[RD] I'm transitioning. If you've ever been confused about the T in LGBT, ask me anything

I'm realizing I don't really have a frame of reference to understand this besides puberty. Do you all feel more awkward or clumsy while the transitioning is happening, or do you miss having that bit of extra strength? Like, are ordinary boxes or backpacks heavier for you?

Hard to say without setting a baseline for strength then testing throughout the transition. There's a bit of clumsiness as you relearn certain physical actions -- women walk differently than men. I couldn't discern if clumsiness was from new physical habits or muscle tone changes.

Is clumsiness a normal symptom of muscle loss though? It's not as if that's something unique to transwomen.
 
Hard to say without setting a baseline for strength then testing throughout the transition. There's a bit of clumsiness as you relearn certain physical actions -- women walk differently than men. I couldn't discern if clumsiness was from new physical habits or muscle tone changes.

Is clumsiness a normal symptom of muscle loss though? It's not as if that's something unique to transwomen.

It's kind of two things. Like, I figure learning to walk in heels (if that's your thing) would make you clumsy for awhile.

But separately from that, I have moved my apartment a bunch of times. Back when I was lifting weights more regularly, I remember certain book boxes or furniture, TVs, other stuff like that was pretty easy for me to move. But recently, I had to move again and the same things were a pain to lift. I just felt frustrated and weak by the end of it. For me, that was a couple years apart and when I was in drastically different physical shape, but I still only noticed it during the move. I'm wondering if you go through that during HRT to the point where it is noticeable over the course of a month or two instead of years.
 
Only trans people I know are on CFC, so I don't get too much exposure to normal trans people (as opposed to crazy people on TV, etc). So on that note, no, you're not talking too much about it. In fact, I'd rather like regular reminders about the topic, whenever you feel you want to post something.

Ok, going to use this as a carte blanche to rant on a topic that means a lot to me but I highly doubt means anything tk even contre or cheezy. It really happened a few weeks ago but it resurfaced today due to a new development and I really need to get this kff my chest since trying to talk sports to IOT is a fruitless endeavor.

The first team I ever followed as a kid was the Boston Red Sox (the love probably started around 2000ish to be exact!). Even if I don't like it as much anymore, baseball was the first sport I really got into, and I have a lot of shirts and hats and other memorbillia of the early to mid 2000 Red Sox. For people who don't know or care about Baseball, they are a professional level team in the American Leauge, playing for the East Division. The Yankees-Red Sox rivarly is the biggest rivarly in North American sports; and in a border region between the two teams territories, like in Albany, it is a huge deal. To get into the gritty details of how this rivarly formed is beyond the scope of this, but as a tl;dr the Red Sox and Yankees dominated the early years of the leauge. After their championship in 1918, the Red Sox traded arguably the greatest baseball player of all time, Babe Ruth, to the Yankees so the owner could fund a musical. This marked a downward spiral if the Red Sox franchise, combined with the start of numerous Yankees dynasties, in what became known as the Curse of the Bambino. After 1918, the Red Sox could never manage to secure a World Series, even after usually starting strong in the World Series, well, series. Hence, a curse.

In 2004, the real competition were the Red Sox and the Yankees. The Yankees were in their twilight years of a late 90s dynasty, and were easily the best team in the leauge at that time. The Red Sox had a terrible first half of the season, but won a lot of their later games after an unirthodox trading strategy which led to the team being called "the Idiots" due to how mismatched and untested the line up was. The championship game for the American Leauge, was, as typical as it was for the time, the Red Sox vs the Yankees in a secen game series.

The first game was initially Yankees blowing the Red Sox out, before an almost come back that never fully happened. Second game was even less close, and the third game was just embarrassing for Boston. The series became 3-0 Yankees, and everyone was writing off the Idiots. The 2003 Red Sox team was far better, it was argued, and they couldnt even beat the Yankees. Then the magic happened. In Game Four, it looked like the Yankees would win a hard fought match, but Boston scores at the last possible moment to force it into overtime, where they win. Game five was even more magical, going into 14 long innings (the longest post season game ever at the time.

