Roll to Dodge XXV: Furthermore Ludicrous Edition (Part II)

[Earthling]

turns out there's just all sorts of experimental stuff on this sub - I inject myself with a genetically engineered bacteriophage that clears up the infection and leaving that dramatic one turn to spare to stop the sinking.

 

[mechaerik]

I stare angrily at the scientists, which makes them feel so uncomfortable that they release me.

 

[Yoshiegg737]

I find super powerful jet packs, which allow me to blast out of the Leviathan

 

[Boundless]

I continue to tan, becoming even more beautiful.

 

[Abaddon]

While the beautiful ladies cheer me on, I use my AK to bring Boundless back within bounds by piercing his tanned skin of weakness.

1: The gun jams.. as the women scream in terror! Next turn you will be attacked by 6 separate attacks from them. The women surround Boundless boosting her next roll by 4.

We go on a honeymoon to Hawaii.

4 (5): You are arrested at the airport. It seems Natasha was travelling with more than her luggage...

I find a minigun named Sasha.

20: No one outsmarts a bullet..

turns out there's just all sorts of experimental stuff on this sub - I inject myself with a genetically engineered bacteriophage that clears up the infection and leaving that dramatic one turn to spare to stop the sinking.

6: Yeah, that wasn't a genetically engineered bacteriophage..I think it was some puss that had been sucked out of someones buttpimple.. hmm..noiyce..

(Whatever the infection causes, its effects will be doubled.. good or bad..)

I stare angrily at the scientists, which makes them feel so uncomfortable that they release me.

11: As they cower, you walk out the facility.

I find super powerful jet packs, which allow me to blast out of the Leviathan

14 (16): Zoooom! The poor Leviathan is ruptured as you punch out through it and into the sky above.

I continue to tan, becoming even more beautiful.

7 (12): Your beauty is everymore powerful!

 

[Terrance888]

I gun all of them down, one by one. You don't double cross a maniac.

 

[Yoshiegg737]

I find a weapon to attach to my flashlight

 

[mechaerik]

I help the crowd of women by beating up Terrance888.

 

[Earthling]

I direct full overload power on the standard propellors which keeps the sub afloat.

 

[Red_Spy]

I shoot Mechaerick as he walks out of the facility.

 

[Boundless]

I coerce Yoshiegg737 into giving me his flashlight, making the tanning process 10 times more successful.

 

[Skwink]

I tell the police that these aren't the bags they're looking for.

 

[Abaddon]

I gun all of them down, one by one. You don't double cross a maniac.

7: You're gun is blocked!
Roll to Dodge 1: 10
-She slaps you across the face for 1HP
Roll to Dodge 2: 13
-She missed
Roll to Dodge 3: 18
-You dodge and steal her stiletto
Roll to Dodge 4: 13
-You dodge
Roll to Dodge 5: 12
-You dodge
Roll to Dodge 6: 6
-Exhausted the final woman catches you a cruel blow to the family jewels (-3hp)

I find a weapon to attach to my flash light

7: You can't seem to find anything

I help the crowd of women by beating up Terrance888.

20: All manly and buff, you come over and beat several shades of snot out of Terrance, taking his items away, and stand over him.

I direct full overload power on the standard propellers which keeps the sub afloat.

4: All you manage to do is wreck the engine completely... you are going down... the sub will be crushed in 3 turns...

I shoot Mechaerick as he walks out of the facility.

14 (16): The bullets fly and slam into Mechaerick, ripping 5(7)hp from him..

I coerce Yoshiegg737 into giving me his flash light, making the tanning process 10 times more successful.

16 (18): Mesmerized by your beauty, he hands over the torch, the torch shines on you, you are a goddess to all who look at you...

I tell the police that these aren't the bags they're looking for.

20: Very embarrassed, the police release you, not before giving you some body armour and a gun.

 

[Terrance888]

I kick him between the legs... (oh wait.. well, just kick his trash can) and win back the praise of the women for licking such a large piece of trash. I steal my items backa s well.

 

[Red_Spy]

I point a finger gun at Terrance, saying Pow! You are dead, which he becomes after the attack.

 

[Boundless]

I use my goddess prowess to get all the bikini ladies on my side as well. They want to know how to become as beautiful as me...

 

[Skwink]

I drive Natasha and I to the Mob's HQ.

 

[Yoshiegg737]

I falcon punch Boundless and take my flashlight back and escape on my Jetpack

 

[mechaerik]

In a show of utter manliness, I rip off one of Terrance888's arms and begin beating him with it, while saying "Why are you hitting yourself" over and over.

EDIT: Is using my Medkit a free action, or do I use a turn for it?

EDIT EDIT: Terrance, I don't have a trash can?

 

[Earthling]

I find a scuba suit, otherwise just waiting on that infection too...