Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[Omega124]

I KILL GHOST. I KILL GHOST. I KILL GHOST. I KILL GHOST. I KILL GHOST. I KILL GHOST. I KILL GHOST. I KILL GHOST. I KILL GHOST. I KILL GHOST. I KILL GHOST. I KILL GHOST. I KILL GHOST. I KILL GHOST. I KILL GHOST. I KILL GHOST.

*manic laughter*

 

[CivCube]

Amazing, I do the same action again.

 

[JohannaK]

I decide to land for proper repairs. ESA launchpad at Kourou should be free.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

Utalizing my skills in sneak attacks and infiltration, I have Frank distract Ted as I hide to maneuver a sneak attack against Ted by driving a Chef's Knife right into Ted's back.

20 (19): Drebbin manages to divert Cruz's attention long enough for you to covertly shift position, granting you a +3 bonus to your next attack.
ROLL TO DODGE!
12 (14): Frank holds his ground against Cruz, inflicting 7 damage in retaliation.

I KILL GHOST. I KILL GHOST. I KILL GHOST. I KILL GHOST. I KILL GHOST. I KILL GHOST. I KILL GHOST. I KILL GHOST. I KILL GHOST. I KILL GHOST. I KILL GHOST. I KILL GHOST. I KILL GHOST. I KILL GHOST. I KILL GHOST. I KILL GHOST.

*manic laughter*

5 (1): You were the Chosen One! You were supposed to end the madness, not succumb to it!—You lose 2 SAN and the Unfeeling trait since you've clearly given over to the id.
ROLL TO DODGE!
19 (16): That said, jumping him like a hyena and clawing at his face for -17 hitpoints and another ongoing 1 damage does prove an effective stratagem...

Amazing, I do the same action again.

7 (14): You give the front line a white-hot welcome, impeding this turn's Attack -1 point.

I decide to land for proper repairs. ESA launchpad at Kourou should be free.

4 (5): As you re-enter the upper atmosphere, the EKNC focuses a conventional missile salvo on your trajectory.
ROLL TO DODGE!
2 (6): Battered from all angles, shields fall 19% and armour is hit for -8% leading to minor damage to internal systems.

SOL 740 goes for the 17th.
ROLL TO DODGE!
11 (12): It strafes the formation for 13 damage.

The EKNC opts to finish off Pakistan.
ROLL TO DODGE!
9 (11): Balochistan falls, and with it, the Republic.
Pakistan has been defeated by the EKNC!
Cruz's forces launch a fresh offensive against Cuba.
ROLL TO DODGE!
1 (1): Those commies prove a lot more resilient than expected. Cuban Defence rises 3 points, and Haiti, the Bahamas, and the Dominican Republic fortify from their observations. The Ghost Army continues its advance into Ethiopia.
ROLL TO DODGE!
7 (10): The offensive falls flat on its face, mainly because CivCube killed the soldiers.

The Eternal Kingdom has readied THREE nukes!!!

​

 

[JohannaK]

We land to repair.

 

[CivCube]

I take a moment to march with women.

 

[Omega124]

I do a hyena howl

 

[GenMarshall]

Using the M16, I take aim at Ted's head to deliver several headshots to the back of his head, then I follow up by stabbing him in the back to deliver a killing blow to Ted.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

We land to repair.

16 (17): It barely fits the launch platform, but you manage to touch down without further incident. As long as the ship remains docked, all facilities will repair 3–10% each turn. Note that during this time, most of the ship's combat bonuses are suspended.

I take a moment to march with women.

6 (7): Uh-oh, looks like they've all been conscripted for the breeding camps...

I do a hyena howl

16 (15): You summon the Hyena Clan to your side, who immediately set upon the Ghost Writer!
ROLL TO DODGE!
13 (12): They nip at his heels for 15 damage. He tries to fend them off.
ROLL TO DODGE!
6 (5): Outnumbered and out-bonecrushingjawed, he's mauled for another 15 damage.

Using the M16, I take aim at Ted's head to deliver several headshots to the back of his head, then I follow up by stabbing him in the back to deliver a killing blow to Ted.

10 (13): What, you think this is DYOS where every boss fight ends with some over-the-top vengeful overkill? One bullet will do.