Game Six, however, is the important one, the one I am even bothering to write about,the reason why the 2004 ACLS is remembered as one of the greatest series ever played. It was here when Curt Schilling, a pick up from Boston on,ybthat gear, would go down in the annals of Boston history. The Yankees were done playing around at that point; they were back in New York after playing three games in Fenway. Maybe it was a fluke, the fact that Fenway is a pretty odd stadium that Boston clearly has more experience playing on. But it was finally time to put those upstart Idiots in their place.

Schilling was injured in the foot when he played in the series against the Angels in the previous round; the injury was a decding factor in game 1 vs the Yankees when he started against them. Yet, they decided to play him. He was literally on a foot crutch the entire game, yet pitched the game of his life. I remember this game so goddamn well. His tendons started to tear through the stress and yet /he kept on playing/, his sock turning bloody red from the stress. Schilling was pyhsically limping when he had to move off the mound but /kept in playing/. He had to be pulled for the final inning, but even that shows just how determined he was to make sure the Yankees didnt geat the Red Sox yet again. It was, well, it was a special monent for me to watch, especially since my dad was a Yankees fan and I was watching it with him and oh my god honestly I'm tearing up irl even recounting this game which kills me for why I am writing this :cry:

So to finish the story in 2004, the Red Sox would win game seven in a 10 to 3 blow out, tobecome the first team in baseball history to be down 3-0 in a series to come back and win the next four. They'd then sweep the Cardinals in the World Series, with the final game being even played under a blood moon. The 86 year curse was broken, under circumstances that woukd had made Hollywood blush. The Idiots did it where no one else could.

And why does Curt Schilling and this bloody sock matter? Well, a few weeks ago, Curt posted some very transphobic stuff on his social media account, as his two cents over the North Carolina bathroom bill. And I can't lie; a part of my childhood died that day. That game meant a lot to me and just to hear him say that stuff... I'm literally crying its really hard to formulate my thoughts. :cry:

So, he had a job as a sports analyst in ESPN. He was fired over those comments, so that should be the end of that story right? No. So apparently ESPN aired their 30 for 30 special on the 2004 ALCS, and for whatever reason, they decided to completely omit that Game Six from that broadcast. Just completely pretended it never happened. To put it into context, itd be like doing a documentary on the Eastern Front and ignoring Stalingrad completely. Like pretending it never happened at all. It was the climax, the height of a fanbase's hopes and dreams vs the evil empire (yes that is what we seriously called the Yankees at the time, they were that undefeatable and hated) and it was just.... Not there.

Of course, this caused a huge backlash on social media, as ESPN is being accused of being too SJW and trying to rewrite history, and the frustration over the whole debacle has led to sone really nasty transphobia come from the fanbase and... Im getting too emotional over this now im going to call this acwrap on this post.

So um, thanks for listening over having one of my fondest childhood memories ruined after the fact. Really appreciate someone listenng, asits really hard to find an auidence that cares about me being trans and sports at the same time.
 
Ok, going to use this as a carte blanche to rant [...]

So um, thanks for listening over having one of my fondest childhood memories ruined after the fact. Really appreciate someone listenng, asits really hard to find an auidence that cares about me being trans and sports at the same time.

You're welcome. :)

And yeah, being let down by ones heroes really sucks, especially when it is about something serious. :sad:

(If I can drop in a positive note though: It's always possible he'll come around, and you'll hear him regret his stance in twenty years time...)

The reactions afterwards I can kinda... expect? ESPN are risk averse, and would rather take the -20% hit to reputation, instead of risking a hit between 0 and -80%, so to say. It would probably have been fine to air the game IMO, but I don't know. Perhaps there is also some legalities involved, with copyrights or such?

