Funniest Thing the Computer has Said?

Not to get all technical, Erdrick, but actually, it's "Wouldn't be prudent. At this juncture." President George Bush senior said that. Juncture. Not time. I guess it's sort of a dicky thing to get all picky like this, but without juncture, it's totally different. By the way, I like the word wanker. Especially in the sentence "ya bloody wankah!"
-Warlord Brent:crazyeye:
 
I don't know if anyone else has had this, but I got this off a Gracious Catherine last night...

"Greetings! How are those American peasants of yours? Keeping them downtrodden, are you?"
 
I am playing as the Americans.
My game has the fascist patch so Hitler is Germany's leader. Here's what he had to offer (as I remember it):

"You need knowledge to survive in today's fast-paced world. We offer you "Communism" to broaden your tiny minds." :crazyeye:
 
i have yet to see the "all your base belong to us" line in civ3, but i have had some funny experiences w/ the AI in trade negotiations:

The greeks when i accidently invaded their territory and appologized:

"Going so soon Raven? Our troops eagerly await your return!!"
:D heh civ3 sarcasm (and alexander looked so happy when he said it too)

also another one elizabeth said when she was beaten up and defeated

"I bet you a 100 gold you cant do that again"

:)
 
Then again, you can look at diplomacy.txt and copy all the funny quotes and put them up here. Easy to check for lies, just look in your own copy.
 
Dont think this has been posted already, if it has sorry. :) (At least I'm not re-posting the All Your Base is Belong to Us thing for the 30th time heh)

I think its funny how, if you tell the Russians that your troops approach their cities, and to sign a peace treaty, they say "We will bury you." That of course, is the famous line Kruschev uttered during the cold war. :D
 
I had the zulu down to one city and asked for peace. Shaka said you are to generous for your own good, if I were you I'd kill me. I decided to take his advice.
 
Hiawatha (has a stack of Frigates and Galleons off my coast): "Greetings, you backstabbing Joan d'Arc. Your puny civilization will perish unless you give me your technology."

Just as he was about to see a fleet of destroyers.

I just wish the choices were other than:

"We'll give you what you want... this time."
"Take your idle threats elsewhere, Hiawatha."
"That's it. Goodbye." (which is what I clicked) -- I hope this didn't give him the tech.

I would have preferred something like:

"You're a rude bastard. We'll give you what you want... this time."
(additional) "ROTFLMAO! And we want your first born male child. Propose a deal."
"I fart in your general direction, you empty headed food trough wiper. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. Now begone, or I shall taunt you a second time!"
"I'm sorry, but we have a bad connection..... click!"

Oh well, time to provoke a war.
 
here's one i find funny..

"Leave, now? But how will my troops learn the invasion routes? Er, forget I said that, will you? We'll leave at once."

another one i found funny was..

"Much like your skull, your threats are empty. Go away now."

last one i find funny is:

"Do you take me for a simpleton? I have emptied entire continents for less provocation!""
 
We were invaded by Babylonia 25 turns ago. I think the most humorous thing so far is:

"Madame President, Rheims is in civil disorder."
"Madame President, Paris is in civil disorder."
"Madame President, Avignon is in civil disorder."
"Madame President, Strasbourg is in civil disorder."
"Madame President, Cherbourg is in civil disorder."
"Madame President, Marseilles is in civil disorder."
"Madame President, Athens is in civil disorder."
"Madame President, Sparta is in civil disorder."
"Madame President, Rouen is in civil disorder."
"Madame President, Tours is in civil disorder."
"Madame President, Dijon is in civil disorder."
"Madame President, New Orleans is in civil disorder."
"Madame President, Troy is in civil disorder."
"Madame President, Besacon is in civil disorder."
"Madame President, Poiters is in civil disorder."
"Madame President, New Akkad is in civil disorder."
"Madame President, New Paris is in civil disorder."
"Madame President, Lafeyette is in civil disorder."
"Madame President, St. Michel is in civil disorder."
"Madame President, Nantes is in civil disorder."
"Madame President, New Tours is in civil disorder."
"Madame President, Brest is in civil disorder."
"Madame President, Grenoble is in civil disorder."
"Madame President, Chartres is in civil disorder."
"Madame President, New Grenoble is in civil disorder."
"Madame President, Gordium is in civil disorder."
"Madame President, Narbonne is in civil disorder."

"All we are saying... is give peace a chance." Okay so maybe they want to live under Babylonian rule.

Democracy sucks. My people are a bunch of wusses.
 
I was negotiating with Shaka and we couldn't reach an agreement, at the end he said to me "I have 3 words for you.. Take more Medication!

HAR
 
Okay a little background. I've been at war with Persia 3 times.

I just got out of another war due to war weariness. I kind of ignored Iroquois presence since I didn't want another war with them especially while I was fighting a war with Persia. They settle with Persia (non-allied). I go to the diplomacy screen to ask the Iroquois to leave. Of course I only get one choice -- "leave or war!"

My foreign advisor tells me to beware of Hiawatha since "He betrayed our friends the Persians several times." I felt like telling him to increase HIS medication.

Persia is no friend. So I got England to ally against the Iroquois.
 
Abe said that I looked like "A person who had been in a hatchet fight and didn't have a hatchet."
 
One of the funniest things the com has said, not a nation but my foriegn advisor said this when i declared war on England who had an MPP with France, "Sire, those Morons over there in france have declared war on us. They have a mutual protection pact with England!"
 
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