Comedy Improv One-Liner Contest Thread, Part Two

[Lord Baal]

I'd gladly set them on fire if I could get away with it.

 

[madviking]

My co-workers are like my Christmas tree:

nonjewish

 

[Kullervo]

Vegetative and need to occasionally be watered in order for them to continue at least looking decent.

 

[Save_Ferris]

They're already dead inside, they just hide it under decoration.

 

[azzaman333]

I forgot to water them and they died.

 

[Zack]

azzaman wins

 

[azzaman333]

Making love is like riding a bicycle:

 

[Zack]

Not as good as a tricycle

 

[madviking]

anyone can do it

 

[mayor]

The use of a brand new one is always better

 

[dragonprobably]

I never do either.

 

[Fr8monkey]

Making love is like riding a bicycle:

Lately I have been on a unicycle...

 

[Kullervo]

The more axles, the more memorable it is.

 

[_random_]

My dad taught me how. It wasn't pleasant, but I can't argue with the results.

 

[Save_Ferris]

If you've never gotten bruises trying to do it, you aren't trying hard enough.

 

[Gori the Grey]

Protective gear is important but can slow you down.

 

[Cynovolans]

Only lubricate the moving parts.

 

[SamSniped]

Making love is like riding a bicycle:

Falling off sucks, but it feels good to get back on.

 

[Lord Baal]

My arse always ends up taking a pounding.

 

[azzaman333]

Random wins.

My dad taught me how. It wasn't pleasant, but I can't argue with the results.

Lord Baal a close second.

My arse always ends up taking a pounding.