Fair point, though i think that these two things are very different in that virtually all the portrayed gender issues have to a varying degree significant relevance in public dialogue today, starting with the fact that they, well, exist.
Most minutiae of medieval warfare on the other hand are - in their practical application anyway - next to non-existent in the developed world and utterly irrelevant to public dialogue. So there may as well be dragons, i suppose.
(Yes, yes, "Dragons" v. "minutiae" - i see
that point, you don't have to make it.

).
Well, really my point was that Martin included the elements because he wanted to, not specifically because he was trying to imitate medieval Europe or something like that. He said so himself that Westeros, Essos, etc. are all a hodge-podge of different real-world inspired things taken from all over history. For goodness' sake, we have the Holy Roman Empire slash Roman Britain slash just-plain-Britain (as it please you), Wales-Euskadi, the vikings, northerners who can't decide if they're Scotch-Irish or Norwegian, Mongol hordes, Persia, the Ming Dynasty, Vijayanagar, 16th century Italy,
Carthage, Morocco, Tripoli, and Caribbea shoved in there basically at random.
So while, ordinarily, I'd say that the portrayal of rape and sexual violence against women is not
a priori hands-off, and it can be done (if not tastefully) in a way that has meaning and power (see: Stieg Larsson), it does give me some pause to contemplate the argument that he included it just because it's historical. Well, bull-freaking-crap. History ain't got no place here. History has been flayed and beaten and painted over. This is Martin-land. So if there's too much violence against women, history can't be to blame.
For the record, despite my (hopefully, anyway) reputation 'roundabouts these parts as a frothing feminist eunuch, I don't think the books are sexist. I think that point Martin's making is a fair bit broader than that, about the dark heart of the human race, and we see it in the portraiture of his characters. The books are filled with good people doing evil things for good reasons, and the opposite of that as well. If we call it sexist, we have to call it Orientalist, for its portrayal of Essos as a static, unchanging bloc that only experiences Turmoil when Daenerys the
white DRAGON queen comes blazing through; classist, for the casual portrayal of the systematic oppression and abuse of the so-called "smallfolk;" racist, for reasons that should be obvious; and violence-glorifying, because
mother of god there is a lot of blood.
Maybe it is all those things. Maybe Martin is a horrible person and the
Song is a horrible thing. But I think the themes of horror, corruption, and brutality run too deep across too wide a vein to shoehorn it into a box like that. The night is dark and full of terrors. Well, that's just life. Loathe it or ignore it, you can't like it.