Bullies

[Disgustipated]

Let's talk about bullies. CNN has been doing lots of stories on this recently, and you'd think this is a recent phenomenon. I'm sure bullying has been around since the dawn of man. Personally, I don't think there is any way to stop it. And despite ads I hear on the radio, and efforts by CNN, I don't think they can stop it. It's in our human nature. It's how we determine who is at the top of the social ladder, and who is on the bottom.

You'd think I would support efforts to stop bullying as I was bullied myself in elementary and junior high schools (not in high school though). But in a way, I was put in my place too, and I accepted being near the bottom of the social ladder. It isn't the best place to be, but we all can't be top dog. If I hadn't been bullied, I'd probably be an arrogant, conceited prick today. I already am a little bit arrogant and conceited.

What I'd like to see is not efforts to stop bullying, but schools allowing people to stand up to bullies. I think bullies should be beaten down, and it should be acceptable to kick their ass without penalty. I would like to see people stick up for the little guy, and defend someone who needs help. Too many people only care about themselves, and won't stick up for someone being bullied. I'd like to see strong alpha males (and females) stand up to these bullies and pound them down. Because bullies should not be atop the social ladder, the people on top should be the ones who defend the weak. But if no one stops the bullies, they are going to get too full of themselves, and think they can do anything.

What are your thoughts on bullying? I may share stories of my experiences with bullying later. In elementary school it was physical bullying, while in junior high school it was only with words (I was poor, but going to a middle class school). My experiences weren't that bad though, thankfully.

 

[PeteAtoms]

In my experience, bullies were never anywhere close to the top of the social ladder. They were probably in the lower end in fact. Bullies were no where near popular when I was in high school. Bullies typically had about three to five pals they would chum around with, but that was it. No one else wanted anything to do with them.

I definitely think schools should be considerably more lenient on self-defense in the case of bullying incidents.

 

[Kyriakos]

Not sure if there is this kind of direct correlation between being bullied and being less arrogant/conceited. The parameters are endless, so all things can happen.

But i think that most people bullied others due to either of two main reasons (with secondary reasons being, again, endless)

1) They bullied because they felt the other person was potentially a threat, due to the other person's real or perceived by the bully positive qualities. This is analogous to pre-emptive strikes.

2) They bullied because they felt the other person was a threat again, but this time due to the other person's real or perceived by the bully negative qualities. This happened because the bully thought that there is a social ladder (like you mentioned) and that some people must suffer so that it is obvious that such a ladder is in existence. Of course this ladder is just a fabrication, of bullies and those bullied by them, and generally of very young people who are insecure by nature.

 

[Bestbank Tiger]

One thing I noticed about bullies was they were never man enough to fight one on one.

Best way to solve it is to give them a taste of their own medicine, because it's the only language they understand.

 

[downtown]

Too many people only care about themselves, and won't stick up for someone being bullied. I'd like to see strong alpha males (and females) stand up to these bullies and pound them down. Because bullies should not be atop the social ladder, the people on top should be the ones who defend the weak. But if no one stops the bullies, they are going to get too full of themselves, and think they can do anything.

What are your thoughts on bullying? I may share stories of my experiences with bullying later. In elementary school it was physical bullying, while in junior high school it was only with words (I was poor, but going to a middle class school). My experiences weren't that bad though, thankfully.

People with power SHOULD protect the weak, but that doesn't mean physical butt-kicking. Ideally, parents, teachers and administrators should be taking a more proactive role in stamping out and punishing bullying. Smart teachers take bullying into account when giving out punishments, but you can't have physical violence go unpunished, no matter how bad the guy deserves it. You can't beat up your annoying coworker at the office, and if you do it in the bar, it's assault, even if the "other guy deserves it".

 

[Kyriakos]

Moderator Action: Video removed as it contained inappropriate language

Probably would be posted at some point, might as well post it now..

 

[Verarde]

Let's talk about bullies. CNN has been doing lots of stories on this recently, and you'd think this is a recent phenomenon. I'm sure bullying has been around since the dawn of man. Personally, I don't think there is any way to stop it. And despite ads I hear on the radio, and efforts by CNN, I don't think they can stop it. It's in our human nature. It's how we determine who is at the top of the social ladder, and who is on the bottom.

at "you would think this is a recent phenomenon." I agree, bullying has certainly been around since the beginning of time.

You'd think I would support efforts to stop bullying as I was bullied myself in elementary and junior high schools (not in high school though). But in a way, I was put in my place too, and I accepted being near the bottom of the social ladder. It isn't the best place to be, but we all can't be top dog. If I hadn't been bullied, I'd probably be an arrogant, conceited prick today. I already am a little bit arrogant and conceited.

What I'd like to see is not efforts to stop bullying, but schools allowing people to stand up to bullies. I think bullies should be beaten down, and it should be acceptable to kick their ass without penalty. I would like to see people stick up for the little guy, and defend someone who needs help.

Yes, I think that schools should allow standing up, but not in an overtly violent way. Only if the bully is being violent should violence be done to them.

