The Iron Will and Positivity Thread

[yung.carl.jung]

Let me begin with the backstory for this idea. For some time I myself have been struggling with self-motivation and with self-discipline (rather, the lack of) and I have noticed that a lot of people on here (for example in the "spare time" and other theads) voice similiar problems.

This thread is intended to help people to stick to their exercise program, to continue writing their blog, to finish that next chapter of their unpublished novel, to help em get over procrastination, get off their ass, and, more importantly, stay off their ass, keep on keeping on. It is also there to watch over your progress , you can update everyone regularly, pat yourself on the back a little, and just in general post positive thoughts.

One thing I had noticed while I stopped smoking is that I told my gf every night that today I didn't smoke. She became a controlling entity for me. If I screw up, if my will breaks and I have a fallout, I have to not only come to terms with it myself, but also tell her. And that has really, really helped me.

So, in making this thread I want to take the first step. I have:

1) Taken a smoke break for 5 days now. It doesn't feel horrible anymore and most of my cravings are gone.. Until I actually get to exercise my free time, then it becomes pure suffering Still, I'm adamant to last at least a month, if not longer.
2) Started a very strict exercise regimen.
Mo, Wed, Fri: I do a warmup (5min), dynamic stretching, then squats, bench press, curls, farmer's walk, one or two random exercises that I vary, then a cooldown, then static stretching, then some balance exercises, for a total of 45m to 60m
Tue, Thurs, Sat, Sun: I do light cardio, mostly jogging, so my muscles have time to regrow stronger!
3) Have started posting pretty reguarly on both of my blogs, usually I prepare like 2 or 3 posts in advance which I then release throughout a week!
4) Have started intermittent fasting. I only eat for 6 hours per day, mostly between 1pm and 7pm. if you want to know about the health benefits of IM fasting please look it up, it's a fantastic thing and also really helps with willpower! I've been doing IM fasting for 5 days also, without snacking a single time after 7pm.

Please post in here if you

1) Have set yourself a goal
2) Are working out
3) Are working on something (creatively)
4) Are working on something (pragmatically)
5) Are quitting a bad habit
6) Are trying to improve your self-discipline
7) Are just looking for general positivity, or looking to partake in the fun!
8) Can help me with my exercise plan, I'm still unsure if that's really a full body workout..

 

[MaryKB]

1) I've set myself a goal to lose 30 pounds by July, and I'm down 6 pound so far!
2) I've restricted my diet, and I'm doing very well. I'm limiting myself to less than 1,000 calories six days a week, and one day a week I'll let myself go to about 1,500. I've also cut pork and beef out of my diet completely, and I've had a lot of success switching things over to turkey (like turkey bacon, turkey sausage, and ground turkey), and I've stuck to this very well for several weeks, and I'm not missing anything!
3) I'm also intermittently fasting, I only eat something every twelve hours (I eat at 6 am when I wake up, and I have dinner at 6 pm), and I'm finding it's working extremely well for me
4) I've also started therapy, and I'm really happy about this
5) I'm feeling much better about myself!

 

[yung.carl.jung]

6 pounds already? props for that! thanks for your contribution and I wish you great success for both your diet and your therapy

 

[rah]

If I've learned anything, never do something for someone else, do it for yourself.
Smoking is a great example. I smoked for over 40 years. Once I tried to quit for my girl friend, (ended up hiding it from her and eventually broke up over trust issues) I tried for my daughter and ended up cheating about it. It made me feel worse about it at first but I got over it.
When I finally decided to do it for me, with the help of Chantix, I succeeded. There is no hiding from yourself. I haven't had a cigarette for over 10 years (except in my dreams)
The urge is still there, but since it was my decision it stayed my decision.

 

[yung.carl.jung]

forgot to mention, I have also rebuilt most of my kitchen, and while it was a lot of work, sweat, and tears, it was definitely worth it and I am happy with the results!!

If I've learned anything, never do something for someone else, do it for yourself.
Smoking is a great example. I smoked for over 40 years. Once I tried to quit for my girl friend, (ended up hiding it from her and eventually broke up over trust issues) I tried for my daughter and ended up cheating about it. It made me feel worse about it at first but I got over it.
When I finally decided to do it for me, with the help of Chantix, I succeeded. There is no hiding from yourself. I haven't had a cigarette for over 10 years (except in my dreams)
The urge is still there, but since it was my decision it stayed my decision.

funny, I used to think exactly the opposite way:

self improvement is good for me, so I should strive to do that, be true to myself

which, imho, turned out to be a strategy of self deception which was mildly effective

and nowadays I think the complete opposite is true:

self improvement makes me a better person and nicer to be around, so I should strive to improve myself for the well being of everyone else

maybe in another 20 years it'll flip again, maybe it's cyclical

 

[sophie]

If I've learned anything, never do something for someone else, do it for yourself.

