Deity name: Thwapp
Embodiment: God of Spontaneity, Inconveniences, and Annoyances
Player: Terrance888
Description: Often depicted as an impish creature with an impossibly wide smile on his face, Thwapp, or the exact sound made when a palm strikes a face, is a trickster to the highest degree. Plots? Plans? Bah. Whatever he wishes, he does. More a being of chaos than anything else, his highest concern is amusing himself, as well as aiding those which amuse him.
Thwapp is not a god of Accidents. Everything he does is deliberate, in an unconcerned sort of way. Thwapp is not a god of Traps. He does not seek to kill or constrain for a purpose other than amusement. Thwapp is a god of annoyances that inevitably show, and karmic events that inevitably happen.
Random nosebleeds? Thwapp. That last unchecked apple in the barrel? The only bad one. Stubbed your toe? Eeyup. Sudden decision to shove the person infront of you? Gotcha. What are we talking about again?
And whenever stupidity occurs and faces get palmed, Thwapp's laughter echoes in the ether as he finds more fun to be had.
Origin: Some unimportant fluids or body parts or skin or whatever merges with the chaotic border between the first day and the first night.
First turn realm: A seemingly flat field pockmarked with tiny burrows and holes, perfect for twisting ankles and breaking nails. This field will be placed beside other more normal fields. Mwahahaha.
Deity name: *Sound a Facepalm Makes* or merely
*FACEPALM*
Embodiment: God of Hangnails (And other Disgusting But Nonfatal Ailments and Accidents)
Player: Terrance888
Description: Annoying annoyances are annoying. And so is he. Oooh look, your nosebleed went all over your priceless keyboard.
OOOPS.
First turn realm: A seemingly flat field pockmarked with tiny burrows and holes, perfect for twisting ankles and breaking nails.
EDIT: Just to clarify, he's like Discord, except less mindrape, more pranks. MOAR.
I hereby unveil... Groantuber, or for fantafication, Roatubag.
It is a delicate fruit that grows underground. So delicate that if you step above it it or dig with a spade it will break and start germinating. So the only way to get at it is to dig with bare hands. Even though it's delicate, you still gotta weed, but weed carefully damit!
When you get to the fruit it will have a rough outerskin which often grows around stones and into the dirt, so it is difficult to determine where exactly it is. If you have to pull on it to get it out instead of just lifting it out, the sensitive skin will likely break. If you scratch the sensitive skin with a nail while digging it out, the sensitive skin will likely break.
After you finally dig the damn thing out, you gotta find the one seam in the armor and peel it open. Do it too fast or with too much pressure and the sensitive skin will break. Do it too slowly and you can't peel it open due to the seal there.
Finally, you get the seed, which I imagine is a mixture of Chocolate and Potatoe. Ideally it is edible raw but tastes merely alright. If you cook you must cook carefully. If you overcook it slightly it suddenly burns and singes and is worthless. As soon as it feels heat it will begin to destarchify so you must cook it to completion or else it is chewy and tasteless and worthless. Mind, there are various correct ways to cook it. (grinding, chopping, roasting... all valid)
Oh, and what happens if you break the sensitive outer skin? You reveal a protective coat of highly caustic and hot juices that spurt out. Like a Habanero. And since you dug with your hands like a tard, there's probably some cuts on there this will get into. Don't worry, it's not deadly. That deadly.