Would you spank your child?

[TheLastOne36]

I waited in the car for my parents from age six or so.

Anyway, if they want to wait in the car let them. Mostly kids flip out cause they're parents try to force them to do things against their will. I'll be smart enough to pick my battles.


Um, jailtime for having the kid wait in the car?

Against there will? There pissed of because they are bored in a mall watching their parents shop for clothing! They are going to throw a fit and gladly choose the car.

Yes, i'm pretty sure having a small kid in a car alone is illegal, just like it is with pets.

 

[Ulyaoth]

Um, jailtime for having the kid wait in the car?

You didn't hear the news about the couple of mothers arrested recently for leaving kids alone in the car while they were shopping? Granted, one case was with autistic children but the others IIRC were normal children, in one case I think the kid was 12 or something and still the mother was arrested for child neglect or reckless endangerment or whatever it is.

 

[TheLastOne36]

There are a million ways to deal with it without acting like a kid yourself.

What my parents would do with me is say 'When your coming back home you don't have any -whatever-' Whatever being the equivalent to nowadays xbox playstation or computer or whatever. If i still misbehaved, my dad will bring me to a corner of the clothing store with no people around and show me the belt and swear at me in Polish (which at the time i did not know) At that point i would know that i screwed up big time, and i'm grounded for easily a week.

It worked very well on me and likely other kids.

 

[Narz]

Nowhere did I say I'm against restraining a kid who's trying to hurt themselves or others or damaging property. It's not hard to restrain a child. Yanking them around by their arm (or ear) is just being a needless dick about it.

If there are laws about 12 year olds waiting in the car for their parents I guess my parents were major criminals. Personally I didn't mind it.

 

[TheLastOne36]

Nowhere did I say I'm against restraining a kid who's trying to hurt themselves or others or damaging property. It's not hard to restrain a child. Yanking them around by their arm (or ear) is just being a needless dick about it.

I prefer the hair.

 

[Narz]

What my parents would do with me is say 'When your coming back home you don't have any -whatever-' Whatever being the equivalent to nowadays xbox playstation or computer or whatever.

My mom would steal my computer keyboard so I couldn't use my computer. But I knew where she hid it so I'd just dig it out & put it back where it was hidden while she was at home.

 

[Rashiminos]

I prefer the hair.

I would grab (shoulder, arm, waist), but not pull. That is for them to decide. Hair seems a bit inappropriate (strains the neck most likely).

 

[Ulyaoth]

My mom would steal my computer keyboard so I couldn't use my computer. But I knew where she hid it so I'd just dig it out & put it back where it was hidden while she was at home.

That only ever happened once to me that my parents made me stop doing something. My dad uninstalled all the games on my computer and took all the game cds from me and hid them. Like really hid them, he put them in our storage unit.

 

[LucyDuke]

She's one year old. The "naughtiest" thing she did was probably refuse to give me back an object I handed her when I held my hand out. A nice backhand to the face & she immediately dropped it however!

Note : clearly I am not serious.

She loves throwing stuff down off a great height (like a high-chair) in various directions & watching me pick it up. I don't consider this at all naughty & actually enjoy playing this game with her (I even keep score, anytime she throws it fast enough & at a angle I don't predict & it hits that ground she gets a point, if I manage to predict & catch it I get one. (she's not being "bad", she's learning about gravity, if I was hitting her I'm not sure what she'd be learning)

So she hasn't really done anything to require much discipline, has she?

I don't understand why all the spank victims renounce belts? Are you just trying to sound PC?

I remember being spanked once, without a belt. It has absolutely zero bearing on my anticipating smacking my offspring.

A belt is excessive. You can smack a kid without a belt. I'm not looking to leave bruises or anything, I'm not planning a damn tables ladders and chairs match with my progeny. Nothing PC about it.

I don't see anything funny about it actually. It's particularly disturbing that many folks here are actually planning years in advance to hit their kids.

It's an option. If the kid never earns it, it'll never happen. If the kid earns it, I'm ready already.

Are you denying that spanking is ritualistic beating?

Since spanking isn't beating, yeah, spanking isn't [x] beating.

So you fantasize about beating other people's kids? Have you seen any sort of consuler about this?

If you've never felt an urge to smack an urchin that wouldn't stop screaming about chewing gum in a public place, you're lying.

Why not figure out why they are throwing the fit in the first place & get to the root of the problem?

The root of the problem is that small kids' brains don't work the way adults' brains do. They have fits because they're kids. If the kid can be reasoned with, awesome, if not, you might as well read a poem to a horse.

 

[achilleszero]

My mom would steal my computer keyboard so I couldn't use my computer. But I knew where she hid it so I'd just dig it out & put it back where it was hidden while she was at home.

Apparently reasoning with you as a child wasnt working out, maybe spankings were in order?

