Comedy Improv One-Liner Contest Thread, Part Two

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I like my women like I like my flags: Soaked in petrol and ignited at the first sign of displeasure
 
Although if we were going with my actual flag this would be

I like my women like I like my flags: her image tattooed in miniature on the top-left of lesser women we beat up earlier.

Which is about as disturbing as the first attempt...
 
Life is like wireless broadband: friggin hard to set up, and prone to random shut downs.
 
Life is like wireless broadband: You hate it so much because it never works out for you and yet you need it to survive...
 
Cool I won something on the intertubes. Ok ill try and give it a go

Death is like the EU
 
Death is like the European Union: We're inevitably going to get closer and closer to it, but we'll keep denying that we're really anywhere near it.
 
Death is like the European Union: At first you think, "It's not that bad." then once your in you think, "Let me out, let me out!!!"
 
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