But just so you know, I watched the Red Sox vs the Twins once, and it was - as baseball always is - boooring! :p
 
You're welcome. :)

And yeah, being let down by ones heroes really sucks, especially when it is about something serious. :sad:

(If I can drop in a positive note though: It's always possible he'll come around, and you'll hear him regret his stance in twenty years time...)

The reactions afterwards I can kinda... expect? ESPN are risk averse, and would rather take the -20% hit to reputation, instead of risking a hit between 0 and -80%, so to say. It would probably have been fine to air the game IMO, but I don't know. Perhaps there is also some legalities involved, with copyrights or such?

But just so you know, I watched the Red Sox vs the Twins once, and it was - as baseball always is - boooring! :p

30 for 30 is a documentary series that they produce in house, they have rhe rights to it themselves. It was a political move to censor it.
 
I was thinking maybe there's some clauses in some player's contracts or something, but yes, it most likely a political/PR decision.
 
General Appearance. To me, girls just look better than guys. Like, when I look at a cute girl, sometimes I don't know if I'm attracted to her or jealous of her body/outfit.

This raised an interesting couple of questions for me. Did either of you (contre/Omega) find any support groups, and did you find them helpful? And I think you're both young enough to never have been without an internet, but did you find knowing there's other similarly-afflicted folks out in the world to be helpful?

For me, growing up and having some of the same sense as Omega (specifically in the quoted line, and feeling the same way about skirts and ponytails and other bits), it was just lonely. It was only in the early 90s (on AOL chat) where I learned there were other people not named Ru Paul that felt the way I did.
 
This raised an interesting couple of questions for me. Did either of you (contre/Omega) find any support groups, and did you find them helpful? And I think you're both young enough to never have been without an internet, but did you find knowing there's other similarly-afflicted folks out in the world to be helpful?

Outside of IOT, there was a LGBT club in Brockport that I went to last semester. I kind of stopped going this semester, as tbh I had nothing really in common with them besides being LGBT, and it just wasn't really finding it all that helpful. They're nice people and I wish them all the best, but I just... I didn't belong there you know? Don't know how else I can put it.

Yes to the latter. Knowing that others are trans, and it's OK to be trans, has definitely helped me accept who I am.

For me, growing up and having some of the same sense as Omega (specifically in the quoted line, and feeling the same way about skirts and ponytails and other bits), it was just lonely. It was only in the early 90s (on AOL chat) where I learned there were other people not named Ru Paul that felt the way I did.

/hugs

Not really sure I can add more, but sympathy I can give to you :3

---

Right so on this episode of Omega shares her life story, I had an interesting run in last night/technically today. I met what would I describe to be the first... well, issue I had on campus in terms of tolerance. It's really not that big of a deal; it actually has a happy ending and I don't really feel traumatized or even that hurt (I do believe he was just taking a joke too far and didn't know when to stop), but I guess its still a (negative) milestone I want to talk to talk about.

So I came back from my political science club in a skirt. I change into more femmy clothes when I get to the club meeting, and usually I spend the thursday night in them even when I walk back to my dorm. It helps me be sane about my body, and I looked foward to it every meeting (yesterday was the last meeting D:)

I saw some of my friends in the common room, and I wanted to drop in and say hi. Immediately, a kid I did not notice in the room starts chanting Trump over and over again, and is trying to gaude me into fighting with him. I just called him a neck beard (it was the first insult that came into my mind, I was kind of embarrased even at myself :cringe:) and walked into my dorm and changed back into shorts. This is because I was planning on going to the school store to pick up some of that new Mountain Dew Pitch Black (I HAVE WAITED A DECADE FOR IT TO RETURN. IT BETTER WIN THE VOTE TO STAY >:c), and I would have felt awkward going in there in a skirt.

