be the living image of Ziggy Stardust as seen on the album cover.