Ask A Girl IV: Boundless Questions

[Mango Elephant]

Well she would not think I'm being serious.

I'm 14 too, and if she won't think you're serious this either means
1. She's immature and you shouldn't care what she thinks
2. You're personality is one that leads people to believe sarcasm, which is a very bad trait and you should work on improving that
-or-
3. You've misjudged her reaction, which is what I believe is the most likely. Even if she thinks you're kidding, she'll still laugh or smile because that's what you're supposed to do when people try to make a joke, and she'll like you better for it.

Apologise is still what I think is the best way (unless 1. is true) because if 2. is true than you can work on improving your personality. I don't know the full context of the situation, but I've found that generally being honest is the best way to live, and if you're sorry for aggravating her, than appologising would be the most honest thing to do.

 

[Gamemaster77]

I'm 14 too, and if she won't think you're serious this either means
1. She's immature and you shouldn't care what she thinks
2. You're personality is one that leads people to believe sarcasm, which is a very bad trait and you should work on improving that
-or-
3. You've misjudged her reaction, which is what I believe is the most likely. Even if she thinks you're kidding, she'll still laugh or smile because that's what you're supposed to do when people try to make a joke, and she'll like you better for it.

Apologise is still what I think is the best way (unless 1. is true) because if 2. is true than you can work on improving your personality. I don't know the full context of the situation, but I've found that generally being honest is the best way to live, and if you're sorry for aggravating her, than appologising would be the most honest thing to do.

Well two is definitly the reason why. She just doesnt appreciate that which is why I believe she has grown to dislike me. The thing is though its not nasty sarcasm, its just that im always making jokes. Im not like that with everyone, only certain friends of mine. I just have been mistakingly like that with her.

EDIT: And I guess I will try apologizing. She is fairly rational compared to some other emotion filled moody teenage girls. The only problem is I'm not sure where to do it.

 

[Holycannoli]

It'd probably be weird if it was noticeable. Gives an emofag impression if you're not careful. I don't see anything weird about men wearing subtle makeup though.

Oh I forgot to mention that a five o'clock shadow was also recommended.

It was a very small study apparently and even the female host that presented the brief story on it seemed surprised at the eyeliner thing.

 

[civ_king]

I go to a school that is 6-12, one of the 12th graders and one of the eight graders are screwing each other because the eight grader's boyfriend can't deliver. Is the responsible thing to do to report the 12th grader to the cops? (the senior is male and the 8th grader female.)

 

[Narz]

Is the responsible thing to do to report the 12th grader to the cops? (the senior is male and the 8th grader female.)

Not unless you want to ruin the 12th grader's life.

If it's consensual leave it alone.

Although 18 and 13 is a pretty big spread. Maybe you should talk to the girl about it it you're concerned. Or her parents.

 

[Elrohir]

I go to a school that is 6-12, one of the 12th graders and one of the eight graders are screwing each other because the eight grader's boyfriend can't deliver. Is the responsible thing to do to report the 12th grader to the cops? (the senior is male and the 8th grader female.)

I know I'm not a girl -- but seriously, yes, tell someone. She's what, 13? That's really gross. If she were 16 or 17 I'd tell you to leave it alone (That probably wouldn't even be a crime anywhere in the US) but she's not. Seriously, that's messed up. (How is he not getting the crap kicked out of him by his buddies, anyway?)

 

[LucyDuke]

Tell her parents at least. Maybe his too. They'll be a lot more effective in dealing with it than the cops would if both kids decide to deny it. This probably deserves its own thread.

 

[civ_king]

Not unless you want to ruin the 12th grader's life.

If it's consensual leave it alone.

Although 18 and 13 is a pretty big spread. Maybe you should talk to the girl about it it you're concerned. Or her parents.

They are open about it, they do it because "it feels good" though she says "I don't like the bruising around my ass, it makes it hard to walk sometimes)

I know I'm not a girl -- but seriously, yes, tell someone. She's what, 13? That's really gross. If she were 16 or 17 I'd tell you to leave it alone (That probably wouldn't even be a crime anywhere in the US) but she's not. Seriously, that's messed up. (How is he not getting the crap kicked out of him by his buddies, anyway?)

It is California, perversion is open.

She is 14 BTW

Tell her parents at least. Maybe his too. They'll be a lot more effective in dealing with it than the cops would if both kids decide to deny it. This probably deserves its own thread.

I don't know how to contact either set of parents (though in her dad is seriously screwed up).

What makes it worse is he wants to be a child psychologist

 

[Narz]

edit : you answered my question

They are open about it, they do it because "it feels good" though she says "I don't like the bruising around my ass, it makes it hard to walk sometimes)

It is California, perversion is open.

I don't know how to contact either set of parents (though in her case her mom is away and her dad is nut, she takes care of him...)

What makes it worse is he wants to be a child psychologist

Sounds like a bad situation. F-ed up girl with no dad, bruising around her ass... WTH. You should definitely tell someone (CFC doesn't count).

 

[LucyDuke]

Yeah, cops or child services. At the VERY least, school counselor/psychologist/whatever. Somebody needs to say something.

 

[Hygro]

I mean a 17-18 year old shouldn't be getting down with a 14 year old, for sure, but is it really that terrible? I'm thinking if there was a gap between the middle and high schoolers it would create greater social therefore psychological division but this seems a bit minor.

 

[Abaddon]

Its only a 4 year age gap.. not that surprising imo. I'm surprised his mates don't take the piss out of him to the point he stops seeing her!

 

[LucyDuke]

* California Penal Code - Part 1. of crimes and punishments -

o Title 9. of crimes against the person involving sexual assault, and crimes against public decency and good morals

+ Chapter 1. Rape, abduction, carnal abuse of children, and seduction. - Section 261.5.