Now, I return with the sodas and some fries, and go bring it into my room. The sodas shook a lot as I was transporting it to my room, so I grabbed one of the cans to go to the common room so I could open it over the sink in case it exploded (it foamed but didn't explode). This was a mistake. The guy continued to chant Trump at me, which I just tried to ignore him as I opened the soda, and then he asked me who I supported (I to this day don't know why he wanted to pick a political argument with me. Maybe because I have the reputation of being the political science major?). I told him "you shutting up," and tried walking out with my opened soda. There, he said "Well I see you like penis", which I just shrugged to as I walked out.

A little bit later he knocked on my door to apologize, especially about the penis comment. He did seem really remorseful, especially after I explained to him that I was trans and in fact did have a boyfriend. I like to imagine my friends chewed at him after I left the second time, but tbh I don't know what went down for certain. However, I do know that he seemed pretty accepting of me now, and that the past is the past and I'm not going to get hung over it.

So yeah, that was an experience. :crazyeye:
 
So Laverne Cox was speaking in Northern New York last night. Below is a pic of my daughter asking a question during the discussion. I get the sense that my daughter is becoming quite political regarding the cause. So my question is whether any of you feel the calling/ need to advocate/ become politically involved in advancing the LGBT agenda?


D
 

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Right so on this episode of Omega shares her life story, I had an interesting run in last night/technically today. I met what would I describe to be the first... well, issue I had on campus in terms of tolerance.

I'm a bit confused about your story. Firstly you say you don't know why he was trying to goad you in the first place, but suspect it may be because you have some reputation as a political science major (and indeed, just got back from a political science club meeting). Given the nature of the goading it would seem plausible that this is the motivation, not you being trans.

Then later you say you explained to him that you were trans, which kind of implies that he didn't even know that before this point. And then there's the whole "I see you like penis" thing which I don't get at all and seemed to come out of nowhere. Because the foaming soda bottle was a phallic symbol? I genuinely didn't get what was going on there.

So yeah... he definitely seemed intolerant (or at least just an immature dick), but it's not quite clear WHAT he was being intolerant of. It's not even that clear what YOU are claiming he was intolerant of.
 
I'm a bit confused about your story. Firstly you say you don't know why he was trying to goad you in the first place, but suspect it may be because you have some reputation as a political science major (and indeed, just got back from a political science club meeting). Given the nature of the goading it would seem plausible that this is the motivation, not you being trans.

Then later you say you explained to him that you were trans, which kind of implies that he didn't even know that before this point. And then there's the whole "I see you like penis" thing which I don't get at all and seemed to come out of nowhere. Because the foaming soda bottle was a phallic symbol? I genuinely didn't get what was going on there.

So yeah... he definitely seemed intolerant (or at least just an immature dick), but it's not quite clear WHAT he was being intolerant of. It's not even that clear what YOU are claiming he was intolerant of.
Boys treating ladies awfully.
 
So Laverne Cox was speaking in Northern New York last night. Below is a pic of my daughter asking a question during the discussion. I get the sense that my daughter is becoming quite political regarding the cause. So my question is whether any of you feel the calling/ need to advocate/ become politically involved in advancing the LGBT agenda?

YES.

I mean, I am a political scientist by major, so yeah I already have an interest in politics and the political field. However, LGBT issues directly effect me as an indiviual, so I don't find it unusual that I find LGBT issues (especially T issues, which unfortunately are not as well protected as LGB) to be one of my biggest planks on my individual platform so to speak.

My ultimate goal is to one day go into politics myself, to fight for all the causes that I believe in. Trans issues will be certainly one of those things I want; right now New York does not specifically prohibit discrimination based on gender identity and I know proposing a bill protecting gender identity would be one of the very first bills I would sponsor and propose. Even if I was more of a town board position, I'd at least like to be able to help the trans people in my specific town?

I'm a bit confused about your story. Firstly you say you don't know why he was trying to goad you in the first place, but suspect it may be because you have some reputation as a political science major (and indeed, just got back from a political science club meeting). Given the nature of the goading it would seem plausible that this is the motivation, not you being trans.

