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Funniest Thing the Computer has Said?

Discussion in 'Civ3 - Stories & Tales' started by KnightOwl, Oct 31, 2001.

  1. heikeott

    heikeott Needs More Medication

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2003
    Messages:
    129
    Location:
    Tulsa, OK
    I can't find a thread for the most annoying things the AI has said to you, so I guess I'll post them here:

    Asked to trade world maps with England and Elizabeth responded: We have no interest in such a deal. England already knows more about the world than you do."

    And in this game Mao (who pays the most for tech when I get it ahead of him) keeps telling me: "Yours is a pleasant and accomodating little culture."

    :mad:
     
  2. Missing Persons

    Missing Persons Chieftain

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2001
    Messages:
    22
    I was playing against the Mongols recently and struck a deal with Genghis Kahn. He replied with

    "It was a pleasure speaking with you. Odd, since you are so far inferior, but personality does go a long way."
     
  3. fephisto

    fephisto Warlord

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2002
    Messages:
    214
    After I made a MPP with the chinese

    And acient Wise man once said,"One is the lonliest number"

    I laughed so hard.
     
  4. CrazyMrLeo

    CrazyMrLeo Wild Child

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2001
    Messages:
    270
    Location:
    The Canada
    The best one I've gotten was from Shaka, who was being beaten up pretty badly and needed an alliance:

    "[Some evil civ] is attacking our women, our children, and our cattle! Please ally with us! We MUST protect those cattle!"

    Whoever wrote these is brilliant XD
     
  5. das

    das Regeneration In Process

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2001
    Messages:
    19,309
    Location:
    Ekaterinburg (Sverdlovsk), Russia
    I don't know was it mentioned before, but my science advisor keeps saying: "Compared to you, msot people have an IQ of a carrot."

    Well I am flattered!:lol: :wavey:
     
  6. das

    das Regeneration In Process

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2001
    Messages:
    19,309
    Location:
    Ekaterinburg (Sverdlovsk), Russia
    Oh, and Isabella saying: "Is there a Viking hobo near Seville?" when my Grand Armada was making ready for to land hordes of Berserkers. That's more then just a Vaking hobo, you know!
     
  7. puglover

    puglover Disturber of Worldviews

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2002
    Messages:
    9,643
    Location:
    Kansas
    I was at war with the Greeks (see My First Celtic Game) ad my crazy forgein advisor said...

    :lol: "We cannot trade with the Greek people as we have not a road to their capital" :lol:

    Hello?!?! Earth to Advisor! We can't trade we are at WAR!
     
  8. jack merchant

    jack merchant Internationalist

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2002
    Messages:
    3,911
    Location:
    The Netherlands
    asking the furious Arabs for a loan ( not that I needed it, and neither did they have any money), I got this little nugget:" Never ! Evildoers shall receive no help from the Arab people! "
     
  9. Inventor_of_Mac

    Inventor_of_Mac Chieftain

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2003
    Messages:
    73
    Location:
    Tallinn,Estonia
    :rotfl:
     
  10. china444

    china444 Ain't no thang

    Joined:
    May 10, 2002
    Messages:
    3,991
    Location:
    Battle Creek, Michigan
    Thats semi-funny.
    It not like it weird, she truthful.
     
  11. TNG

    TNG Sad, sad little man

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2002
    Messages:
    810
    Location:
    I currently live in Edinburg, Texas
    Once when I was playing a multiplayer game, I checked my Trade advisor and she said "I'm not even supposed to be here Today!"
     
  12. nickmandler

    nickmandler L'utilisateur du site web

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    Messages:
    172
    Location:
    East of NY
    I have two favorites: the first is when India says: "India welcomes you, Joan d'Arc! Would you like a nice vegetarian curry?" and, from one of the vikings, "Do not tell me that it is raining gold while you pee on me, Joan d'Arc!"
    How about that?
     
  13. Jason The King

    Jason The King Deity

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2002
    Messages:
    12,050
    Location:
    Bay Area, California
    I have gotten

    "The AI says: "

    And then the trade deals, lol. I wasn't sure if it were an actual saying, or a flaw in the game, lol.

    Jason
     
  14. nickmandler

    nickmandler L'utilisateur du site web

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    Messages:
    172
    Location:
    East of NY
    I have yet to see either the "9 virgins" or the "all your base" response.
     
  15. Lord Vetinari

    Lord Vetinari Patrician of Ankh-Morpork

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2003
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    41
    Location:
    Why the #@$! should I tell you?
    I got Xerxes to say this when i refused his demand for money: "We would normaly go to war with you, but i admire your guts." or something like that :rolleyes:
     
  16. Lord Vetinari

    Lord Vetinari Patrician of Ankh-Morpork

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2003
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    41
    Location:
    Why the #@$! should I tell you?
    I saw Lincon saying, asking for peace treaty, " Lets stop pounding each other like bulls in a water closet (toilet)." :rotfl:
     
  17. Civ_Man_89

    Civ_Man_89 Chieftain

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2003
    Messages:
    17
    When in times of trouble, run into a wall, bounce back, and run into it again.:D
     
  18. burning_phoneix

    burning_phoneix Chieftain

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2002
    Messages:
    50
    Location:
    Saudi Arabia
    I was just rejected by the furious celts so I said 'never mind' and I get this funny response:

    "Our bards are making a death chant for you Osman and we will chant it vigourosly. you here me? VIGOUROUSLY!"

    please excuse my bad spelling
     
  19. Beanzy

    Beanzy Prince

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2002
    Messages:
    329
    I don't know if anyone has already said this, and, to be honest, I'm too lazy to read the entire thread, so I'll just post it.

    After asking for a Right of Passage with the Persians, they replied ,"Sure, I'll give you a right of passage -- TO HELL!! I remeber what you did to the Arabs!" (I once had a similar agreement with the Arabs, and used it to raze Baghdad to the ground.)
     
  20. Mullet Crusader

    Mullet Crusader Celtic Warrior

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2002
    Messages:
    133
    Location:
    California
    I believe it was the Ottomans i was dealing with who refused my fair offer, i, frustrated, clicked "Will you accept this deal?" anyway, just ofr the hell of it.

    "Please make me another offer when you are sober, Brennus."

    LMAO!
     

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