The Young Turks
- Thread starter constantinople
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Moai_Spammer
Ave, True to Caesar!
with the way things are going it's not going to be massive for long...
CaterpillarKing
Conqueror of Cacoons
CaterpillarKing
Conqueror of Cacoons
constantinople
not Istanbul
GreekAnalyzer
Back from the Dead
- Joined
- May 9, 2013
- Messages
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Crush the arabs
constantinople
not Istanbul
Chapter XIV: Arabian Fights
Newspaper headlines across the Empire spoke of the engagement of an Ottoman business tycoon and the heiress to an industrial fortune, an Arab woman. Sillyman approved of this, primarily because the couple would be living in the Ottoman Empire, and the corporation would become Ottoman. Sillyman spent billions of dollars on the wedding ceremony. When his budget ran out, he dipped into the healthcare and welfare budgets to contribute more. The Arabic king was quite impressed, especially since he was doing this for a woman. But not impressed enough to stop him from hating the Turks.
Spoiler :
Until one year later, when he randomly demanded to be Sillyman's eternal slave. Sillyman was offended that such an inferior culture was demanding to be treated as an equal to the sublime Ottoman state. He was offended so much, he considered going to war. Maybe.
Spoiler :
The Mughal Empire was at war with Arabia, refusing to relinquish control of Al-Qatif. The Mughals were landing forces in Oman and terrorizing the local Bedouins. But Sillyman was perturbed with other issues, like the city of Wahran. Ever since Italy annexed Algeria, the city was cut off from its food supply - farms and the fishing waters near Cezayir. The city was starving and Sillyman couldn't stand to see his people suffer. When he's not the one causing the pain.
Spoiler :
It was brought to the Empire's attention that Germany was involved in the war with the Arabs, and on the verge of conquering Jerusalem. With Prussia once again sharing interests with the Ottomans, Sillyman decided to declare war on the Arabs. But he did it in the most classy way possible. When King Saladin of Arabia woke up, there was a decapitated camel head in his bed.
Spoiler :
Although the Ottomans were behind technologically, they were the second nation to complete the Manhattan Project, commonly known as the Ottomanhattan Project. They would need it in the future, but especially now. Sillyman had started a world war. Again.
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Sillyman's main objective war to take the city of Jerusalem, which was stupidly named Al-Quds again. Seriously, what is a qud?
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One of the nations the Empire was fighting was Ethiopia. Sillyman transported most of the airforce to Egypt for bombing raids.
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The remaining planes were to stay and bomb Al-Qatif, as a Persian regiment was waiting outside of the city.
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In Baghdad, the Ottomans started working on a new weapon known as the ICBM. It had the power to destroy an entire planet! (If used irresponsibly)
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America, loving war and carnage, proposed signing an alliance with Sillyman. He agreed, but was secretly planning on going to war with America to reduce their power.
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Mecca fell to Germany in 1958, and their soldiers were conspiring to kill the king and take Sana. The situation was rather unclear with Al-Qatif, as Iranian and Mughal diplomats were disputing over who should get the city. The Ottomans obviously supported their vassal, but the Mughals had more first world powers backing them up and dreamed of creating a colonial empire in Arabia.
Spoiler :
In 1960, Persian soldiers swooped through Mesopotamia and conquered the city. The Ottomans once again asserted dominance over the northern portion of the Arabian Peninsula. They were still upset about Germany's imperialism, but Sillyman was pretty guilty of that and he couldn't ever win an argument with a panzer.
Spoiler :
The Arabian Kingdom collapsed in 1962 when German soldiers marched into Sana in goosestep. Arabia was divided by four countries. Sillyman was content only controlling the north, as the south was generally more unstable and desert-y. When he traveled to the desert, he always mandated he visit sites and cities that are within ten miles of a casino. Besides, Germany and Mughals weren't the threat. The real threat were those spaghetti-eating Italians!
Spoiler :
Moai_Spammer
Ave, True to Caesar!
mama mia that's one-a spicy cliffhanger!
CaterpillarKing
Conqueror of Cacoons
You should serve the Italians a good helping of loser-agna.
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Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk
mrrandomplayer
Hopeless Situation Warrior
Mi dispiace non ti piacciono gli italiani.
CaterpillarKing
Conqueror of Cacoons
Something like displace the Italians?
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Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk
mrrandomplayer
Hopeless Situation Warrior
That was a typo.
GreekAnalyzer
Back from the Dead
- Joined
- May 9, 2013
- Messages
- 1,936
Necate omnia Italias!
Manuss
Sleeping man
Nope. That means: "I'm sorry, you don't like italians".