# (a) Unlawful sexual intercourse is an act of sexual intercourse accomplished with a person who is not the spouse of the perpetrator, if the person is a minor. For the purposes of this section, a "minor" is a person under the age of 18 years and an "adult" is a person who is at least 18 years of age and older.
# (b) Any person who engages in an act of unlawful sexual intercourse with a minor who is not more than three years older or three years younger than the perpetrator, is guilty of a misdemeanor.
# (c) Any person who engages in an act of unlawful sexual intercourse with a minor who is more than three years younger than the perpetrator is guilty of either a misdemeanor or a felony, and shall be punished by imprisonment in a county jail not exceeding one year, or by imprisonment in the state prison.
# (d) Any person 21 years of age or older who engages in an act of unlawful sexual intercourse with a minor who is under 16 years of age is guilty of either a misdemeanor or a felony, and shall be punished by imprisonment in a county jail not exceeding one year, or by imprisonment in the state prison for two, three, or four years.​

So first off it's illegal. He's risking up to a year in jail.

Tier II Offenses, require registration for 25 years and semiannual verification.

* sexual acts with minors age 12-15, 18 U.S.C. 2243(a)
* sexual contact with minors age 12-15, 18 U.S.C. 2244​

And much worse - 25 years on the sex offender registry. He sure as sunrise isn't going to be a child psychologist if that happens.

Teachers are among the groups required by law to report child abuse, which legally this is. Not to mention the possibility that when they sour on each other that she'll go to the police herself. I'm not sure what the statue of limitations is on this, but they'll certainly have broken up by then. (I don't condone this "vengeance" accusation, but it happens.) He's not just slimy, but also idiotic for pursuing this. There's a reason we say jailbait.

She says it feels good, but how much is he pressuring her? My guess is that ass bruises indicate something that doesn't "feel good". Fourteen-year-olds are vulnerable and manipulable to begin with. Throw missing mom and crazy dad into the mix and this girl is easy prey.

Will calling the po ruin his life? Maybe, it hinges on her. But he took the risk.

 

[SuperJay]

A potential legal issue like this really does not belong in a CFC public discussion. If you guys want this thread to stay open, I suggest moving on ASAP.

 

[metatron]

I go to a school that is 6-12, one of the 12th graders and one of the eight graders are screwing each other because the eight grader's boyfriend can't deliver. Is the responsible thing to do to report the 12th grader to the cops? (the senior is male and the 8th grader female.)

Lucy said it: It's technically illegal.

However...
If you succeed in ratting them out the consequences will be dire. You have to make a moral consideration on whether or not you are fine with that. I very much want to suggest that you hardly can.
Just don't do it.*
Stick to the course of talking to the parents. After all they technically have the capacity to simply forbid it (in her case) or use economic pressure to prevent it (in his case). If her parents are unable to care for her well-being and monitor such a situation properly you can consider further action regarding her domestic situation.
As far as the bruises are concerned: It's totally not unusual for young women (and men) to brag about that sort of thing. Plus you don't know if it's true either. That can very well be an embelishment, like as a trash code for "My BF has such an awesome big dick."

*In a club with Egypt, Sudan and Turkey - congratulations!
@Dachs: Yeah, i know, evil bad America bashing. Again. I'm such a bad person for feeling that a bunch of people contemplating to destroy some person with a law based on 19th century religious bigotry only because they feel in their teeny hearts that minors having sex (he's a freakin minor too, no matter what the stupid law says) is gross. I should be ashamed of myself.

A potential legal issue like this really does not belong in a CFC public discussion. If you guys want this thread to stay open, I suggest moving on ASAP.

Have you any idea how little i care?
They're talking about destroying someones life over what could very well turn out to be a total nonissue.
And you suggest i should consider this vanity thread or my infraction score more important?

 

[SuperJay]

Have you any idea how little i care?
They're talking about destroying someones life over what could very well turn out to be a total nonissue. And you suggest i should consider this vanity thread or my infraction score more important?

You're not a moron, stop acting like it by deliberately misinterpreting. Just take it to PMs if you really feel it's important. You're discussing a potential felony sexual assault on a public internet forum, and putting that site in legal jeopardy by doing so.

 

[Narz]

Jay are we really putting the site "in legal jeopardy"?

 

[Mise]

ffs this is "ask a girl" not "talk about paedos"...

 

[LucyDuke]

A potential legal issue like this really does not belong in a CFC public discussion. If you guys want this thread to stay open, I suggest moving on ASAP.

I don't see why not. It does belong in its own thread though.

 

[metatron]

You're not a moron, stop acting like it by deliberately misinterpreting. Just take it to PMs if you really feel it's important. You're discussing a potential felony sexual assault on a public internet forum, and putting that site in legal jeopardy by doing so.

Oh so it's a legal issue and not about the boards decency rules? Ok. If you see it that way they'll have to delete the whole thing including CK's post anyway.

Plus: We - i.e. the board, the user community - don't really know anything. Theoretically CK could have simply made it up, which i consider unlikely, he's not that kind of guy. But that girl he's talking about may very well be overstating the whole thing or plain lying alltogether.
Teenagers claiming to have sex allthough they actually don't. Wow, that would be new!
So effectively you are employing circular logic here: It may very well not be felony sexual assault but one isn't allowed to point that out because it could be. Great.
Closer to my original point: Essentially i said that she might as well be rather mature for her age - caring for ones parent often does that to people - and that this may, possibly, be not any worse than someone age 18 sleeping with someone age 17, which would be illegal, too, i guess.
So you're saying we couldn't debate that either. Talk about people 18+/-1 doing it makes one legally liable.
I guess facebook is in big trouble.

Oh, and thanks for calling me a moron.