Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[GenMarshall]

I request backup to investigate who this female assassin is

 

[Seon]

Pick your poison

Spoiler Umbrella Coprs Assassin Claire Raval :

Spoiler NOVA :

Spoiler Samus :

 

[choxorn]

Please make it Samus, just for delicious irony.

 

[GenMarshall]

Pick your poison

Spoiler Umbrella Coprs Assassin Claire Raval :

SPY SAPPIN MAH JILL SANVICH!!!!!

 

[Double A]

Ew, she looks so ugly.

Samus is just awesome, but I've never seen/heard of NOVA before. And all I have to say is ga ga gobbldygook.

 

[Abaddon]

I level up.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I place all metal objects that I have farther away from the cannon, then order it to attack bestrfcplayer again.

7 (8): You lose the target.

THAT'S IT! We all charge after landlubber.

5: His brain food translates into combat prowess, and he single-handedly holds off your entire army, even dealing you 10 damage.

Me and my drunk buddy journey to the Black Mesa Research Facility using anti gravity harnesses to fly.

16: HELLO, AND AGAIN, WELCOME TO THE APERTURE SCIENCE *wham* Black Mesa research facility.

what is combo breaker?

i change my clinic into a medical school for animals

(When people repeat the same order as the previous turn)

9: If You Build It, They Won't Come Without Advertising.

KFC DIES.

7: His stomach feels slightly upset.

Me and my aquatic friends get back to our boat.

1: Captain Oilherb steps out slowly and menacingly.
ROLL TO DODGE!
5: A shot from his pistol deals 11 damage.

Well, since I'm lost in Ukraine, might as well do something here. TRAINING MONTAGE!

17: Through a rigorous program, you increase your attack and defence skills to +1 each.

I request backup to investigate who this female assassin is

13: The RCMP is on the case.

I level up.

3: As you attempt a push-up, the blood flow to your nose increases the injury to -3 hp/turn.

 

[!!!!!]

i advertise to animals that if they help me build it they get a free scholarship to it

 

[Seon]

I collect Uranium that seems to naturally occur in the catacombs of Black Mesa. They come in purty boxes too!

 

[choxorn]

I look for bestrfcplayer, and fly closer to his location to make it easier to actually hit him.

 

[Abaddon]

I get a doctor to heal my nose

 

[landlubber]

I shove Oilherb out of the boat and ride away.

 

[civplayah]

I go after landlubber and prevent him from escaping.

 

[Double A]

You know that part at the end in God of War 3, where Kratos LITERALLY beats Zeus to a pulp, and doesn't stop till you want him to?

Yeah, I do that to KFC.

 

[mythmonster2]

NOW I find KFC.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

i advertise to animals that if they help me build it they get a free scholarship to it

18: Your next class is booked solid.

I collect Uranium that seems to naturally occur in the catacombs of Black Mesa. They come in purty boxes too!

6: You don't have the correct security clearance to be here.

I look for bestrfcplayer, and fly closer to his location to make it easier to actually hit him.

13 (14): You bring yourself to hover over the liner.

I get a doctor to heal my nose

19: You are admitted to emergency at !!!!!'s medical school as the practice patient. Good thing they got it right on the first try. You regain 20 hitpoints.

I shove Oilherb out of the boat and ride away.

5: Captain Oilherb will not be so easily discouraged.
ROLL TO DODGE!
16: You grab a plank of wood and manage to skirmish with him long enough for the dolphins to return to the sea.

I go after landlubber and prevent him from escaping.

1: "CHAAAARGE!" is not advisable to shout near a rhinoceros. As all the animals advance in a frenzied mob, you are trampled for 28 damage.

You know that part at the end in God of War 3, where Kratos LITERALLY beats Zeus to a pulp, and doesn't stop till you want him to?

Yeah, I do that to KFC.

14: You close the distance and commence MORTAL KOMBAT with kill fire, pummelling him out of 16 hitpoints.

NOW I find KFC.

1: "The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single-"
*click*
You lose 48 hitpoints and your left leg from triggering an AP mine, PLUS -12 hp/turn from your cumulative injuries.

 

[choxorn]

OPEN FIRE ON BESTRFCPLAYER.

I don't care with what, just fire at him with something. Actually, fire at him with everything.

 

[mythmonster2]

Whoa, whoa whoa! Fix myself using cybernetics.

 

[!!!!!]

i make a lesson and teach it

 

[civplayah]

I try and encourage more natives in other places to join.