CivDiplomacy 002 (expert)

[Toasty]

ITALIAN PRESS RELEASE ON THE WAR IN EUROPE
***
As translated from the Rome newspaper Il Manifesto.

Many Italians were shocked today at the news of appearant preparation of war against Italy in France. The building of Armies and fleets as close as possible to the Italian border has significantly hurt the Italians but also allows them time for preparation of war.

Generalissimo Toasty, the head of the Italian military, could not be found for comment.

However, Italy still remains happy with the fortunate events of the fall. "Italy has outperformed her own history," Generalissimo Toasty said at a press conference on November 8th. "In less than 7% of her wars has Italy ever performed so well. The fact that we are able to excel at a rate greater than most of our allies and enemies thought probable will certainly win us praise and the respect we deserve."

Mixed feeling still lie in the country, but the populace is determined to continue and hopefully prevail.

 

[Flatlander Fox]

In celebration of his marriage to wife #23, Sultan Shazaam wishes to proclaim the following decree:

Greek demands that the Gyros with tsaziki be served at his most highness' weddings prompted an annexation of Greece yesterday.

Now only doner kebap will be served in the lower Balkan region.

Russian greediness of the special sauce that graces our doners will NOT BE TOLERATED. The cavemen of the north will not be invited to our next wedding if they continue to be so big and scary.

Italian jealousy of our special sauce is not appreciated either.

The most noble of highnesses Shazaam will be on a honeymoon/annexation mission in Jerusalem starting on the 22nd of May. A suitable royal will take his place.

Praise be to Allah, and the most noble of Princes, his loyal servant, Sultan Shazaam

 

[Toasty]

ITALIAN PRESS RELEASE ON THE WAR IN EUROPE
***
As translated from the Rome newspaper Il Manifesto.

Only 90 short days since the French intentions against our innocent nation were revealed, another unfortunate turn has been taken. In a diplomatic crisis over Greece, Generalissimo Toasty revealed to the Sultanate their plans for an invasion in hopes of salvaging their damaged friendship. Then, things went awry.

From the Istanbul telegraph station, 22:57:29 GMT:
"The Italian has...revealed that he is attempting to put an army in Greece.
Next turn, I will disband whatever Army he puts in Greece, with Austrian help...Russia, please do not be a consort to this kind of maniac.
France, any help you can provide will be appreciated and rewarded (Perhaps in another lifetime though ).
A plea from Sultan Shazaam"

It was sent out to all of the Mediterranean powers with the exception of the tiny Hapsburg empire.

In the diplomatic flurry that resumed over the deemed "Spaghetti Invasion", shots were exchanged while Generalissimo Toasty resigned to his palace in Rome to ponder what to do next. Soon after there had been sent a telegram making a proposition for actual work in the Balkans, as opposed to such screeching, but because the telegraph deliveryman was appearantly taking a nap, it was delayed by the mail service.

After it was recieved, relations seem to have been thawed slightly but nothing further has come of it.

During this entire time the battleship Admiral Ricardo and it's fleet steamed to the Agean to entire into a large naval battle with half of the Turkish fleet. It would be determined a draw by both sides.

Soon after, relations continued. After a Turkish telegraph titled "What Now?" was recieved, the Generalissimo made this part of the response public:

"If mutually assured destruction is the path you seek then there is nothing in my power that I can do to stop you. But Italy will not take that path."

After the battle, Admiral DanLucci of the battleship Admiral Ricardo released this impressionist painting of his ship by him that made record sales in Italy. It is now placed over the mantle in 2 out of overy 3 homes in Rome.

 

[Flatlander Fox]

After careful deliberation, the Turkish Naval Department decided to release photos of the Italian/Turkish naval clash that occured several hundred miles south of Greece.

As you can see here, the Admiral Ricardo is being pounded by the Prince Azim, the Turkish navy's flagship. Also notice the fleeing Italian ships from our powerful guns (on the map in the corner)

The Italian Admiral must have had very shaky hands when painting that picture!

Medals were awarded today in Istanbul harbor by the Great Sultan Shazaam to the great naval genius Admiral Ahsoud-Malimo. Admiral Malimo dedicated his naval victory to Allah, and to the Great Sultan Shazaam's 32nd wife, Azeela.

 

[Toasty]

Soon after the alleged "photos" were released, their fradulence was pointed out by the Generalissimo's statement that there are not yet colored photos (though one Italian photographer is close)! The whole of Italy bites there thumb at Admiral Malimo and his fake victory !

Upon inspection by an Italian damage report team, the Admiral Ricardo flagship was found to have almost no damage on it, though 1 cruiser was sunk with the loss of 438 sailors. Turkish casualties by Italian report measure approximately 4,500 sailors, 3 cruisers and 2 destroyers.

At the naval base in Naples there was a ticker-tape parade for the TRUE heroes of the battle of the Aegean.

A photo of Admiral Dan Lucci (far right) just after the parade with the Captain Benvolio (2nd from left) of the destroyer Armamento, Vice Admiral Moretzo (back to photo) of the cruiser Veneziano , and veteran Rear Admiral Gatispucci of the cruiser Napoletano.

 

[Richard III]

LOL at the Admiral Ricardo shots!

However, for the record, the Swiss government thought it should file a copy of a report obtained from the Foreign Intelligence Service of the United States State Department (and reviewed by Secretary Elihu Root personally):

"Captain John Miller of the S.S. Magnus reported by telegraph that he and his crew watched both the fleets fire "madly" at each other for three and a half hours. His Bosun, ordered to watch the engagement in detail, counted 1,212 salvoes fired between both fleets during this period. Since the S.S. Magnus was trapped between the two lines of battle, this figure can be presumed to be accurate.

