Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by hobbsyoyo, Sep 16, 2012.
''Urge... to lecture... rising...'' - Traitorfish
Whenever TF gets cranky, I tend to get entertained.
(compiled by the DRAW Your Own Story team)
"Friends don't let friends vote Tory."
"Can't spell ignorant without IGN."
"Who knows what the OP is about; all I know it that this is CFC, and here, as a thread progresses, the probability of trolling Poland approaches 1."
"Uh hello, greenhouse gas emmissions? You been living under a rock, or just chalking up all the studies on witch-carbon emmissions as junk science? Witches are probably the best known carbon-sink we've got, and people like you want to burn them just because of a few errant curses."
"Only terrorists store their firearms in their carry-ons. Patriotic Americans have their gun with them all the time to defend against the terrorist menace."
"Actually, I always had a question for Sauron: your giant eye peers out across the land, but can you see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch?"
"Really? I thought it was pretty obvious. The stife within the vampire hierarchy represents the power struggle within the Holy Roman Empire's nobles, with the Cullens representing the Hapsburgs (tied between being a vampire, part of the greater German Holy Roman Empire and their own family ie: the Hapsburgs) while the Werewolves clearly represent the Hungarians and other conquered peoples and minorities."
"Also, a helpful hint: it's neither wise nor rational to assume that everyone who disagrees with you is a communist."
"I'm a WWI man myself since I think it was one of the last beautiful wars, with trenches, mustard gas, artillery shock, and mud everywhere. WWII lacked the beauty that WWI. I also don't like the ideological component attatched to WWII, senseless mortality is far more apealing to me."
"We've been over this; you steadfastly continue to believe that opposing criminal activity is politically relevant discourse as opposed to common sense, and I steadfastly continue to think that you're a nincompoop."
"You shouldn't pay much attention to this radical unamerican Maoist and his talk about permanent revolution."
- GoodSarmartian (On Thomas Jefferson)
"It looks like Canada just blue itself"
- warpus (On Canadian election)
"Of course you wouldn't, you're not part of that poor oppressed minority, the straight white middle class Christian male. Only by suffering their endless burdens, by carrying the weighty cross of owning everything, running everything, and generally being the top of whatever pile that you might find yourself in, can you truly understand the depth and horror of this beastly phenomenon."
"Too right. People commit suicide every day, knowing it may be dangerous."
"If at first you don't secede, try, try again."
take a bow contributors and compiler. I had not read a single one of those before. There is some genuinely timeless humor there.
+1 point for Dachs for hauling out the hugely underrated, if not maligned "nincompoop"
Xanikk999: "I no longer find world of warcraft engaging anymore. Are there any new MMO's out or coming out soon that will be good?"
madviking: "I heard "Real Life" is coming out very soon. You might want to try that."
cardgame: "The players who have been playing for generations are so OP though, and the stupid GM is NEVER on, hasn't been for 2,000 years! Sure the graphics and stuff is fine, and the game engine is amazing, but the open-endedness claim is a hoax, since nearly all the fun stuff is either illegal or requires vast sums of money."
choxorn: "And your character is too weak. If I can't shoot fire from my hands and don't have lasers, this game sucks."
cardgame: "Plus you can't even make your own character, you're given some really craptastically weak default character."
"YOU WOULDN'T DOWNLOAD A BEAR"
"Drill Mubarak for oil"
"Put Gaddafi in a skirt, and send him to Berlusconi with a note stating she's a sixteen year old belly dancer."
"The Culture War was a nine-year conflict between Camillo Golgi and Gustav Giemsa and their assorted adherents over control of a vital supply of petri dishes. Golgi won the war and the right to name a folded-looking organelle, which has gone down in history as the Camillo apparatus."
"Generally when you see people sitting on tanks with smiling soldiers, it means the government is doomed..."
"Rasputin got in good with the Romanovs because he healed Nicholas' hermaphrodite son, if my first-semester translation of this Russian text is correct."
Takhisis: "If RL.exe gives you so much trouble, uninstall it and be done with it."
choxorn: "I've heard that that can lead to some serious problems. It might accidentally cause Death.exe to do its thing, and you don't want that."
Arakhor: "Worse, it might trigger the malware known as Unfulfilled/Internet.Addict and then where would you be?"
Takhisis: "Online, of course!"
"Opera is when someone gets stabbed in the back and instead of dying, they sing."
"I just realized I'd been thinking your name was some kind of gibberish."
- Ulyaoth (on my username)
"We're living in Hitler's nightmare: the most powerful man in the world is black, the Germans live by trade, the Jews have an unbeatable military and the Czechs preside over Europe."
"After all, it was a Russian commie who came up with Tetris. It is really evident in the design, where an individual block can never accomplish anything and forming a tight collective is mandatory to success. USA is under a combined symbolic attack. May God help them."
"As far as I'm concerned everyone east of Bonn and south of Munich is a Communist and a Russian. The Poles are Catholic Russias, the Czechs are atheist Russians, the Ukrainians are bad Russians, the Belarossians are pseudo-Russians, the Romanians are Russians who think they're Italian, the Bulgarians wish they were Russians, the Serbs basically are Russians, the Greeks are just communist."
"But less seriously, is Al Qaida going to get co-opted by the Democratic Party in order to institute Wahhabism as the state religion complete with all the bells and whistles?"
"I got heads. What does that mean?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? "
"Don't write off executions just yet, just think of the limitless potential. If we star executing students with the lowest overall grade averages (preferably by sawing), we could see a dramatic increase in test scores by 90%, which will then lead to increased government spending(we'll need to hire someone to carve up the teenagers after all) which it self will lead to new programs (Student discounts on life insurance yeaah) ,parents with obnoxious kids will have lees moths to feed so they now have more money, we can also finally do away with silly things like special education and stupid programs that reward children for behaving(YOUR REWARD IS YOU GET TO LIVE MOFO). Lets above all else not forget that class sizes will also decrease to more manageable sizes after the introduction of capital punishment in our school systems."
- Mad Man
"Not many people know this, but climatologists *are* aware of the sun's existence."
"I am not a cat."
Wooo, I've been mentioned!
Now you've done it! Hobbs is gonna come and get ya now
"I was pointing out he was useless both ways.
I kill things that are useless, john. Guess what that means." Askthepizzaguy.
"You castrated yourself?" johnhughthom.
If only I could be so funny.
Nothing memorable from me.
Oh, but you are, Owen, I'm sure you realize.
classical hero: Candidate number 2 has a pedosmile.
I laughed way too hard at this
110% of anything said by Askthepizzaguy and johnhughthom is hilarious.
Wow, this thread is hilarious. Once you get past the first page. Meh, I've said many funny things in chat, but here...
I WANT TO BE QUOTED, GODDAMMIT!
"I WANT TO BE QUOTED, GODDAMMIT!" ~ JoanK
""I WANT TO BE QUOTED, GODDAMMIT!" ~ JoanK" - Arakhor
Agreed. Clearly we should just tell the mods to delete the entire first page so that we don't hve any non-hilarity.
That, or just edit everything into a post near the OP.
I love this one:
Whoever guesses who that is - gets an internet cookie from Mr Quackers.
Im open for any quotes from me. Other than my classic listerine/listeria mixup.
Separate names with a comma.