Heresy! There is no bread.
The Final and Definitive Sandwich Thread
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sophie
Break My Heart
By this definition, a taco is either a taco or a shushi, a burrito is either a sushi or a calzone, a pie is either a quiche or a calzone, and a club sandwich is a cake.
There are many places where people actually just slice through the entire bread and place the sausage in between. Does that mean that it is a sausage sandwich but not a hot-dog, or is it still a hot-dog therefore doctrinarily not a sandwich, like Japanese immigrants to the US who were whiter-skinned than white people but not allowed to take citizenship because they weren't ‘white’?
sophie
Break My Heart
They're a sushi in France. They're a taco in America. They're borderline a salad in Chicago.
mitsho
Deity
There are two types of Hot Dogs. The ones that are called Taco in the pic above, and the ones that are a Sushi, but with one end of the cube in blue as well (sideways Quiche?). Which just shows that this graph may be well-intended, but it mixes too many variables into one graph. It's fun though and it creates the appropriate reactions in here 
Breadcrumbs are not bread?
Disclaimer: this is from an English newspaper's cooking section:
My lockdown baking obsession got out of control – luckily I've discovered the perfect bread-free sandwich
My doughy belly means it’s time to knock bread on the head – but there is joy to be found in alternatives
During lockdown I devoted myself to baking bread. If you wondered where all the flour had gone, now you know. In the days before the pandemic, whenever I had a spurt of baking enthusiasm, I’d give the stuff to friends. Once lockdown began, this would have constituted as clear a breach of government guidelines as a trip to County Durham, so there was nothing for it: I just had to eat it myself. This I have done for several months, with the result that my stomach has come to resemble dough that has been left to rise for too long: pale, flabby and generally difficult to deal with.
There was nothing for it: I’ve had to knock bread on the head. My sourdough starter reproaches me, well, sourly, every time I open the fridge. But bread is my biggest food issue. Seriously, one slice is too many; a hundred is never enough. Having said that, I can do without it quite easily until I want to make a sandwich. This is a problem, because I have the urge to make a sandwich at least three times a day. So the search began for the best vegetable to substitute for the bread for a sandwich.
The results of an internet search were discouraging, though I did laugh out loud at a great little piece on myrecipes.com. It’s titled 4 Times People Tried to Use Vegetables as Bread and It Was Awful. Better still is the subhead: “It’s just not right, people.” The writer, Sara Tane, goes on to share her views on four “heinous” sandwich bread substitutes: avocado, cucumber, brussel sprouts, and tomato.
I’m not quite sure what the sprouts one is all about, but I tried the other three. The avocado has only one thing going for it: the hole that accommodates the stone is useful for the filling. Other than that, it’s hopeless; my cheese and onion sandwich immediately turned into a right squidgy mess. I could have gone on to try a less ripe specimen, but it would still have been too slippery to deal with. The cucumber works rather better. Sliced in half lengthways with the middle scooped out, it too has convenient filling-space, but has more structure.
As for tomatoes, the big beefy one I used looked promising, but biting into it caused an astonishing amount of juice to squirt out. It put me in mind of the plumes of water those firefighting boats send up in celebration at royal anniversaries and suchlike. Undaunted, I stripped to the waist and pressed on. In the shower afterwards I reflected on how tasty, if impractical, it was.
Next I tried slices of aubergine and sweet potato. Fried or roasted aubergine was just too greasy. I tried drying the slices in a low oven, but this yielded something looking, feeling and tasting like the soles of shoes. I daresay that it was used as such in aubergine-growing areas by medieval cobblers who were short of leather.
The sweet potato worked rather well but, by then, the competition was over; portobello mushrooms are the clear winner. Dry roasted for 15 minutes they are good, but I prefer them raw. With their concave bottoms they are perfect for sandwiches; better than bread, in fact. Beware, though: mushroom selection is all important. I went at first for big, rounded ones. With a burger between the two of them, stalks (obviously) having been removed, it looked magnificent, but I would have needed snake jaws to get my mouth around it. With mushrooms of this shape it’s better to carefully cut through it to create two more manageable slices. Or you can just go for bigger, flatter portobellos, which somehow aren’t quite as attractive to look at, but do the sandwich job terribly well. Honestly, there may be no going back.