At the conclusion of the engagement, at 0954 March 8th '02, the Turkish fleet turned and fled, unscathed and apparently without casualties. At the sight of the Turkish fleet retreating, the Italian fleet turned and fled, unscathed, and - according to intercepts - carrying 6 light casualties on the Admiral Ricardo, all self-inflicted."

R.III

 

[Flatlander Fox]

*Read this message thinking of Samuel L. Jackson's voice*

Due to unrest in the Holy City of Jerusalem AND his impending marriage to wife #36 AND the impending honeymoons of wives #31-35, the merciful, beautiful, and always spiritual Sultan Shazaam will be leaving the game for awhile (May 2nd). *Sam's voice off*

His replacement, Magnus soulmining@hotmail.com, will be handling ALL of Shazaam's duties.

Good Luck all, and Happy Stabbing!

I tried to send it out, but wasn't working... I will try to get this thing E-Mailed.

 

[Magnus]

Hello heathens, this is Shazaam's great uncle Suileman. I was dragged out of retirement to run this country. We shall call it the 'Old Turk' revolution! My predecessor's (& postdecessors?)treaties are all still in force if I can find them - damn this office needs a new secretary!

 

[Richard III]

If anyone knows Toasty, can you please knock on his door? Or his name will soon be mud on the streets of Europe.

My game (002) is waiting for orders from him. Since the game I hope to draw in (001) is also waiting, this means that there are a lot of concerned diplomacy players out there wondering if the pressure was too much for Toasty...

 

[Toasty]

Richard, I've sent in both of my orders for 001 and 002. I'm in 3 games as it is and I've got a whole lot of stuff to do (must be that end-of-the-year high school rush ), so please accept my apologies for my lateness. I'll try to put my play a little more ahead of my work next time .

 

[Richard III]

Thanks, orders recieved. I should have the stuff out in a couple of hours (I have to rebuild the game on Realpolitik, owing to a stupid mistake on my part in creating a stupid mistake on its part -and since Turkey is the beneficiary, Fox/Magnus, you owe me...!)

R.III

 

[TrailblazingScot]

New GM position open

 

[Richard III]

I'm sorry Kitten, don't you mean "new English PM position open?"

[phaser]

"I'm sure everyone is now pleased with the improvements in service, so dissent will no longer be tolerated."

Richard III,
11:38pm GMT-5
April 28, 2002
In Westminister Abbey
To the assembled York Family

 

[Berzerker]

Where is the move list for the last turn? I didn't get one in my email and need to see the moves for the last turn...

 

[Richard III]

If you're just looking for a move list, it's in a txt. file in the same update as the one with the map.

But I will send you another copy shortly.

BFK

 

[Richard III]

Here's the latest summary of orders for anyone following:

Movement results for Spring of 1903. (Summer 1903)

Austria: A Budapest - Serbia (*Disbanded*).
Austria: A Serbia - Bulgaria (*Dislodged*).
Austria: A Trieste Hold.

England: F Denmark Supports F Helgoland Bight - Kiel (*Cut*).
England: F Edinburgh - North Sea.
England: F Helgoland Bight - Kiel (*Fails*).
England: F London Supports F Edinburgh - North Sea.
England: A Norway Hold.

France: F Gulf of Lyon - Tyrrhenian Sea.
France: A Marseilles Hold.
France: A North Africa - Tunis (*Fails*).
France: A Picardy Hold.
France: F Western Mediterranean Supports F Gulf of Lyon - Tyrrhenian Sea.

Germany: F Baltic Sea - Denmark (*Fails*).
Germany: A Belgium Hold.
Germany: F Holland - Helgoland Bight (*Fails*).
Germany: A Kiel Supports F Baltic Sea - Denmark (*Cut*).
Germany: A Silesia - Galicia.

Italy: A Piedmont - Marseilles (*Fails*).
Italy: F Tunis Hold.
Italy: F Tyrrhenian Sea Supports F Tunis (*Dislodged*).
Italy: A Venice - Tuscany.

Russia: F Black Sea Supports A Constantinople - Bulgaria.
Russia: A Galicia - Budapest.
Russia: F Gulf of Bothnia Supports F Sweden.
Russia: A Rumania Supports A Greece - Serbia.
Russia: F Sweden Supports F Gulf of Bothnia.
Russia: A Vienna Supports A Galicia - Budapest.
Russia: A Warsaw Hold.

Turkey: F Aegean Sea - Ionian Sea.
Turkey: A Constantinople - Bulgaria.
Turkey: F Eastern Mediterranean Supports F Aegean Sea - Ionian Sea.
Turkey: A Greece - Serbia.
Turkey: F Smyrna - Aegean Sea.

The following units were dislodged:

Austrian A Serbia can retreat to Albania.
Italian F Tyrrhenian Sea can retreat to Naples or Rome.

Austrian A Budapest was destroyed in action by Russian A Galicia.

 

[TrailblazingScot]

The mappy...

 

[Flatlander Fox]

Sultan Shazaam has returned from his honeymoon/peacekeeping/annexation mission in Jerusalem!

While in the Holy Land the noblest prince of princes found a new love, and was married on the temple mount.

Wife #40 is named Hera, is a Pisces, 44D-21-26, and likes gardening and polka music. The Sultan will do ANYTHING to keep her happy.

Shazaam's uncle did a noble job, and was rewarded with a generalship of all Turkish land forces.

On a side note: The Sultan is now in a secret location on the front lines, planning his next move.

 

[TrailblazingScot]

Has anyone heard from Ryan Brooks?

I need to diplomasize with him

 

[Richard III]

He seems to be getting all of the mail I send him...