I feel the same way. If I try to make myself accountable to someone else, I just end up finding ways to cheat or circumvent the rules set down, or else I do/don't do the Thing anyway, feel really guilty about doing/not doing the Thing, and then the guilt pushes me to start conspicuously avoiding the person, which causes me to feel more guilty which causes me to do/not do the Thing more and avoid the person more, which causes me to feel more guilty, etc.

 

[rah]

I guess each person has to find what works best for themselves.
Trying is better than not.

 

[Phrossack]

Hmm...

1. Lose maybe 10 pounds by, say, mid-year
2. Do regular pushups, pullups, leg lifts, and stretches
3. Get around to decorating my place
4. Finish my reading backlog
5. Read some German books and articles regularly
6. Translate each word of said books and articles and write them down so I remember the new vocab
7. Resume learning French, Russian, Welsh, or some combination of these
8. Get around to using eye drops for these dry eyes
9. Train my pup better so walks aren't an ordeal

 

[Kyriakos]

I need to return to mining new ways of narrative and hiding the undercurrent of the story so as to achieve an ominous dream like effect. Also seperate my translating slave-wage work from actual creative writing.
Ussually in order to write, one has to read, so i am returning to that.
Maybe not focus on vagabonds playing in the mud, as if that means it is good to simply crawl along in this world.
Problem is that one always moves in corridors made of impressions, and any goal is itself at best a revelation that it was something different.
Still, the underground river flows eternally. If you arrive there with a boat it cannot but lead you to its source.

Or i can just keep posting on cfc about brexit. Like robert walser said: 'a good citizen should just eat his chicken and be done with it'. Well, he had decades to just eat chicken in the mental house.

 

[yung.carl.jung]

^when even your CFC posts are this prosaic, you know that's one thing you don't have to worry about!

I just finished one big part of my uni project, which is a short (3 mins ca) radio feature about the GDR, mine specifically deals with how the GDR is kept in memory. I had a lengthy interview with a fascinating woman who collected, in the span of 30 years, more than 2 moving trucks full of memorabilia and everyday consumables from the GDR and exhibited them herself. she has now passed her collection onto the GDR museum in Berlin.

my narrative deals with the ambiguity or "living history", nostalgia, and whitewashing of the GDR regime, and how to not fall into that trap. Almost everything besides the cutting and putting together is finished and I'm a little proud.

also, I've kept up with my exercise plan even though I am busy. still would like to do more cardio, but I haven't missed a single weight lifting session. also haven't had a fallback wrt smoking nor snacking! Iron Will thread is proving pretty effective

hope y'all are doing great in your own endeavors!

 

[yung.carl.jung]

Hey @Phrossack and @MaryKB how is your diet going? I've lost roughly 5 pounds since last Sunday and am in awe at the speed of which IM fasting changes your entire metabolism. I have no hunger attacks anymore. I have no desire to snack anymore. I don't crave junk or sweets as often anymore (aside from softs, that seems to be hard wired but I'm drinking mostly diet coke and club mate)

I don't eat breakfast nor lunch anymore. I have one big brunch at around 1PM. I dress the table up nicely, do a charcuterie plate, an assortment of cheeses, different breads and baked goods, cucumber and tomatoes with homemade garlic oil, some microgreens I grow myself, and brew up two different eas, a black one and a wildcard tea depending on what I feel like. I eat very slowly and deliberately, I take at least an hour. If I don't have time because of job/uni I just skip the meal altogether and eat something on the way, then have an opulent dinner. I feel like this sort of ritualization of the eating process is really important and has gotten lost, which is a shame. I don't read nor listen to anything while having my meals, I just talk to my girlfriend. It's "family time".

Haven't smoked yet, haven't missed a single workout (though I did miss some cardio. I walk around a lot, but don't do enough jogging!)

Also, I have roughly 80 bucks worth of cheese in my fridge at this point. I don't know what that says about me as a person - and whether or not that's a good thing, the realization just hit me..

I guess each person has to find what works best for themselves.
Trying is better than not.

Your post had really gotten me thinking and I want to expand on what I wrote earlier:

When I was in my teens I thought self-improvement for the sake of myself was the goal to happiness and a better life. Then, as I already posted, I felt that this was merely vanity, that it was the wrong motivation, and I came to the conclusion that self-improvement for the sake of all those around me, those I love, really is the true way.

