Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[Seon]

I blast my way through Black Mesa with my drunk buddy, firing railgun and shotgun everywhere.

Bonus points if I somehow cause Resonance cascade and unleash the green apocalypse.

 

[landlubber]

I get in the boat and ride away.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

OPEN FIRE ON BESTRFCPLAYER.

11 (12): You deal 20 damage in a rain of fire.

Fix myself using cybernetics.

5: Shoving pieces of metal into your bleeding stump only intensifies the pain. -8 hitpoints for you.

i make a lesson and teach it

11: You splice together a lesson plan and begin lecturing.

I try and encourage more natives in other places to join.

8: You can't yell that loud.

I blast my way through Black Mesa with my drunk buddy, firing railgun and shotgun everywhere.

10 (14): It's like playing Half-Life, but without the risk.

I get in the boat and ride away.

9: From where'd Oilherb get that whip?!
ROLL TO GET OVER HERE!
11: You avoid the entanglement and prime the engine.

 

[Seon]

I cause the Resonance Cascade to Occur.

 

[choxorn]

I finish off bestrfcplayer with MAC guns.

 

[mythmonster2]

Seek glorious Ukrainian health care

 

[!!!!!]

we make body armor for me with medicine in it so when i get hurt it will heal me

 

[Abaddon]

I enter all the competitions in a woman magazine.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I cause the Resonance Cascade to Occur.

10: They've sealed the blast doors to the more critical areas.

I finish off bestrfcplayer with MAC guns.

3 (4): He throws bubblegum into the barrels, leading to some sort of catastrophic backlash.
ROLL TO DODGE!
13 (14): The chopper goes down, but you land on him.

Seek glorious Ukrainian health care

16: You are admitted to emergency and are patched up 30 hitpoints as they stop the bleeding. Each turn spent in the hospital will restore 3 hitpoints.

we make body armor for me with medicine in it so when i get hurt it will heal me

12: You integrate nanomachinery with biochemistry.

I enter all the competitions in a woman magazine.

5: Tatiata Kozhevnikova. Need I say more?

 

[Seon]

I kick the door down Sparta style.

 

[mythmonster2]

I decide to look around the hospital while I'm here.

 

[choxorn]

We make repairs to the Heli and UNSC stuff from silly damaging things like Bubble Gum and crashing into the ground.

 

[!!!!!]

i kill woodland man with my back hoe and take all of his stuff and use his dead body as a test subject

 

[Double A]

I HADOUKEN kill fire.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I kick the door down Sparta style.

17: Two feet of steel are no match for your robo-strength.

I decide to look around the hospital while I'm here.

5: You stub your toe for 3 damage.

We make repairs to the Heli and UNSC stuff from silly damaging things like Bubble Gum and crashing into the ground.

20: It's even better than before (!).

i kill woodland man with my back hoe and take all of his stuff and use his dead body as a test subject

4: woodland man smacks you upside the head for 15 damage.

I HADOUKEN kill fire.

11: You toss a burning match into his hair, dealing 6 damage.

 

[Double A]

I pour gas on his (still flaming) head.

 

[mythmonster2]

I chat it up with one of the sexy nurses.

 

[!!!!!]

i show my class how to heal by healing myself

 

[choxorn]

We aid the destruction of kill fire, by firing guns to kill kill fire.

To Double A and mythmonster:

Can I join your alliance of awesomeness?

 

[Abaddon]

I ponder the deeper questions in life.