Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[Terrance888]

I clear my modifiers.

 

[Double A]

I summon Exodia and Obliterate the other ship.

 

[mythmonster2]

Charge at Red_Spy, bonesaw raised.

 

[Seon]

I calm my mind and my soul and my body of these heathen negative modifiers

 

[Red_Spy]

I use the force.

 

[Darth Caesar]

I chart a course to Halo!

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

The acid is neutralised as I heal completely.

8: The nanobots are working as hard as they can!

Enough with the constant attacks. I slice Bagel Men into over 9000 pieces!

4 (8): Your attack fails as what looks like a single bagel splits into two at the last second.
ROLL TO DODGE!
8: Bagel Man smacks you broadside for 10 damage.
ROLL TO DODGE!
8: Bagel Man smacks you back for another 10 damage.

I clear my modifiers.

11: You reduce your aggression penalty by one point.

I summon Exodia and Obliterate the other ship.

2 (5): You find yourself disheartened that you lack the requisite cards. Your damaged self-image reduces your charisma by one point.

Charge at Red_Spy, bonesaw raised.

7 (8): A beautiful wind-up... and stellar miss.

I calm my mind and my soul and my body of these heathen negative modifiers

20 (18): You manage to restore cerebral equilibrium, and even boost your immune system enough to shave off four points of corrosion.

I use the force.

14: You Suggest mythmonster2 swing that saw somewhere else.

I chart a course to Halo!

20: If faster-than-light travel made a sonic boom, you'd hear it now.

 

[Red_Spy]

I rechart a course so that the ship burns up on the nearest star.

 

[Double A]

I cheer myself up with my own charisma.

 

[mythmonster2]

Get my bodyguard to do something.

 

[Darth Caesar]

While I travel I look in the ship for any weapons.

 

[Seon]

Merge myself to the ship's AI core.

 

[Terrance888]

I use my advanced psychologist skills to cure myself of my aggression malus.

 

[Abaddon]

I start a timer which will end the round in 10 turns..

(Seriously, this has been going on forever!)

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I rechart a course so that the ship burns up on the nearest star.

10: You have not the authority, tools, or proximity to any sort of control mechanism to do that. 'Sides, the engines were destroyed.

I cheer myself up with my own charisma.

20 (20): You feel like you're guaranteed to succeed.

Get my bodyguard to do something.

8 (9): He seems to be lying face-forward, for some reason.

While I travel I look in the ship for any weapons.

19: You find a strange white pistol with the label "TYPE F01 FRICTIONLESS FIREARM".

Merge myself to the ship's AI core.

2: You bash yourself against the cell bars, inflicting 18 damage leading to internal bleeding at a rate of -9 hp/turn.

I use my advanced psychologist skills to cure myself of my aggression malus.

18: And you didn't even know you were trained.

I start a timer which will end the round in 10 turns..

4: Turns out the acid has made it to your vital organs faster than your overall stamina registers. You will die if your hitpoints fall below 50.

The Bagel Men redouble the assault.
ROLL TO DODGE!
4: The Bagel Men make a CivGeneral Sandwich, inflicting 14 damage and squeezing him out of 3 hitpoints each turn.

 

[Red_Spy]

I stab Abaddon.

 

[mythmonster2]

Pick him up and check for injuries.

 

[Double A]

I telepathically charm RS into wanting me to be world leader.

 

[Terrance888]

Use my psychologist training to hypnotize Red Spy.

 

[Abaddon]

Jesus Christ, can I get a nice roll!!

Action: HEAL