Arranged Marriage

Narz

keeping it real
Joined
Jun 1, 2002
Messages
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Location
Haverhill, UK
What do you think? I wouldn't mind it, extra income, companionship, possibly physical intimacy (hopefully my wife would be attractive). If nothing else, an extra income & someone to split the cable modem bill with.

Supposedly arranged marriages end in divorce far less often than supposedly loving Western marriages.

- Narz :king:
 
Arranged marriage for me: Heeeeeeeell no. But hey, whatever rings your bell. :)
 
Arranged marriage is bad, what if you love somewhere and have to marry another person? Thats not fun. It's as simple as that, thus arranged marriage should be banned.
 
No, my very specific tastes would have made it difficult for an arrianged marriage to work for me. I look for less tangible qualities in women, which I am delighted to have found.
 
How arranged are we talking about here? mail-order brides? Where people see pictures beforehand? Or like what my paternal grandparents went through? Where the first time they saw their would-be-mates was on the wedding day itself?

Of course, I'm personally against this too.
 
If you mean 'arranged' in the sense that your family arranges for you to meet someone who they think is suitable that's one thing, but if the entire wedding is arranged before you've met the person that's another.

I'd suggest you at least meet your prospective spouse before making a final decision to commit yourself.
 
I think this fact can have other explanation: cultures where arranged marriage is usual are much less tolerant towards divorce; and surprisingly great part of the "supposedly loving" Western marriages are based on the man's career and woman's physical attractiveness.
 
The Person said:
No. Arranged marriages should be banned, and forgotten.

Why? At some point it's consensual. Myself I would never agree to it, and I never have to worry about me or any of my loved ones worrying about it, but why restrict something that other cultures do? You can't simply force someone to marry someone else, at some point down the line it must be consensual. At least in this country.
 
Well, I indirectly know a couple of people who had arranged marriages, and it works great. :) From what I remember, they consider it 'normal' because in their culture its not such an alien concept. I believe they consdier it to be more akin to a business arrangement than some sort of idealised love-match. :)
 
Well, one advanatage would be that there's no courtship involved. You know who it is, so there's no hurry, no worry. Of course, if you're not compatible, it would be a terrible waste.

If one was raised with it, and it was the norm of society, then it wouldn't bother me. I wasn't, and it's not, but I find that it's not such a bad thing. Doesn't apply to me, tho, so that's probably why I don't mind it.
 
It depends on the situation.
If two adults decide to get together for companionship or financial reasons and both are happy with a loveless relationship then thats no problem.
On the other hand you have arranged marriges in India for example where young women are forced to marry the son of another family for the benefit of the parents for either financial or social climbing reasons.These women have next to no rights and the police are very reluctant to do anything about it.

I'm not saying it dosent work.There are just many different kinds.
A~
 
They end less often because women have no rights, and so no hope of a decent life if they run away.
 
I'm not really for it, but I don't mind other cultures doing it. From what I hear, relationships that don't start with the couple being head over heals in love with each other, where they more like grow to love each other, are the ones that works best.:) I guess the expectations are less, so there's less disappointement...
 
Arranged marriage ?
/me puke.

This is one of the highest perversion of a nice ideal. Marriage is an official recognition of a state of emotionnal commitment between two persons.
Perverting its meaning to use it as a tool...

Pathetic.
 
Arranged marrigae used to be common in India and often there was a dowry involved and the whole thing was set at a young age. It was techinally a political alliance.
 
I'm all for equality of the sexes - if a filthy rich woman wants to marry me to parade me around as a trophy husband and objectifying me as a mere sex toy in exchange for a huge allimony, I'm all for it!

Seriously, adults should do what they want to do, and shut up about it. If they arrange their children's marriage though... :mad:
 
before we can have a reasonable discussion about this we should define what we mean by arranged. I know of several "meanings" of this word (each of them being practiced)

(a) The parents decided who the boy or the girl should marry and they have no say on it. Heck they do not even know each other or have seen each other till wedding day

(b) The parents introduce the girl and the boy to each other and they talk and meet each other a few times to see if they like each other and then they (i.e. the weddees (is that a word?) ) decide whether they should wed or not

(c) Same as (b) above but the boy gets to decide but the girl does not

(d) Girl meets boy, boy meets girl, they fall in love and the parents "arrange" the marriage by footing the bill since it is a very expensive affair.

(e) Someone has come to misfortune, like a very young widow or a man whose wife has died recently and he is incapable of looking after his children alone. Then the immediate society arranges a marriage between two such individuals who would otherwise not know each other and they marry (with mutual consent) and lead a life.

Now which one are we talking about?
 
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