"Radio Theater" in New Daeacht
The advent of commercial radio broadcast changed life very little for the average citizen in the Empire of New Daeacht, who still tilled the land of his farm under the leadership of the new, army-approved feudatory lord as he always had. However, for the aristocratic, landowning upper class (whose culling in the military coup was strictly a thinning of the herd) and the cosmopolitan elite of New Taelan, the radio proved to be a utilitarian invention if only for the purpose of continually reaffirming the greatness of the Imperator's state. The advent of radio plays and consequently the "art" of so-called radio theatre saw the production of such wildly-popular, weekly radio broadcasts as the "Adventures of Llerget and His Basque Manservant, Stenchvile". Here is recorded for posterity a transcript of one episode of that series.
[Narrator] We begin where we left off, as Llerget and Stenchvile face the terrifying and beautiful sirens of the Ice Sea.
[Llerget] I say Stenchvile, it is rather cold out here on the
Ice Sea.
<Pause for audience laughter>
[Stenchvile] Might I offer you some of my resinous excretion, my lord? As you know, all Basques, being the product of experimentation in human-insect breeding, produce a resinous substance from their armpits once a day. It is a highly efficient insulator, my lord.
[Llerget] Your bodily functions are as convenient as they are disgusting, Stenchvile. Lather me!
<Canned sound effects, maybe have one of the techies smack their gums or just use a plunger next to the microphone>
[Llerget] Ahh yes, that is much better. Now we will be suitably prepared to leave this er, preparatory chamber, and face those dastardly ice sirens!
[Stenchvile] Of course, sir. I would toast you, but as you know, my kind cannot consume the same liquid substances as normal humans. Instead, I will be happy to celebrate our upcoming success by performing the ancestral mandible-clicking song of my people.
[Llerget] Not now, Stenchvile! There are sirens afoot.
<Singing noises go here, Vydmunt will know what to do>
[Siren Queen] So you have come to challenge the sirens of the Ice Sea! And you are... ?
[Llerget] They call me Llerget, milady. And this is my trusty Basque manservant (if he can be called a man), Stenchvile!
[Stenchvile] Charmed.
[Siren Queen] What a disgusting creature! How delightfully foul. Do you have a zoo for these... basques?
[Llerget] Why of course, milady. Providence has given to us that there is an entire country filled of his kind. They're all very quaint and charming when they aren't murdering the innocent and running roughshod over the natural superiority of the Tain race!
<Pause for audience laughter>
[Stenchvile] We aim to please, my lord.
[Siren Queen] How charming. But you have come here to challenge my domain! We must see to it that you are not successful.
[Llerget] I am sorry to disappoint milady, but like all lesser peoples, your kind must too come under the enlightened leadership and domain of our glorious Imperator, Vergetsich, hallowed be His name.
[Siren Queen] Then you shall have to fight my many mermen warriors!
[Stenchvile] That is a lot of mermen, milord!
[Llerget] What a mess we've gotten ourselves into this time, Stenchvile!
[Stenchvile] I'll say.
[Llerget] You'll speak when spoken to, maggot!
<Scene>
[Narrator] What a suspenseful ending! How will Llerget and Stenchvile survive the assault of the Siren Queen's mermen? Will Llerget ever get Stenchvile's resinous secretion off of his clothes? Tune in next week, for more of the Adventures of Llerget and His Basque Manservant, Stenchvile. Hail Vergetsich!
<Play "exit music">