Comedy Improv One-Liner Contest Thread, Parto Uno:

[Yeekim]

Your mama is like a thread on a discussion forum, she's been necromanced one too many times.

That was no easy pick, but dutchfire gets the laurels this time!

EDIT: Actually, just "necroed" would've been better

 

[dutchfire]

Yeah

I like my women like I like my sports...

 

[Dumanios]

I like my woman like I like my sports,in teams battling eachother.

 

[SS-18 ICBM]

I like my women like I like my sports: on a television or computer screen.

 

[choxorn]

I like my women like I like my sports: Great to watch, better to play with.

 

[carmen510]

I like my women like I like my sports: Massed together touching eachother.

 

[Narz]

I like my women like I like my sports, having fun with bats & balls (preferably mine, in this analogy I'd like to cast myself as the equipment provider), not with pads though.

 

[SS-18 ICBM]

I think you meant "sticks and balls".

 

[Narz]

I think you meant "sticks and balls".

You may utilize the word stick which implies a spindly, misshapen twig, I'll stick with bat - thick & straight, capable of feats of immense power.

 

[SS-18 ICBM]

"Shafts and balls" could work.

 

[Narz]

But I like my women playing with more than just the shaft!

 

[mechaerik]

I like my women like I like my sports... sweaty and having fun.

 

[Flying Pig]

I like violent sports - not sure what to do with that.

 

[Yeekim]

I like my women like I like my sports: heavily sponsored by old rich geezers, well played by me.

 

[iamwlrs4]

I like my women like I like my sports... exciting and sweaty.

 

[Kennigit]

I like my women like I like my sports: it's the most fun when it's with middle schoolers.

bleh, crude joke that I couldn't format well

 

[Veritass]

I like my women like I like my sports: sometimes I like the enthusiasm of the college players, but mostly I prefer the skill of the professionals.

 

[dutchfire]

I like my women like I like my sports: sometimes I like the enthusiasm of the college players, but mostly I prefer the skill of the professionals.

You're the winner. Though Yeekim and choxorn were close.

 

[choxorn]

What? I demand a recount! His submission was far outside the 24-hour limit!

 

[Veritass]

Yo' Momma is like the King James Bible: