1. What do you think caused your heterosexuality?
The devil, the world, and my own sinful flesh.
2. When and how did you first decide you were a heterosexual?
Late 80's, early 90's. How is none of your business.
3. Is it possible your heterosexuality is just a phase you may grow out of?
That sounds painful.
4. Is is possible your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of
the same sex?
I am NOT neurotic! I got beaten up all the time in grade school and have a very good reason to fear others of the same sex, thank you very much.
5. Isn't it possible that all you need is a good Gay lover?
That's not how that song goes! It's just "All you need is love".
6. Heterosexuals have histories of failures in Gay relationships. Do you think you may have turned to heterosexuality out of fear of rejection?
Not at all. I've been rejected by plenty of women.
7. If you've never slept with a person of the same sex, how do you know you wouldn't prefer that?
I've never slept with other men because they snore, keeping me awake all night. Also, other guys always insist on taking the top bunk. Annoying, to say the least.
8. If heterosexuality is normal, why are a disproportionate number of mental patients heterosexual?
Maybe they're crazy for each other?
9. To whom have you disclosed your heterosexual tendencies? How did they react?
I disclosed them to my wife. She responded in kind.
10. Your heterosexuality doesn't offend me as long as you don't try to force it on me. Why do you people feel compelled to seduce others into your sexual orientation?
Hey, I'm a person, not a people. Singular can't be plural.
11. If you choose to nurture children, would you want them to be heterosexual, knowing the problems they would face?
My kids are going to take math in school just like everybody else's kids. They can tough it out, just like their old man did.
12. The great majority of child molesters are heterosexuals. Do you really consider it safe to expose your children to heterosexual teachers?
Of course not. I send my kids to school clothed just like every other sensible person.
13. Why do you insist on being so obvious, and making a public spectacle of your heterosexuality? Can't you just be what you are and keep it quiet?
I didn't leave the windows open again, did I?
14. How can you ever hope to become a whole person if you limit yourself to a compulsive, exclusive heterosexual object choice and remain unwilling to explore and develop your normal, natural, healthy, God-given homosexual potential?
My lack of prosthetic devices has convinced me that in fact I already am a whole person.
15. Heterosexuals are noted for assigning themselves and each other to
narrowly restricted, stereotyped sex-roles. Why do you cling to such
unhealthy role-playing?
I just can't stand my bodycount being hampered by the number of spells I can cast per day. I prefer to play as the sword-weilding butt-kicker.
16. Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?
Because that's where the action is.
17. With all the societal support marriage receives, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals?
Because there are many more doghouses than stables.
18. How could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual, considering the menace of overpopulation?
Space colonies.
19. There seem to be very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed with which you might be able to change if you really want to.
Have you considered aversion therapy?
Yes, but as a side effect I wouldn't be able to listen to Beethoven's 9th anymore, the doctors told me.
20. Do heterosexuals hate and/or distrust others of their own sex? Is that what makes them heterosexual?
Didn't you read my answers to #1 and #4?

Fear of men.1. What do you think caused your heterosexuality?
When I first saw tits.2. When and how did you first decide you were a heterosexual?
Possible but unlikely.3. Is it possible your heterosexuality is just a phase you may grow out of?
Extremely possible.4. Is is possible your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of
the same sex?
Is downtown available?5. Isn't it possible that all you need is a good Gay lover?
Nah, men are just scary in general.6. Heterosexuals have histories of failures in Gay relationships. Do you think you may have turned to heterosexuality out of fear of rejection?
Because men are scary.7. If you've never slept with a person of the same sex, how do you know you wouldn't prefer that?
Crazy is more fun.8. If heterosexuality is normal, why are a disproportionate number of mental patients heterosexual?
It's a secret to everyone.9. To whom have you disclosed your heterosexual tendencies? How did they react?
Because they're sexy and I want to do them.10. Your heterosexuality doesn't offend me as long as you don't try to force it on me. Why do you people feel compelled to seduce others into your sexual orientation?
Oh yeah, they deserve to be able to enjoy boobies.11. If you choose to nurture children, would you want them to be heterosexual, knowing the problems they would face?
As long as they're male teachers, there shouldn't be a problem, right?12. The great majority of child molesters are heterosexuals. Do you really consider it safe to expose your children to heterosexual teachers?
But I keep it a secret?13. Why do you insist on being so obvious, and making a public spectacle of your heterosexuality? Can't you just be what you are and keep it quiet?
Does it count to get screwed in the arse by a woman using a strap on?14. How can you ever hope to become a whole person if you limit yourself to a compulsive, exclusive heterosexual object choice and remain unwilling to explore and develop your normal, natural, healthy, God-given homosexual potential?
For fun.15. Heterosexuals are noted for assigning themselves and each other to
narrowly restricted, stereotyped sex-roles. Why do you cling to such
unhealthy role-playing?
Sex is fun.16. Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?
Not enough love, and by love, I mean sex.17. With all the societal support marriage receives, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals?
Eat people.18. How could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual, considering the menace of overpopulation?
Don't want to change, I like tits.19. There seem to be very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed with which you might be able to change if you really want to.
Have you considered aversion therapy?
Yep.20. Do heterosexuals hate and/or distrust others of their own sex? Is that what makes them heterosexual?
Why are people replying to this like it's a real thing![]()

Er, no, that's right, you shouldn't. As a matter of fact, I'm dumbfounded as to why everyone in this thread are replying as if it were a serious questionaire. Think the point went sky high over some peoples' heads.
No, I just consider the questions baitish and poking at my sexuality in an attacking manner.CivGeneral, have you completely missed that the only serious thing about this thread is that those questions are considered fit for homosexuals but apparently not for heterosexuals?
Though I don't relay those questions to gays and lesbians, I just pretty much mind my own business.Good. Then you understand perfectly why it's so offensive for them to be levelled at homosexuals.