Now, a few years later, I have once again changed my mind. Today I only really do things for the sake of them. And everything just flows. Motivating oneself is suddenly so much easier. I don't have to "convince" myself, it just happens. Consider this example:

First, I played games because I enjoyed playing games. I liked the escapism, getting lost, the immersion.
Then I used to play games because I liked to win. I played in order to win.
Then I started playing games solely to improve, reflect, and then improve again. I did not care about winning anymore, but rather the process of growth within me.
Then I thought playing games made me grow as a person. I played for the sake of others, for a supposed "benefit".
And lastly, now, I play for the sake of playing. Not for enjoyment, that is a different reason, the playing itself is the reason. I play because I want to play. In German you call this Selbstzweck. In France there was a movement: L'art pour l'art: Art for arts' sake. I think they had the right idea. Enjoyment automatically comes with the activity. But enjoyment is not the reward, there is no reward. I do what I feel like, the motivation comes entirely from within, not from some external goal. This reflects a change in my thought that I cannot really put into words, hopefully my example with playing games made some sense!

 

[MaryKB]

I'm doing very well with my partial vegetarianism, I still haven't had any beef or pork!

Sadly I was making a lot of chocolate fudge this weekend ... and I ate some. Normally I don't like chocolate, and it makes me sick, but I kept eating small squares spread out, and I had a lot of pancakes on Sunday morning (with lots of butter and maple syrup). Well, I gained a pound back over my long weekend, so I'm feeling really down on myself. I also couldn't find whole wheat bagel thins at my market when I went shopping Saturday morning, so I had to get plain ones - I don't think those are quite as good for me as my usual whole wheat.

I don't fully understand your gaming example. I'm still at my point where I play for escapism and fun, for me games are entertainment, I love the stories. If I'm not enjoying them I don't play, I'll read a book or something instead.

 

[civvver]

I'm staying positive about wallowing in my selfish immorality trying to raise children.

 

[yung.carl.jung]

I'm staying positive about wallowing in my selfish immorality trying to raise children.

that's nice to hear! seems like some comments on here have really made you think, otherwise I doubt this topic would still even be on your mind, nor would you be posting in a completely unrelated thread with this kind of attitude challenging the paradigm, no matter whether the objections raised turn out to be true or not, is of value in and of itself, otherwise we as a society will stagnate, and what's worse than that? so, good for you!

I'm doing very well with my partial vegetarianism, I still haven't had any beef or pork!

Sadly I was making a lot of chocolate fudge this weekend ... and I ate some. Normally I don't like chocolate, and it makes me sick, but I kept eating small squares spread out, and I had a lot of pancakes on Sunday morning (with lots of butter and maple syrup). Well, I gained a pound back over my long weekend, so I'm feeling really down on myself. I also couldn't find whole wheat bagel thins at my market when I went shopping Saturday morning, so I had to get plain ones - I don't think those are quite as good for me as my usual whole wheat.

I don't fully understand your gaming example. I'm still at my point where I play for escapism and fun, for me games are entertainment, I love the stories. If I'm not enjoying them I don't play, I'll read a book or something instead.

I don't mean to say that my way of viewing activities is superior, or that it's something you "develop into", I was just trying to give a genealogy of my gripe with self-imrpovement

maybe I could have said it more clearly:

1 self improvement for personal benefit
2 self improvement for the benefit of people around me
3 self improvement for the sake of self improvement

or, to go with the gaming example:

1 gaming as escapism
2 gaming as competition
3 gaming as self improvement and reflection
4 gaming for gaming's sake

 

[MaryKB]

Oh I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to sound like I thought you're being judgemental, I just don't understand really about gaming for gaming's sake, I was hoping you could explain more what you mean? I sort of just meant I'm having difficulty seeing beyond gaming for fun or as a past time, and I meant I've never experienced any of those other areas you've talked about, but I'm very interested in learning more about your journey and how you feel you've changed.

 

[civvver]

I don't know how you subsist on just 1000 calories, but whatever works for you. I found a pretty good calorie calculator though if you want to see what your daily needs should be and then you cut from there. You're supposed to cut 20% to lose 0.5-2 lbs a week (depending on if you are little or big).

http://www.acaloriecounter.com/calculator.php

 

[Synobun]

That calorie counter says my TDEE is nearly 1000 calories higher than it actually is. Nope.

 

[yung.carl.jung]

Oh I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to sound like I thought you're being judgemental, I just don't understand really about gaming for gaming's sake, I was hoping you could explain more what you mean? I sort of just meant I'm having difficulty seeing beyond gaming for fun or as a past time, and I meant I've never experienced any of those other areas you've talked about, but I'm very interested in learning more about your journey and how you feel you've changed.