Did you forget the "walked in wearing a skirt" part? Because I hope you realize that most men tend to not wear skirts (unless you live in Scotland, which I don't).

Then later you say you explained to him that you were trans, which kind of implies that he didn't even know that before this point. And then there's the whole "I see you like penis" thing which I don't get at all and seemed to come out of nowhere. Because the foaming soda bottle was a phallic symbol? I genuinely didn't get what was going on there.

What. Just..... What. How could you even type something like that and even have that make sense in your mind? That is a serious question I am sincerely asking you. How would one even get "soda" to "phallic image". Why would anyone of sound mind ever even try to imply such a thing. I don't know if I should be insulted that you think I was trying to insinuate that. Also:

Did you forget the "walked in wearing a skirt" part? Because I hope you realize that most men tend to not wear skirts (unless you live in Scotland, which I don't).

So yeah... he definitely seemed intolerant (or at least just an immature dick), but it's not quite clear WHAT he was being intolerant of. It's not even that clear what YOU are claiming he was intolerant of.

You seem to be the only person who has an issue with it. I showed this story to folks on IOT and RL and they all knew exactly what I meant. TBH its on your end, not mine :dunno:

That being said, it was pretty clear he was being intolerant of me dressing femininely. Because most men don't tend to wear girl's clothes. It's not that hard of a concept to grasp. At all. Like "why does this miscommunication even exist are you just intentionally trying to be daft" not that hard.
 
Okay so my next question is - are you this self-important and unlikeable in real life?

I was asking a sincere question because I didn't understand what was going on in your story. No, I didn't miss the part where you walked in in a skirt, but having no idea what you look like I have no idea if you "pass" or not, so I have literally no idea what this complete stranger thought about you. The only clue I had, as I stated, was that later on you say you explained to him that you were trans, implying that he didn't realise that. Which could quite easily have meant that he just saw you as female all along. In which case maybe his intolerance was just of women in general, as Vectors seemed to think. Or it could have been that he's right wing and saw you as left wing because of your major, as YOU also suggested in your story. At no point was it clear (to me) that he was being transphobic, particularly as you implied that he didn't even know you were trans until the end of the story.

The soda thing was just me trying to come up with an explanation of the "well I see you like penis" comment because it seemed like a total non-sequitur to me. I'm so sorry that this makes me appear not of "sound mind" to you.

I mean... you tell a story that I don't quite follow, I ask you for clarification, and you just go off on one at me as if me not getting it is some personal insult. If you don't want to explain a story you told to the slow boy then that's your choice, but there's no reason to treat a request for an explanation with such hostility and scorn. And perhaps I am being particularly obtuse here, but to just say it's "on me" and talk to me like a piece of crap isn't a particularly endearing response on your part.

Moderator Action: "Okay so my next question is - are you this self-important and unlikeable in real life?" <-- Completely unacceptable in general, but especially in an RD Q&A thread like this one. 5 day ban.
Please read the forum rules: http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=422889
 
So Laverne Cox was speaking in Northern New York last night. Below is a pic of my daughter asking a question during the discussion. I get the sense that my daughter is becoming quite political regarding the cause. So my question is whether any of you feel the calling/ need to advocate/ become politically involved in advancing the LGBT agenda?


D

Yes I'm quite active. I've posted previously in this thread (I think) and in Ask A Red about gender stuff as it relates to anti-capitalism and LGBT liberation. I write about it a lot and I'm active both in a party and in other organizations that forward an LGBT Liberation agenda as part of their socialist/communist political agenda.
 
This raised an interesting couple of questions for me. Did either of you (contre/Omega) find any support groups, and did you find them helpful? And I think you're both young enough to never have been without an internet, but did you find knowing there's other similarly-afflicted folks out in the world to be helpful?

For me, growing up and having some of the same sense as Omega (specifically in the quoted line, and feeling the same way about skirts and ponytails and other bits), it was just lonely. It was only in the early 90s (on AOL chat) where I learned there were other people not named Ru Paul that felt the way I did.

