Civ3 Limericks

[Brewster]

In Future Shop near the back
I saw civ 3 there on the rack
The clerk said with a grin
"What you're about to begin
Is a new form of digital crack."

There are lots of great leaders in civ
Like Toko and Cleo and Liz
There's hammy the hippy
And Xerxes the lippy
And Lincoln and Shaka and Biz.

At first, I'll admit I was green
The AI was nasty and mean
They teamed up and beat me
fully completely (for you Tragically Hip fans)
My poor civ was no longer seen.

No that was was the last time I'm dead
Cause I found Killers newbie thread.
I plotted and schemed
Of civ 3 I dreamed
And now I'm finally ahead.

This is my last post for now
My new city has gems and a cow
I'll be up for a fight
Since I'm playing all night
20 straight hours. Oh WOW!

 

[JollyRoger]

Originally posted by Jimjam Jones
I'm sure Shakespeare, Wordsworth and even Dr. Seuss are all spinning in their graves like jet turbines after you guys have so soiled the fine art of poetic language

Shakespeare, Wordsworth, and Seuss?
With them we'll make no truce
Their spear sharp verse
Our tanked up worse
We're bardbarians on the loose.

 

[Elden]

When Lizzie declared war on me,
It was bad day in Civ Three,
But her tanks were defeated,
My spearmen - Elited,
Her empire now belongs to me!

 

[Sultan Bhargash]

Monarch level- for me it's been tough,
My succession games are proof enough,
I've got plenty defense
But all spearman and hence
These tank divisions are treating them rough!

 

[ivory]

The legionaries were deployed
When Caesar said, very annoyed:
"May Mars be with you,
And Jupiter too.
Carthage must be destoyed!"

 

[Crowpocalyptic1]

There once was a boy from Nantucket...

I think you all know where I'm going, so I'm gonna quit while I'm ahead...

 

[Flak]

Originally posted by Crowpocalyptic1
There once was a boy from Nantucket...

I think you all know where I'm going, so I'm gonna quit while I'm ahead...

Crowpocalyptic1
Go ahead and have some fun
Nantucket's no crime
It's a popular rhyme
Just mention something Civ, and you're done!

 

[Brewster]

Someone was using their head
When they brought back the limmerick thread.
Things were not looking great
When it fell to page eight
And was nearly taken for dead.

Now as I ponder and sit
I feel I have run out of wit
My brain's feeling slow
It's lost all it's go
And I'm starting to sound like a twit.

But I will continue to write
Even if it takes me all night
Of tales of Civ3
And resulting glory
And my militaristic might.


That should tie me over for now.

 

[Elden]

The announcment of the expansion Conquest
Will put my patience to the test
For the Australian release date
Surely will be late
Because of those Atari pests!

 

[ivory]

ivory continues:

From Rome's seven hills and six vallleys
And hundreds of forums and alleys
They came in a riot
- The barracks turned quiet -
And left in their veteran galleys.

Numidian Mercenaries
Awaited them over the seas.
And thanks to their spears
The siege lasted for years,
But Rome brought them down on their knees.

 

[Brewster]

I just found I'd made quite a blunder
As I prebuild for my next great wonder
My defence was weak
More aid did I seek
Shaka, my land he did plunder.

I found that I wasn't too fazed
Not one town of mine was razed
I rebounded fast
And kicked Shaka's a$$
And left him all shaken and dazed.

My armies now rule the land
The AI is mine to command
I'll milk things a bit
Cause I don't want to quit
I think I'll make a demand.

Now that I've evened the score
With Shaka and Xerxzes and more
Give me your gold
That's the last time you're told
Now we're going to war!

 

[Sultan Bhargash]

So Civ III will soon be going gold,
And for some folks, it never gets old-
But rather than play
I write posts here all day-
Now I've got seven thousand, all told!

 

[superslug]

Give a man a fire and he will be warm for a day
Is a signature that causes me much dismay
For mine contains heretical words
A link to a nonCiv site run by nerds
And for that, I must pay!

 

[JollyRoger]

I once ruled a civ based in Nantucket
In an age when my in turn choices did suck a bit
The rash firing of my missile
Tripp-ed off the blowing of a whistle
And my Starr-struck civ kicked the bucket

 

[Taliesin]

There once was a great civ called Babylon,
Whose bowmen could shove all the rabble on.
I made war with Xerxes,
But it didn't quite work-sees,
And now I just ramble and babble on.

 

[trumpeteer]

The Fighters they did look around,
A Spearman defending the town.
I bombarded for days, and sent in my MA's,
And he pounded them into the ground.

 

[trumpeteer]

The Spearman, of course, was elite.
He sure was a tough act to beat.
A hill and a river, a metro makes me quiver,
The sorrowful sounds of defeat.

 

[trumpeteer]

I'm spending my time with Civ3.
v1.21f and me.
I play it by day,
spend nights posting away,
Staying up 'til the morning at 3!

 

[Elden]

Peacemonger PBEM is dead
shows a final check of that thread
at least I didn't lose
now I'll have time to snooze
and get some time away from Civ3 in bed !

 

[trumpeteer]

Time away from CivIII!!! Are you going against my religion?