 

[Bluemofia]

My parents freaking told me that they are supposed to love my bones, not my flesh. (Implying all beatings so long as no bones are broken is fair game) And I did get my fair share of beatings, and they were mostly deserved. Undeserved ones were when my dad was kinda doing alcohol a bit heavy, and he acted before getting the whole story down, so it's forgivable.

And yes, I think it's a good way to discipline kids. If you don't threaten them with pain and suffering (like one of my brothers, or at least him far less than me), they try to haggle terms that are clearly not supposed to be haggled. And tend to whine a lot more.

 

[Zebra 9]

My mom would steal my computer keyboard so I couldn't use my computer. But I knew where she hid it so I'd just dig it out & put it back where it was hidden while she was at home.

So "alternative methods of discipline" taught you to steal (take something you are not supposed to have)?

 

[Akka]

Seriously, when I read such absurdities as "spanking = abuse and beating", I'm /facepalming.
Get a grab on common sense, people, and stop with the amalgam stupidity.

 

[Bill3000]

Seriously, when I read such absurdities as "spanking = abuse and beating", I'm /facepalming.
Get a grab on common sense, people, and stop with the amalgam stupidity.

It's common sense that it is abuse in 19 European countries.

 

[Hygro]

Doesn't exist when kids aren't ever disciplined.

You're equating not hitting children with not providing appropriate discipline. Either you're so off base you'll see your error, or you have simply changed the subject. Which is it?

My parents freaking told me that they are supposed to love my bones, not my flesh. (Implying all beatings so long as no bones are broken is fair game) And I did get my fair share of beatings, and they were mostly deserved. Undeserved ones were when my dad was kinda doing alcohol a bit heavy, and he acted before getting the whole story down, so it's forgivable.

And yes, I think it's a good way to discipline kids. If you don't threaten them with pain and suffering (like one of my brothers, or at least him far less than me), they try to haggle terms that are clearly not supposed to be haggled. And tend to whine a lot more.

Forgivable in the sense that he's your only father and we should all be able to forgive, yes. Forgivable in the sense that it's ok to get drunk around your kids and then enable your violent side despite fairness and reason? Good lord.

 

[MobBoss]

It's common sense that it is abuse in 19 European countries.

Trust me...thats not common sense.

 

[Hygro]

Like that is going to work. The problem is the child most likely wants attention, and if not that, wants something they saw on the shelf like a toy or ice cream of whatever.

As for the Italics, why not?

You know what's hilarious? My mother always took the time to explain things to me logically when I was a child. She had that kind of patience. So then my teachers and other adults were often impressed with how mature I was as a young child in most respects, and how considerate I was of things and people.

Your child will rise to your expectations. Assume its a whiny, unintelligent, short-sighted brat and that's the paradigm the kid will know, and therefore act out. Obviously developmental issues get in the way of treating the kid like an adult, but if you communicate in a way the kid will understand, than your child will have a clear understanding of right and wrong, will exhibit genuine respectfulness, and will trust you as the parent to be fair, such that in many points of the kid's life (read, any childhood age not developmentally designed to pre-render a "no" or rebellious response, which is most ages, especially the middle/older teenage years and the elementary school years) they will take your word to be final, not out of fear or because of your authority as overlord, but out of respect and understanding of your authority as wiser person.

 

[Bluemofia]

Forgivable in the sense that he's your only father and we should all be able to forgive, yes. Forgivable in the sense that it's ok to get drunk around your kids and then enable your violent side despite fairness and reason? Good lord.

No, not ok to get drunk and such and whatever. More of the former. He apologized after he got the whole story, but re-affirmed his right to discipline us the way he sees fit. (which, that just made me angry, but whatever, I would be a hypocrite to argue)

 

[MobBoss]

You know what's hilarious? My mother always took the time to explain things to me logically when I was a child. She had that kind of patience. So then my teachers and other adults were often impressed with how mature I was as a young child in most respects, and how considerate I was of things and people.

Your child will rise to your expectations. Assume its a whiny, unintelligent, short-sighted brat and that's the paradigm the kid will know, and therefore act out. Obviously developmental issues get in the way of treating the kid like an adult, but if you communicate in a way the kid will understand, than your child will have a clear understanding of right and wrong, will exhibit genuine respectfulness, and will trust you as the parent to be fair, such that in many points of the kid's life (read, any childhood age not developmentally designed to pre-render a "no" or rebellious response, which is most ages, especially the middle/older teenage years and the elementary school years) they will take your word to be final, not out of fear or because of your authority as overlord, but out of respect and understanding of your authority as wiser person.

This isnt always true. You can still do everything 'right' and have a problem kid.

 

[Yared]

This isnt always true. You can still do everything 'right' and have a problem kid.

That's true; people often underestimate the amount of influence friends can have on your kid.