CivGeneral has defeated Ted Cruz! He claims Cruz's items as spoils of war.

SOL 740 gets a lock... on the Ghost Writer!
ROLL TO DODGE!
6 (8): The beam misses the mark and takes out some superstructure instead.

With Cruz defeated, the Eternal Kingdom launches a nuke at the USS Mike Pence in revenge!
ROLL TO DODGE!
19 (14): The shields absorb most of the blast, taking 31% effectiveness. Hoping to nab JohannaK while the ship's in port, the American cell tries to establish a springboard in the Lesser Antilles!
ROLL TO DODGE!
15 (17): The monarchists seize several of the southern islands, crippling Defence in Trinidad and Tobago, Barbados, and Martinique -1 each.
Saint Lucia has been defeated by the EKNC!
Saint Vincent and the Grenadines have been defeated by the EKNC!
Grenada has been defeated by the EKNC!
Meanwhile, the Somali cell follows through on the Yemeni front.
ROLL TO DODGE!
13 (15): A blistering spearhead pushes further up the coast.

​

 

[JohannaK]

I board the Frecnh carrier Charles de Gaulle which happens to be docked in French Guyana and command it to repel EKNC forces in the Caribbean.

 

[GenMarshall]

I make course to Nova Terran repair dockyards on Ganymede.

 

[Omega124]

While ghost is distracted, I stab him with my sword.

 

[CivCube]

I continue on my way to Ghost Writer.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I board the Frecnh carrier Charles de Gaulle which happens to be docked in French Guyana and command it to repel EKNC forces in the Caribbean.

9 (10): You're not even Foreign Legion; what makes you think they'd put you in charge of the Marine Nationale's crown jewel?

I make course to Nova Terran repair dockyards on Ganymede.

6: "Nova Terra"? Colonies on the Jovian moons? What sort of sci-fi world are you living in, man? Anyway, you move out from behind the moon.

While ghost is distracted, I stab him with my sword.

17 (10): There are too many hyenas in the way!
ROLL TO DODGE!
14 (9): But not so many that he can't economize you for 7 damage and -$8.38.
ROLL TO DODGE!
18 (15): A hyena seizes him by the wrist, inflicting 17 damage.

I continue on my way to Ghost Writer.

12 (15): But Mr. Cube... you're already there.
ROLL FOR INITIATIVE!
20 (20): "Hope you don't mind if I..." *dons shades* "Cash in."
ROLL TO AGGRESS!
7 (11): Getting a clear shot, you introduce yourself to Ghosty with 14 damage. This combined with everything else stuns him so much that he forfeits his attack next turn!

SOL 740 goes for the Ghost Writer again!
ROLL TO DODGE!
15 (16): A tighter focus allows it to hit him without endangering the other combatants, dealing 15 damage.

"The time has come," the Mad King said, "To INHALE CHINA! MINE, ALL MINE!!!!"
ROLL TO DODGE!
13 (17): A ruthless assault annexes northern China and recovers another missile that will be ready in 5 turns. Over in America, the war for the Midwest continues.
ROLL TO DODGE!
20 (20): The western states fall, taking out 1 Defence from the USA and another 2 nukes that will be prepped in 2 turns! The Ghost Writer's forces intensify the export of lie-Bert-Aryanism to Somalia.
ROLL TO DODGE!
1 (2): But Somaliland's adherence to freedom-hating statism continues to thwart economic growth. +2 Defence? Inconceivable!

​

 

[JohannaK]

I entertain the repair crews with a concert in their resting time.

 

[CivCube]

I redistribute my bullets to Ghost Writer's torso. Socialism!

 

[GenMarshall]

I set a course for Mars.

 

[NinjaCow64]

I swear at CFC for unsubscribing me. Again. Really cool boss fight concept btw Thor. Oh yeah, btw who make up the Gang of Four/Patron Saints in this boss battle?

 

[JohannaK]

At this stage I think they're all dead except Christos Xinjiang, and also Ghost Writer who is at the brink of destruction and is cornered by Megs, CivCuba, and a pack of hyenas.

 

[Omega124]

I UNLEASH MY LIMIT BREAK.

OMNISLASH