CaterpillarKing
Conqueror of Cacoons
That makes a lot more sense thank you.
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Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk
Oh, NOW you join anti- Italy party! I don't trust you for a minute, you secret Italian!
CaterpillarKing
Conqueror of Cacoons
I'm going to serve Sillyman a spaghetti with a side of treason *twiddles glorious moustache
constantinople
not Istanbul
Sorry for the lack of updates. I was sick for a week and I've been busy with online classes.
Chapter XV: Here Today, Gone Tomato
Chapter XV: Here Today, Gone Tomato
So Sillyman continued the war with Ethiopia, bombing everything that could be bombed. When the air force ran out of lead bombs, they resorted to shoveling sand into the bombers' compartments and releasing it above Ethiopian cities. The number of shoes filled with sand and pebbles were indescribable, the average Ethiopian couldn't walk five feet without having to take of his shoe and shake the sand out. Naturally, stress and depression levels skyrocketed.
Spoiler :
In the year 1968, the ICBM was completed. Apart from having an acronym no one could define, this was a unique invention in warfare. Sillyman decided to save it for future use. The weapon was slender and pointy, some of Sillyman's favorite characteristics, and guided by a light on top known as a Rudolph. Sillyman ordered a mass production of these WMDs, weapons of moderate dilemma. Fast food restaurants stopped production of soy burgers (Muslims don't eat beef, silly) to construct WMDs. Sillyman was rather shocked when he heard they had access to products involved in the creation of ICBMs, but then he remembered the last burger he eat was glowing a darker shade of green than last time.
Spoiler :
Americans conquered Mombasa in 1968. Although Kenyans were now technically US citizens, Republicans would deny this for over 40 years...
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Ottoman merchants came across a great economic strategy. If bankers charged one billion percent interest, they could make a giant profit. This idea was put into play in banks all over the Empire.
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♫ Where can you find pirates? Not off the coast of Somalia because the Americans killed them all! ♫
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Sillyman forgot he was still at war with the backwater of the planet, the Mongols. Ottoman fighters were flying to go on a picnic in Iranian oil fields when Mongolian "My Little Keshik" planes swooped out of no where and began shooting the dirt and sand on the ground. Actually, they were probably trying to shoot Ottoman and oil wells, but they were such bad aim so who could tell? Fortunately, they weren't able to shoot any oil fields, but when the Ottomans shot down the planes... Occasionally they crashed into an oil pool. Occasionally. Needless to say, Iranian oil production went down that year.
Spoiler :
The Ottoman Empire was declared the second most cultured empire in the world. They were behind the once mogul Mughals and ahead of the United Socialist States of America, ruled by an infamous Kenyan immigrant...
Spoiler :
Sillyman received a red card one fine January eve and it was obvious what was about to happen. An international congress. Sillyman decided to go, although he knew the Italians would bribe everyone to vote for their desires. But Sillyman brought with him a remote with one red button just in case anything was to go awry...
Spoiler :
By 1973, the Mongols agreed to sign a treaty with the Ottomans. Neither side really want to fight the other. And Khan^3 was a pretty cool guy. (Get it?)
Spoiler :
Espionage reached in all time high as Ottoman cultural items were smuggled into Krakow such as onions, magic carpets, and extreme poverty.
Spoiler :
And so began the Congress of Ishafan. Sillyman smiled. What could possibly go wrong?
Spoiler :
Sillyman lost it. He screamed about how Italian pizza sucked and they could even construct a building perpendicular to the ground. He caressed the red button he held under the table. Soon enough, soon enough... But the city would not be ceded to Italy.
The one good thing that came out of the congress was Stalin was denied Trabzon. Between Ottoman and Russian oppression, the world decided the former was the best option.
The one good thing that came out of the congress was Stalin was denied Trabzon. Between Ottoman and Russian oppression, the world decided the former was the best option.
Spoiler :
In fact, even Iranian oppression was better than Russian oppression.
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Of course, the Ottomans didn't get their unpronounceable city back. Oh well. Sillyman smiled.
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"Cavour?" he asked, "I really hope you'll reconsider."
"Ha!" he scoffed, as he devoured spaghetti with one hand and poured vino cotto on himself with the other. "In your dreams! And in my nightmares."
"Then I'm afraid this is but a nightmare of yours or a dream of mine. Maybe you'll wake up when my nuclear warhead mauls your city!"
"Ha!" he scoffed, as he devoured spaghetti with one hand and poured vino cotto on himself with the other. "In your dreams! And in my nightmares."
"Then I'm afraid this is but a nightmare of yours or a dream of mine. Maybe you'll wake up when my nuclear warhead mauls your city!"
Spoiler :