Too many people only care about themselves, and won't stick up for someone being bullied. I'd like to see strong alpha males (and females) stand up to these bullies and pound them down. Because bullies should not be atop the social ladder, the people on top should be the ones who defend the weak. But if no one stops the bullies, they are going to get too full of themselves, and think they can do anything.

I agree, but not pound them down in a violent manner, as I've said before.

What are your thoughts on bullying? I may share stories of my experiences with bullying later. In elementary school it was physical bullying, while in junior high school it was only with words (I was poor, but going to a middle class school). My experiences weren't that bad though, thankfully.

I've never been physically bullied, and there are relatively few bullies from what I've seen at the local high school, but that might just be due to where I live. When I went to elementary school, I was kind of an outcast, but I think I made myself that way by kinda being stupid and sometimes annoying.

I think bullying is wrong, and should be stopped.

 

[Artifis]

What I'd like to see is not efforts to stop bullying, but schools allowing people to stand up to bullies. I think bullies should be beaten down, and it should be acceptable to kick their ass without penalty. I would like to see people stick up for the little guy, and defend someone who needs help. Too many people only care about themselves, and won't stick up for someone being bullied. I'd like to see strong alpha males (and females) stand up to these bullies and pound them down. Because bullies should not be atop the social ladder, the people on top should be the ones who defend the weak. But if no one stops the bullies, they are going to get too full of themselves, and think they can do anything.

This is a very slippery slope. Where does one cross the line with the anti-bullying? Also, what you seem to miss out on is that the people who are bullied are usually the ostracised ones without many friends. Those who are not loners and who have a good bunch of friends will find themselves much less prone to bullying. This is why you don't see the strong alpha males (and females) standing up for the bullied, because they don't care enough.

And if you wanted to make them care enough, how would you do so? Encourage them to fight back? You're trying to encourage good social behaviour, which should be applauded, but you're entering very grey territory. It's almost like a situation where a bystander watches a thief steal a lady's purse and does nothing. Is he being socially irresponsible? Not necessarily. It's not illegal to be a bystander, he may get into more trouble than he would've liked, and who says that he has to get himself involved in other people's lives when he has his own to live?

Another related point: The bullies tend to be the alpha males.

What are your thoughts on bullying? I may share stories of my experiences with bullying later. In elementary school it was physical bullying, while in junior high school it was only with words (I was poor, but going to a middle class school). My experiences weren't that bad though, thankfully.

Here's another thing about bullying. In my opinion the bullies are the ones who project their own insecurities upon others by overt shows of violence. In that sense they are also victims. So despite the repugnance of their behaviour, one should keep this in mind. As such, I think bullies need to be counselled as much as the bullied, if not even more.

Moderator Action: Video removed as it contained inappropriate language

Probably would be posted at some point, might as well post it now..

What was disgusting about this incident was that the boy was punished for body slamming the bully.

 

[Dachs]

I recommend people who have bully problems become tall. Being tall has worked wonders for me - nary a bullying incident in memory.

 

[GenMarshall]

I was harshly bullied in middle school and it has caused significant damage to my psyche. It made me more of a loner and tend to be more cautious with people I domt know as well as developing a fear of rejection and fear of the approach when dealing with women.

Bullying should be stopped and no one has the right to have their psyche ripped to shreads. The old saying that words won't hurt me is utterly false. WORDS DO HURT.

If I was not bullied in the past, I would have been more outgoing and more confident socially.

 

[NovaKart]

Let's talk about bullies. CNN has been doing lots of stories on this recently, and you'd think this is a recent phenomenon. I'm sure bullying has been around since the dawn of man. Personally, I don't think there is any way to stop it. And despite ads I hear on the radio, and efforts by CNN, I don't think they can stop it. It's in our human nature. It's how we determine who is at the top of the social ladder, and who is on the bottom.

You'd think I would support efforts to stop bullying as I was bullied myself in elementary and junior high schools (not in high school though). But in a way, I was put in my place too, and I accepted being near the bottom of the social ladder. It isn't the best place to be, but we all can't be top dog. If I hadn't been bullied, I'd probably be an arrogant, conceited prick today. I already am a little bit arrogant and conceited.

What I'd like to see is not efforts to stop bullying, but schools allowing people to stand up to bullies. I think bullies should be beaten down, and it should be acceptable to kick their ass without penalty. I would like to see people stick up for the little guy, and defend someone who needs help. Too many people only care about themselves, and won't stick up for someone being bullied. I'd like to see strong alpha males (and females) stand up to these bullies and pound them down. Because bullies should not be atop the social ladder, the people on top should be the ones who defend the weak. But if no one stops the bullies, they are going to get too full of themselves, and think they can do anything.

What are your thoughts on bullying? I may share stories of my experiences with bullying later. In elementary school it was physical bullying, while in junior high school it was only with words (I was poor, but going to a middle class school). My experiences weren't that bad though, thankfully.

