How sociable are you?

[Disgustipated]

I was listening in on a conversation in the lunch room today to try to figure out how regular people talk, and I realize that maybe I'm not that friendly. In this conversation the person asked the other about their kids getting teeth or whatever. And I figured out this is how I'm different than other people. For one, I don't give a crap about other people's kids getting their first tooth. And the last thing I want to hear is a boring story how their kid got their first tooth. It's why I had to give myself a 1. I do care about people, just not stories about their kid's first tooth.

 

[PlutonianEmpire]

1, but it should probably be a zero. I never leave my room except to eat or go to the restroom.

I despise having to leave the house.

And, I suck at parties. All I do is just sit at a random empty table not doing anything for the whole damn party.

I voted 1 anyway because I kinda like to socialize once in a while, but that's it. I'm only slightly more sociable on the internet, but even in chatroom, I just idle and watch the conversations go by; only saying something when either something interests me, or when I want to be an attention whore.

 

[mayor]

. I do care about people, just not stories about their kid's first tooth.

well.. to be fair.. who does? (unless if you have a little kid of your own maybe...)

 

[Winner]

And, I suck at parties. All I do is just sit at a random empty table not doing anything for the whole damn party.

Then why do you bother going there at all?

What's the point of going to a "party" when you don't talk to anyone? Don't you go with at least some people you know? That's how you get introduced to other people...

 

[warpus]

The hell there is.

Saying that it's okay to be introverted is too close to the crappy advice of "just be yourself". It's a terrible, damaging and - while it may be given by the best of intentions - evil advice to give!

I'm sorry, but that's a bunch of bs.

Being introverted is just fine, as long as you make an attempt to be social with people from time to time. Be introverted - don't be an unsociable loser who keeps to himself 100% of the time.

When you're an introvert - it's very hard (or maybe even impossible?) to become an extrovert. What *is* possible is to go on extroverted adventures, which is what I'm forced to do every once in a while at work, parties, social events, etc.

I say "forced to".. I don't really mind it. The first couple times I did this (okay, the first couple years), it was terrifying, but now I'm as cool as a cucumber at social events.. I even enjoy some of it!

But to stop being an introvert? NEVER! That is who I am

 

[Winner]

When you're an introvert - it's very hard (or maybe even impossible?) to become an extrovert.

It's about as possible as becoming straight when you're gay, or vice versa AFAIK introversion/extro(a)version is biologically determined by the way your brain works, it's not a "choice" or something you can really change. You can of course consciously try to pretend you're extroverted, and most introverts do that sometimes, but this changes nothing about how you feel.

But to stop being an introvert? NEVER! That is who I am

Amen brother, introvert pride and all that

Our brains tend to put more energy into thinking and planning, whereas extroverts' brains tend to favour centres of emotional processing. That's why extroverts find it easy to socialize; this activity needs emotional "intelligence" more than the rational "intelligence". No wonder most intellectuals are actually introverts.

(And really, I sometimes - not generally, just sometimes - find extroverted persons really annoying. There *is* such a thing as being too open, too willing to share.)

 

[mayor]

It's about as possible as becoming straight when you're gay, or vice versa AFAIK introversion/extro(a)version is biologically determined by the way your brain works, it's not a "choice" or something you can really change. You can of course consciously try to pretend you're extroverted, and most introverts do that sometimes, but this changes nothing about how you feel.

I don't know how it is determined whether or not you're introvert but it is possible to change from being introvert to being (at least more) extrovert.
I used to be rather introvert but I "changed" to be more extrovert over the last couple of years. For me, it made my life a bit more eventful and more fun

I'm not saying people who are introvert should change to being extrovert. But being completely introvert isn't a good thing either imo

(And really, I sometimes - not generally, just sometimes - find extroverted persons really annoying. There *is* such a thing as being too open, too willing to share.)

And I do agree with that btw

 

[Winner]

I don't know how it is determined whether or not you're introvert but it is possible to change from being introvert to being (at least more) extrovert.
I used to be rather introvert but I "changed" to be more extrovert over the last couple of years. For me, it made my life a bit more eventful and more fun

It's possible to fake that, yes. But change who you are? I doubt it. Maybe you were around the middle on the introvert-extrovert scale, so your conscious effort to be more extroverted just tipped the balance.

I'm not saying people who are introvert should change to being extrovert. But being completely introvert isn't a good thing either imo

It's a scale. As always, the extremes can be problematic. Being too introverted obviously makes you an outsider in most social settings. Being too extroverted can annoy other people (ever felt like punching someone in the face for being too talkative, too showy, too determined to be the centre of attention? )

I am an introvert, but not of the kind that is terrified of speaking with other people. People who don't know me long enough sometimes think I am actually quite extroverted, but it's just an act.