No problem at all I'll try to explain in simple terms:

Some people want to do bodybuilding, because they want a nice looking body to gain female attention. Gaining female attention is an exterior motive, right? It is this motive that motivates them. They do the activity (bodybuilding) with a concrete goal in mind. I don't really do that anymore - I think it's nice that working out makes me healthier, gives me a toned body and so on, those are great side-effects, but nowadays I work out exclusively because I like working out. Same with video games: I do not play video games anymore because I feel bored, but rather because I value them as just that - being playful. It's very difficult to put into words

I don't know how you subsist on just 1000 calories, but whatever works for you. I found a pretty good calorie calculator though if you want to see what your daily needs should be and then you cut from there. You're supposed to cut 20% to lose 0.5-2 lbs a week (depending on if you are little or big).

http://www.acaloriecounter.com/calculator.php

I dislike counting and strict guidelines. Sometimes I eat 1000, other days maybe 1500, and then on a different day maybe 2500. I don't want calories to dictate when/what I can or cannot eat, which is one of the reasons why I am doing IM fasting. Calories are also a very imperfect measurement since they ignore many contextual things: The time you ate (circadian rhythm is important), your metabolic state while you ingested the food, blood sugar and feeling of fullness and so forth).

If you think subsisting on 1000 calories is hard, then idk what to tell you. Last year I did health fasting for almost an entire week - That means I went 6 full days eating/drinking literally 0 calories. nothing but tea and water. I did not feel tired nor weak nor did I have any problems whatsoever. As the name implies, this is not a weight loss strategy, but improve's ones health through autophagy, lowering bloog sugar and cholesterol (not just temporarily) and other factors. It's great!

 

[MaryKB]

I don't know how you subsist on just 1000 calories, but whatever works for you. I found a pretty good calorie calculator though if you want to see what your daily needs should be and then you cut from there. You're supposed to cut 20% to lose 0.5-2 lbs a week (depending on if you are little or big).

http://www.acaloriecounter.com/calculator.php

Mine recommends 1600 calories each day, but that's for maintenance and I want to lose weight. I'm staying under 1,000 most days, like today I had a breakfast sandwich I'm calculating at being under 400 calories, and for dinner I'll have a bowl of steamed broccoli which will be about 60 calories, so my total for today should be under 450. Maybe I'll have a couple clementines later, those are about 35 each, so I can still stay well under my target. Oh yes and I'll have some prunes, maybe 100 calories, so I'm still doing well

@yung.carl.jung oh thank you, I understand a lot what you're saying about bodybuilding, I see what you mean about motives. I guess I was just confused for games, because I struggle to see a difference between playing games for fun or just because you enjoy doing them, to me both of those motives seem very internal? I play computer games because I enjoy playing too, I'm not trying to accomplish anything or really alleviate boredom, they're just fun to play.

 

[civvver]

I dislike counting and strict guidelines. Sometimes I eat 1000, other days maybe 1500, and then on a different day maybe 2500. I don't want calories to dictate when/what I can or cannot eat, which is one of the reasons why I am doing IM fasting. Calories are also a very imperfect measurement since they ignore many contextual things: The time you ate (circadian rhythm is important), your metabolic state while you ingested the food, blood sugar and feeling of fullness and so forth).

If you think subsisting on 1000 calories is hard, then idk what to tell you. Last year I did health fasting for almost an entire week - That means I went 6 full days eating/drinking literally 0 calories. nothing but tea and water. I did not feel tired nor weak nor did I have any problems whatsoever. As the name implies, this is not a weight loss strategy, but improve's ones health through autophagy, lowering bloog sugar and cholesterol (not just temporarily) and other factors. It's great!

Those things affect your feeling of satiety but they have a minuscule effect on your weight.

I don't count calories either, only in retrospect sometimes to make sure that I'm not actually overeating. I just try to eat a variety of fresh foods, lots of vegetables, limit carbs from grains, no added sugar or very little in the form of condiments, and the biggest one is only eat when I'm hungry. If you are eating healthy fats, protein and fiber you will be full before you consume too many calories.

No, I don't think 1000 calories is very much. Take a regular grilled cheese sandwich. Two slices of bread is about 150-200 calories, a tablespoon of butter is about 100, 2 ounces of cheese is about 200. That's about 500 total for one sandwich. You're telling me you could eat one sandwich in the morning and one in the afternoon for all your food the whole day and not feel hungry? It just seems like not very much food unless your a tiny person who gets full off half a sandwich. A very light breakfast of say an egg, a cup of greek yogurt and a cup of strawberries is around 300 cals. I guess you could have that three times but I'd starve.