Switching nations to annoy das in countering to his annoyances as a moderator in his NES.
This had me inspired...
---
"WHAT?!" - shouted Bimbisara - "He fled?!"
"yyyyes..." - staggered the scared soldier.
"Damn them. What did they flee in? An iceberg or a flying Titannic?"
The soldier, who did not know what is an "ayshbear" OR a "flayhin tay-tanish", and who indeed didn't speak English which was the language Bimbisara spoke for some reason, just nodded and was struck by a lightning. A smarter soldier rushed up and said some gibberish. Bimbisara then remembered that he was an ancient Indian, and thus had to speak Sanskrit. The gibberish also suddenly became very intelligeble if slightly Imitational German-accented.
"[insert some sanskrit here]" - said Bimbisara - "[insert some more sanskrit]"
"Oh." - said the soldier in sanskrit, but was suddenly translated to English - "Well, a flying Titannic I guess."
"Чёртовы пингвины!" - shouted Bimbisara, again forgetting that he spoke only Sanskrit, and not English, nor Russian. He then remembered that and said - "Damn penguins!" - or rather the ancient Sanskrit variety of this. What the hell was "penguin" and how did it appear in ancient Sanskrit if there were no penguins in India could only be explained by the ever-convenient conspiracy theory.
Bimbisara turned around to shake his fist at the fleeing Titannic that passed over his head. Normally he would have killed somebody for not shooting it down with a laser, but as there were no lasers in Magadha back then due to a generator malfunction he just shook his fist. No effect. He shook fist again. No effect. Darn generator!
"Helvetia, eh?" - he asked the Titannic. No effect. It probably wasn't the password for the self-destruction button - "Helvetia? Very well. Feel safe there." - still no effect. Bimbisara was beginning to run out of ideas - "But I and my Magadhans will find you even there! I, and my sons, and sons of my sons, etc, etc, will remember this! And never shall the Magadhans rest until Helvetia is conquered! And everything in between, too! All will be mine! You will die! Or your son will die! Or whoever I find there will die!" That was the password, which was why the Titannic blew up, but an escape pod saved the Harappan leadership from certain death and carried them to Helvetia. Bimbisara didn't bother to shake the fist at it.
Oh, and so the Magadhan Dream of conquering Helvetia, which still burns bright in their souls, was born. Most of them didn't know where Helvetia was, but suspected that it was somewhere to their west, which was why they, after a brief war council, decided to conquer all they see in that direction until they find Helvetia. The Promised Land.
