Life expectancy in the USA is like 78 years, Sweden is 82. Life expectancy is lower here due to a mixture of things, most involving poverty, opium, and cocaine, which is ultimately one category, and as a long tail brings down the mean. The median life expectancy in the USA is about 83. And once you get to the salaries of an engineer here, it's more like 85.
All the SWE is basically done in rich states, which isn't a coincidence on both ends of the cause and effect, and is most pronounced in the metro I live in. The safety net here is pretty solid. As I said I get high quality free healthcare (no payments at all, short waits, vision, dental, and mental included). I can get food assistance, unemployment checks, free/subsidized schooling that comes with living expense help, etc.
As for grueling 10 hour days in the office, I'm at work right now, in my house, with nothing to do but watch training videos and practice on personal projects with almost no oversight. Most companies are remote or hybrid (four days in office every two weeks), and the hours go way down in time. One of my fellow bootcamp mates has been working backend, remotely, about 15 hours a week, getting over 100k, and is now swole, I mean ripped, with all his gym time.
Your serious doubts about how the industry work are skwed. In your early years you are expected, and even preferred, to move around. This is one ecosystem and everyone wants the talent pool to be better, which exposure to different companies provides. So companies hope you jumped around before you end up with them; they hope they can get you to stay, which they do by offering stock on top of salary that takes a couple years to lock in.
This means you're getting paid even more. On levels.fyi, median total compensation here is over $230,000, with above 90th percentile at over $440,000. That means that over 10% of engineers here are making almost or over half a million per year. However, average entry level TC is around $120,000.
Over half of the 350,000 engineers here half under 5 years experience, and the numbers are that high.
My question about how much you're willing to spend was based on the assumption you're making $60k with 6 weeks vacation comparing against a $90k salary with 2 weeks of vacation, and let's be real, showing how it's better. But if you want a more realistic comparison it can be $120,000 with 4 weeks, which is putting your daily extra vacation time-cost at $6000 instead of $2000.
When it comes to cost of living, it doesn't scale linearly. But cost of living in SF is almost double Stockholm, with about 75% of that difference coming from rent prices. So that's going to keep entry level more similar, but once you scale to having a few years of experience, the housing premium levels off, and the USA compensation is leagues ahead... and that's when our lower marginal taxes really kick in as well.
No one is calling you or Sweden poor, but yes you should be fighting for a fair wage and no you aren't getting one. But I acknowledge your life might be good enough that it's alright.