A lot of people can't stand up to bullies, they aren't as strong or they don't have the confidence. Just doing nothing isn't going to help those people. We wouldn't put up with that kind of treatment at work so why should we expect children to? I do agree that you can't totally stop bullying any more than you can completely stop other kinds of crime. We can at least try to find ways to make it better.

 

[Bestbank Tiger]

I agree, but not pound them down in a violent manner, as I've said before.

I agree with this. Physical bullies need to be beaten up. Other types of bullies like cyber bullies should be treated the way they treat others. Kind of like the site that shall not be named did to Jennifer Petkov (the grown woman who taunted a child with cancer).

 

[warpus]

Personally, I don't think there is any way to stop it. And despite ads I hear on the radio, and efforts by CNN, I don't think they can stop it.

There's no way to stop it, but there are ways to put a significant dent in it.

First of all, from my experience, staff, teachers, principals, etc. don't do nearly enough to combat bullies and bullyism. More often than not they will just ignore it when it happens. Why? It doesn't make sense to me. Expel the bully! Send a clear message that this sort of thing won't be tolerated.. But nooo, they usually just let it happen.

Another problem is that the best way to combat bullyism is to fight back when somebody does bully you.. but due to the stupid "0 tolerance" bs they've got going on, most of the time the victim will get punished severely for trying to stand up.

It's a big problem and administration doesn't like to get involved..

 

[NovaKart]

I agree, teachers should do more or whoever is in charge, but just a note, calling it bullyism makes it sound like a philosphy or religion.

 

[Truronian]

Bullying is a very difficult thing to gauge. A given interaction might be friendly banter, a joke, flirting or a serious incident of bullying and it all depends on the two pupils involved. It is extremely difficult to keep track of pupil friendship groups and establish who gets on with who at a school. Cliques at that age are extremely dynamic and the job of teachers is primarily to focus on progressing student's learning. Many incidents of bullying will occur between pupils who have a temperamental relationship and thus are frequently in contact with one another but don't always necessarily get on.

Bullying is never as clear cut as the media likes to portray it. It is however just as serious. Schools put a lot of resources into anti-bullying training, protocols and procedures because any pupil who is concerned about social issues above their work in school is a pupil who is going to see their progress slowed. That a particularly sad thing to see when another pupil (intentionally or otherwise) is causing that shift of focus.

 

[downtown]

First of all, from my experience, staff, teachers, principals, etc. don't do nearly enough to combat bullies and bullyism. More often than not they will just ignore it when it happens. Why? It doesn't make sense to me. Expel the bully! Send a clear message that this sort of thing won't be tolerated.. But nooo, they usually just let it happen.

In the US, it can be pretty difficult for teachers to be really proactive in going after a bully, even though we are supposed to. Schools typically follow a progressive discipline model...so there has to be written documentation about warnings, conferences, suspensions, etc before the real hammer can drop. There are also significant legal obsticles to suspending and expelling students (and there can be good reasons for this, since serious punishment is often disporportionatly given to students of color)....and of course, teachers cannot touch students, even to break up a fight (although I often ignored that rule).

I'm not sure of a good solution, but the responsibility does really lie with the adults in a school...and if rules prevent them from really stamping out the behavior, then those rules need to be changed.

 

[NovaKart]

I was going to mention also that it can be difficult for teachers to deal with bullying but I didn't have the time. Perhaps one option is encouraging students to report it. I have no problem with schools suspending someone who consistently harasses more vulnerable students. It can be a problem though that schools sometimes have a tendency to go psycho with the rules. I heard recently about a student who was suspended for 7 weeks for using an ipod. It's insane. When I was in school even fighting would get 3 days suspension or at the most 2 weeks. Anything more would have to be something really serious like drug or weapon possession.

It's also difficult if there's a group of students bullying someone to single someone out since it could be a problem to just mass punish a group of students.

 

[Tahuti]

It is rather hard to have teachers fight bullying when they are the bully.

 

[nonconformist]

What I'd like to see is not efforts to stop bullying, but schools allowing people to stand up to bullies. I think bullies should be beaten down, and it should be acceptable to kick their ass without penalty. I would like to see people stick up for the little guy, and defend someone who needs help. Too many people only care about themselves, and won't stick up for someone being bullied. I'd like to see strong alpha males (and females) stand up to these bullies and pound them down. Because bullies should not be atop the social ladder, the people on top should be the ones who defend the weak. But if no one stops the bullies, they are going to get too full of themselves, and think they can do anything.

Yeah, as someone once put it (paraphrased) standing up to the real bullies isn't like Hollywood.
You're gonna get your arse kicked by someone who learned to fight against a 200lb drunk abusive stepdad.

 

[PeteAtoms]

Yup, it was SOP for faculty to simply wait for an incident before intervening. They couldn't get involved for their own safety (yeah right) and I'm guessing for liability reasons. Teachers could possibly be sued no matter what they do.

One of my gym teachers did tackle a student (he was the football coach too) pretty hard when he pulled a knife on someone else during gym class.