Yes, I found a support group here in Ottawa and joined it. I found it immensely helpful, to the extent that I can't capture how meaningful it was in words. I met people who were like me but were also so very not like me at all. I disliked the majority of them, which is something in turn I liked about them. You're able to just leave this one big piece of baggage at the door and you can stop thinking about your mannerisms, and and your voice, and your laugh, and what you say, and you just flow. That encouraged me to explore dress. That boosted my confidence to dress differently every day. That encouraged me to start HRT...

tl;dr: it helped me put gender identity into perspective and helped me see that transitioning wouldn't kill off what I liked about myself.

For others, I've seen, it's a useless experience.

So Laverne Cox was speaking in Northern New York last night. Below is a pic of my daughter asking a question during the discussion. I get the sense that my daughter is becoming quite political regarding the cause. So my question is whether any of you feel the calling/ need to advocate/ become politically involved in advancing the LGBT agenda?


D

First, your daughter's pretty damn brave. Like, I couldn't do that. So kudos, you should be proud.

I live in a society that's in a different place than most of the US. There's not really any legal obstacles left. My fight's not about having rights acknowledged, but about explaining why it matters. I want a more accepting society not just for myself, but for all the people who would benefit if they didn't fear the social side transitioning. I have nothing to base this on other than my experience, but I suspect trans people are the minority of people with gender dysphoria. I suspect the number of people with gender dysphoria is much larger than the number of people who could put a name to what they feel.
 
contre said:
I suspect trans people are the minority of people with gender dysphoria. I suspect the number of people with gender dysphoria is much larger than the number of people who could put a name to what they feel.

Wow, food for thought. Gender expression is definitely next after the conversation shifts in a few years (months?).
 
Yes, I found a support group here in Ottawa and joined it. I found it immensely helpful, to the extent that I can't capture how meaningful it was in words. I met people who were like me but were also so very not like me at all. I disliked the majority of them, which is something in turn I liked about them. You're able to just leave this one big piece of baggage at the door and you can stop thinking about your mannerisms, and and your voice, and your laugh, and what you say, and you just flow. That encouraged me to explore dress. That boosted my confidence to dress differently every day. That encouraged me to start HRT...

tl;dr: it helped me put gender identity into perspective and helped me see that transitioning wouldn't kill off what I liked about myself.

For others, I've seen, it's a useless experience.

That's awesome (other than the useless experience part, I guess).

I have nothing to base this on other than my experience, but I suspect trans people are the minority of people with gender dysphoria. I suspect the number of people with gender dysphoria is much larger than the number of people who could put a name to what they feel.

Wow, food for thought. Gender expression is definitely next after the conversation shifts in a few years (months?).

Are you using the DSM5 definition of gender dysphoria, which is to say
wikipedia said:
The official reclassification as gender dysphoria in the DSM-5 may help resolve some of these issues, because the term gender dysphoria applies only to the discontent experienced by some persons resulting from gender identity issues.

"Discontent" is probably a good word for it. And another clarification: 'trans' meaning transgender, distinct from 'trans'vestite?
 
"Discontent" is probably a good word for it. And another clarification: 'trans' meaning transgender, distinct from 'trans'vestite?

Transvestite isnt really used anymore by the genderqueer community itself iirc. Too much negative history with the term. Crossdresser is the accepted term. At least from my understanding; im not part of that community myself and the only crossdresser I knkw doesnt really talk much about it to me.
 
To be more specific, I think the discussion of gender dysphoria as an feeling experienced by a larger population will inevitably tie in with the discussion about gender expression.
 
To be more specific, I think the discussion of gender dysphoria as an feeling experienced by a larger population will inevitably tie in with the discussion about gender expression.

I'd hope it'd tie into a discussion on mental health in general. To put it morbidly, if I'd killed myself two years ago, my wife woulda cremated her husband. I wouldn't've been counted. The underlying issue though would have been dysphoria.
 
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