 

[mayor]

It's possible to fake that, yes. But change who you are? I doubt it. Maybe you were around the middle on the introvert-extrovert scale, so your conscious effort to be more extroverted just tipped the balance.

possible... I became more introvert during the time I had a relationship.. when that finished I became more extrovert again... might have something to do with the need for attention from the other sex

(ever felt like punching someone in the face for being too talkative, too showy, too determined to be the centre of attention? )

definitly.. I want to be the centre of attention

EDIT: well... that tbh that depends on the situation

 

[Winner]

possible... I became more introvert during the time I had a relationship.. when that finished I became more extrovert again... might have something to do with the need for attention from the other sex

"Honey, being in a relationship with you makes me introverted..."

I *will* use this line one day

 

[galdre]

Definitely very much an introvert... always have been. I went through a stage where I tried to be more extroverted since it seemed to be what was expected of me, but it was never me and I gave it up after a while.

 

[Eat_Up_Martha]

I'd say about a 7. I've never really had any trouble making friends, and I definitely enjoy being in groups of people. But I still often tend to shut down around strangers and don't always put the best foot forward.

 

[Ajidica]

I'm moderately sociable. I am certiantly not the life of the party, nor do I insist on being surrounded with friends at all times in constant contact, but I do enjoy the company of others and seeing friends often.
Rate myself 5, with a possibility of being up to 7.

 

[warpus]

I don't know how it is determined whether or not you're introvert but it is possible to change from being introvert to being (at least more) extrovert.
I used to be rather introvert but I "changed" to be more extrovert over the last couple of years. For me, it made my life a bit more eventful and more fun

I'm not saying people who are introvert should change to being extrovert. But being completely introvert isn't a good thing either imo



And I do agree with that btw

I changed. A bit. I'm an introvert at heart, but instead of being terrified of extrovertism and extroverted activities, I now accept them as a part of my life and find myself quite comfortable participating.

So I'm still an introvert, but I've dabbled in extrovertism. I think that's the best way to go about it - you don't want to change who you are at heart.. it's probably pretty much impossible anyway.

 

[Hygro]

0 = never leave your room
and 10 = can never be alone maybe.

On this scale let me switch my "10" to a "3"
My energy has a cyclical nature that oscilates between kind of tired to full of zest. I tend to pull back on most social obligations when at the tired end. But even there I am still capable of being super social I just don't want to be there.

 

[Kennigit]

I'd say 2.

I don't meet new people. But new people meet me sometimes. I make some friends that way. They're exclusively male, but hey, I'm okay with that most of the time.

I don't think I really have trouble communicating, just that sometimes I'm boring. Or that I may only be interesting to people very much like me--which unfortunately excludes the vast vast majority of women I would be interested in.

One thing I've noticed is that I don't really have much of a "sentiment" for people. There are people I can talk to very frequently on a almost-daily basis, then when I don't see them for a long time I don't "miss" them. I don't miss anyone from high school and will probably never talk to any of them again for longer than a short conversation on facebook. I will never see any of them again in my life. I didn't even spend a summer after high school with them; my family moved like the day after my graduation. I didn't mind.

During winter/summer breaks from university, I don't really talk to my friends from university; I didn't miss them during the summer either. I come back during the university year and resume social activities with them. Same thing happened in high school, just with summer break.

It's not that I don't like people, just that I don't feel a difference between long-term friendships/relationships and shorter ones (obviously just met is different, but if I've been friends with someone for a month that feels the same to me as 1.5 years).

 

[cardgame]

That describes me uncomfortably well.

 

[PlutonianEmpire]

Then why do you bother going there at all?

What's the point of going to a "party" when you don't talk to anyone? Don't you go with at least some people you know? That's how you get introduced to other people...

Because it wasn't until a few months ago that I realized that that's how I behave at parties.

Last party I attended was my brother's high school graduation party 6 months ago.

When I realized a few months ago that my behavior was like that, I made a vow to never again attend parties.

So far I've done a good job at not attending parties.

Being shy and introverted makes it all the easier.

 

[Akkon888]

I am extremely sociable, but it doesn't seem that way because most of the conversations whizzing around me (in my high-school years) are either completely stupid and egocentric, or vapid and melodramatic. I want to talk and hear about politics and other, more stimulating topics than trivial gossip. What is worse is that some of these idiots actually think I care about their problems, even when I don't know them at all (have never seen their face, or do not know their name).

It seems like this topic is forcing me to be egocentric, thus compromising my stance on the topic -_-. Thus, I'll stop now.

 

[WildFire]

I don't really understand how many of you dislike small talk or avoid it all together. It's the easiest way to gel with new people if you don't find a common ground right away and helps people from not saying anything for 30 minutes and feeling uncomfortable. Just a few days ago at work there were 4 of us talking for 1 1/2 hours (oops) and we went from movies to video games and sports. We had an 8 minute discussion about counter strike (with a chick) and first person shooters and the conversation would've never steered that way without the input of everyone.

Obviously small talk can be frustrating if that's what a certain group of friends always talks about but if you are being "egocentric" or labeling others as that, put yourselves in their shoes. If they had a crappy day/week/month they probably don't want to talk about it and are talking about pointless drivel to keep themselves from thinking about it.