Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[Thorvald of Lym]

I build a homemade oven out of a squirrel, some string, and an oven.

6 (9): Tragically, you lack a power source.

Cure my numbness. I don't want ANY penalty when I get that glass out of my scrotum owie!

7 (16): You restore circulation and reduce bruising.

I get a part time job as a nurse to help pay off my debt.

3: The whole damn medical bay is no longer attached to the ship.

I get rid of my debt somehow.

10 (8): Well, you have a salary...

My corpse bleeds on mythmonster.

10: Arterial pressure has already exhausted.

I REFUSE TO GIVE UP! I find other people to help me overthrow God!

7: It's Heaven. Who do you expect to find?

The still-mobile Bagel Man makes another pass at Terrance888.
ROLL TO DODGE!
19: He swallows him whole, regaining 75 hitpoints.

 

[Red_Spy]

As I lay there medicated, I think of what I need to do in life. (win condition)

 

[Skwink]

I countinue to protect Red_Spy.

 

[Double A]

I telepathically ask Skwink what he wants in exchange for an endorsement.

 

[mythmonster2]

Wait what? The medical bay detached? Good thing I got out!

Remove the glass from my scrotum.

 

[Double A]

Wait what? The medical bay detached? Good thing I got out!

Remove the glass from my scrotum.

Yeah, it was about 5-10 turns ago.

 

[GenMarshall]

I show Mythmonster who's laughing now and give him the death glare.

 

[Darth Caesar]

Fine, I nap for eternity

 

[Terrance888]

I find and destroy Redspy.

 

[Seon]

Braaaaaiiiiiiiiinnnnnns

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

As I lay there medicated, I think of what I need to do in life. (win condition)

19 (17): Fix the ship and get everyone to Dune.

I countinue to protect Red_Spy.

1: Your gun discharges right into his bleedin' 'ead for 37 damage, leading to a hemorrhage that negates the healing rate and renders him comatose.

I telepathically ask Skwink what he wants in exchange for an endorsement.

20 (20): Skwink please specify condition

Remove the glass from my scrotum.

16 (20): You stop the bleeding and restore 40 hitpoints.

I show Mythmonster who's laughing now and give him the death glare.

20 (18): Your creepy demeanour causes him discomfort, impeding all his rolls by 3.

Fine, I nap for eternity

7: That's a long time.

I find and destroy Redspy.

7 (11): You find him, but Skwink Caesar seems to be doing your work for you.

Braaaaaiiiiiiiiinnnnnns

11: Yes, they are kinda leaking out of Red_Spy, aren't they?

!!!!!, Spleyminy and Tlc2011 suffer 30 damage for inactivity.

 

[Skwink]

I call a nurse and toss the gun under the bed while whistling.

I want some help guarding Red_Spy from his guard, Double A.

 

[mythmonster2]

Stare back at CG.

 

[Red_Spy]

do nothing.

 

[Double A]

I help Shwink by using my space cheeseburger to guard RS from his guard.

 

[Darth Caesar]

I start an eternal dance party!

 

[Seon]

*Self Destruct Sequence Initiated*

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I call a nurse and toss the gun under the bed while whistling.

17: You hide the gun from sight. The nurse assists Abaddon's clone, increasing the healing rate by +15 hp/turn.

Stare back at CG.

6 (4): Your eyes dry out, evaporating 6 hitpoints.

do nothing.

Since you're comatose, that's very easy to do.

I help Shwink by using my space cheeseburger to guard RS from his guard.

16 (19): You send your burger to him to distract him from his ward.

I start an eternal dance party!

17: PARTY ON.

*Self Destruct Sequence Initiated*

13: Your body begins to decompose.

 

[landlubber]

I join the dance party.

 

[mythmonster2]

Stop the staring contest by pointing the chaingun at CG and telling him to back off.