Monty Python and the Holy Grail;
"I don't want to talk to you, no more, you empty-headed animal, food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. You mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries." - French solider.
Sir Lancelot: "We were in the nick of time. You were in great peril."
Sir Galahad: "I don't think I was."
Sir Lancelot: "You were, Sir Galahad. You were in terrible peril."
Sir Galahad: "Look, let me go back in there and face the peril."
Sir Lancelot: "No, it's too perilous."
King Arthur: "Now stand aside, worthy adversary."
The Black Knight: "'Tis but a scratch."
King Arthur: "A scratch?! Your arm's off."
The Black Knight: "No it isn't."
King Arthur: "Then what's that then."
The Black Knight: "I've had worse."
Dennis: "Help! Help! I'm being repressed! Come see the violence inherent in the system! Violence inherent in the system!"
Arthur: "I am your king!"
Woman: "Well I didn't vote for you!"
Arthur: "You don't vote for kings."
Woman: "Well how'd you become king then?"
[Angelic music plays...]
Arthur: "The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king!"
Dennis: [interrupting] "Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government! Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!"
The Old Man from Scene 24: "What is your name?"
Sir Lancelot: "My name is Sir Lancelot of Camelot."
The Old Man from Scene 24: "What is your quest?"
Sir Lancelot: "To seek the Holy Grail."
The Old Man from Scene 24: "What is your favorite colour?"
Sir Lancelot: "Blue."
The Old Man from Scene 24: "Right, off you go."
King of Swamp Castle: "This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who."
The Dead Collector: Bring out yer dead!
A man puts a body on the cart.
Large Man with Dead Body: Here's one.
The Dead Collector: That'll be ninepence.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm not dead!
The Dead Collector: What?
Large Man with Dead Body: Nothing. There's your ninepence.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm not dead!
The Dead Collector: 'Ere, he says he's not dead.
Large Man with Dead Body: Yes he is.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm not!
The Dead Collector: He isn't.
Large Man with Dead Body: Well, he will be soon, he's very ill.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm getting better!
Large Man with Dead Body: No you're not, you'll be stone dead in a moment.
The Dead Collector: Well, I can't take him like that. It's against regulations.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I don't want to go on the cart!
Large Man with Dead Body: Oh, don't be such a baby.
The Dead Collector: I can't take him.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I feel fine!
Large Man with Dead Body: Oh, do me a favor.
The Dead Collector: I can't!
Large Man with Dead Body: Well, can you hang around for a couple of minutes? He won't be long.
The Dead Collector: I promised I'd be at the Robinsons'. They've lost nine today.
Large Man with Dead Body: Well, when's your next round?
The Dead Collector: Thursday.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I think I'll go for a walk!
Large Man with Dead Body: You're not fooling anyone, you know. Isn't there anything you could do?
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I feel happy! I feel happy!
The Dead Collector glances up and down the street furtively, then silences the Body with his a whack of his club.
Large Man with Dead Body: Ah, thank you very much.
The Dead Collector: Not at all. See you on Thursday.
Large Man with Dead Body: Right.
and finally...
"Ni!"
