The 'Elf defence' - excuses and obfuscation

[Xenocrates]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/northern_ireland/6425333.stm

A man accused of a stealing underwear from a shop in a knifepoint raid believed he was a female elf at the time, Belfast Crown Court has heard.

Hmm. Lucky he wasn't a saga of heroes necromancer isn't it?

there have been some extremely dodgy excuses made over the years. This is one of my favourites; when accused of breaking the law they often reply:

"I did nothing wrong"

The first time I heard this was in the 80's over the arms to Iraq scandal. Does it mean "yes I broke the law but it wasn't wrong", or is it a denial?

Recently the "I deny any wrongdoing" defence has been played by Lord Levy in the cash for peerages scandal (which is starting to hot up now BTW).

What's your favourite excuse or obfuscation? Maybe Slick Willy's "I did not have sexual relations with that woman"?

 

[Sidhe]

We had reliable intelligence that Iraq was holding WMD's when we went in? yeah ok. Bush or Blair.

I did not have sexual relations with that woman, a BJ is not sexual as we all know

 

[Xenocrates]

Yup and "that woman" doesn't refer to Monica. Yeah right

 

[crabapple]

elf eh? Maybe next time someone claims to be a werewolf to get away from murder charges

 

[PrinceOfLeigh]

There is a case in English Law whereby a Defendant attempted to defeat a charge of Beastiality. The defendant stated that for a charge of Beastiality he had to have sex with an animal. The defendant stated that the Moose he had sex with wasn't an animal as it was dead. It was therefore a corpse and the beastiality charge should fail.

It didn't work.

I would prefer to just be sent down and be done with it. Fair enough he can't pull a woman, but what kind of man can't even romance a living animal? /Gervais

 

[skadistic]

" But they did it too! So its okay if I did it!"

 

[Grisu]

"I had a difficult childhood"

 

[crabapple]

"I am insane"

 

[Cheezy the Wiz]

"I'm Black, this is rasism."

 

[IglooDame]

"That's not me on the surveillance tapes, it's my evil twin, Skippy!"

 

[warpus]

Even better than the Chewbacca defense

 

[Heretic_Cata]

"I'm sorry but i can't answer, it's against my religion."

That's what i told a coleague who tried to explain some math things to me and asked me a question.

 

[Ziggy Stardust]

Col. Jessep: "Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Whose gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Weinburg? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago, and you curse the marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That Santiago's death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon, and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to."

One of my favourites

 

[Masquerouge]

"But everybody is doing it" is probably one of the most pervasive and used one, though not in court.

 

[skadistic]

" Its not a crime beacause I think the law is immoral"

 

[PrinceOfLeigh]

A good read is Stanley Cohens: States of Denial. It gives the excuses used by most nation states:

"It didn't happen"
"It happened but not in the way suggested"
"It happened in the way suggested but I didn't have responsibility"

Col. Jessep: "Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Whose gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Weinburg? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago, and you curse the marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That Santiago's death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon, and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to."

One of my favourites

The Argument from Authority Fallacy?

 

[Tboy]

'I was cloned and framed when the clone committed the crime!'

 

[Raisin Bran]

I'm sorry. I don't deserve it. reminds me of a certain poster.

 

[Xenocrates]

We had reliable intelligence that Iraq was holding WMD's when we went in? yeah ok. Bush or Blair.

Bush could always say he thought he was the President of Elfsrael.

 

[cthom]

a big boy did it and ran away