My doughy belly means it’s time to knock bread on the head – but there is joy to be found in alternatives
During lockdown I devoted myself to baking bread. If you wondered where all the flour had gone, now you know. In the days before the pandemic, whenever I had a spurt of baking enthusiasm, I’d give the stuff to friends. Once lockdown began, this would have constituted as clear a breach of government guidelines as a trip to County Durham, so there was nothing for it: I just had to eat it myself. This I have done for several months, with the result that my stomach has come to resemble dough that has been left to rise for too long: pale, flabby and generally difficult to deal with.
There was nothing for it: I’ve had to knock bread on the head. My sourdough starter reproaches me, well, sourly, every time I open the fridge. But bread is my biggest food issue. Seriously, one slice is too many; a hundred is never enough. Having said that, I can do without it quite easily until I want to make a sandwich. This is a problem, because I have the urge to make a sandwich at least three times a day. So the search began for the best vegetable to substitute for the bread for a sandwich.
The results of an internet search were discouraging, though I did laugh out loud at a great little piece on myrecipes.com. It’s titled 4 Times People Tried to Use Vegetables as Bread and It Was Awful. Better still is the subhead: “It’s just not right, people.” The writer, Sara Tane, goes on to share her views on four “heinous” sandwich bread substitutes: avocado, cucumber, brussel sprouts, and tomato.
I’m not quite sure what the sprouts one is all about, but I tried the other three. The avocado has only one thing going for it: the hole that accommodates the stone is useful for the filling. Other than that, it’s hopeless; my cheese and onion sandwich immediately turned into a right squidgy mess. I could have gone on to try a less ripe specimen, but it would still have been too slippery to deal with. The cucumber works rather better. Sliced in half lengthways with the middle scooped out, it too has convenient filling-space, but has more structure.
As for tomatoes, the big beefy one I used looked promising, but biting into it caused an astonishing amount of juice to squirt out. It put me in mind of the plumes of water those firefighting boats send up in celebration at royal anniversaries and suchlike. Undaunted, I stripped to the waist and pressed on. In the shower afterwards I reflected on how tasty, if impractical, it was.
Next I tried slices of aubergine and sweet potato. Fried or roasted aubergine was just too greasy. I tried drying the slices in a low oven, but this yielded something looking, feeling and tasting like the soles of shoes. I daresay that it was used as such in aubergine-growing areas by medieval cobblers who were short of leather.
The sweet potato worked rather well but, by then, the competition was over; portobello mushrooms are the clear winner. Dry roasted for 15 minutes they are good, but I prefer them raw. With their concave bottoms they are perfect for sandwiches; better than bread, in fact. Beware, though: mushroom selection is all important. I went at first for big, rounded ones. With a burger between the two of them, stalks (obviously) having been removed, it looked magnificent, but I would have needed snake jaws to get my mouth around it. With mushrooms of this shape it’s better to carefully cut through it to create two more manageable slices. Or you can just go for bigger, flatter portobellos, which somehow aren’t quite as attractive to look at, but do the sandwich job terribly well. Honestly, there may be no going back.
Last edited:
amadeus
Apply directly to the forehead
I am pleased to announce that I have identified the three, and only three, correct answers: sub, open-faced, and folded.
Spoiler extremely important and scientifically valid research :
Contradiction detected. Claim falsified.
I took sliced bread as depicted above by cardgame, put sliced tomato and fresh lettuce on it after adding mayonnaise, then a freshly-fried handmade hamburger patty onto which I'd melted cheese while still on the pan, then a fried egg I'd done in the same oil, on the same pan, side by side with the patty. Then I covered it with another slice of bread, this time with mustard.
This is both a hamburger and a sandwich as well as an explosion of taste that proves that God exists and is benevolent and good.
This is both a hamburger and a sandwich as well as an explosion of taste that proves that God exists and is benevolent and good.
Hygro
soundcloud.com/hygro/
switch chaotic neutral and neutral good
I agree with all of these choices
But how was it sliced?
amadeus
Apply directly to the forehead
A bun is not bread.
Hygro
soundcloud.com/hygro/
it's not even the bun, it's the burger. It just turns it into something else.
Lawful Evil. Technically the bread was a strange brand (it's the first time I've eaten pre-sliced bread in five months) and it was nearly rectangular, so I did two squareish patties, placed them side by side and sliced the bread down the middle to create two square-shaped sandwiches.
Perfection
The Great Head.
Have some recycled content:
Pulitzer Prize winning philosopher/cognitive scientist [wiki]Douglas Hofstadter[/wiki] (co-authored with Emmanuel Sander) On Sandwiches
Book is Surfaces and Essences: Analogy as the Fuel and Fire of Thinking
Anyone who is interested in these sorts of categorization questions should find the book rather insightful.
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