[RD] I'm transitioning. If you've ever been confused about the T in LGBT, ask me anything

[Borachio]

Eh?

Yes. Yes, I would like to ask a question.

 

[Antilogic]

It's such a murky process that it's hard to pin down. In a simplified version, the clinical standard follows a pretty linear path.

Not all doctors will do HRT. Many cannot afford to see a doctor who will start HRT. Many doctors who will start HRT require one of two things: the patient has lived for some amount of time as the gender they identify as (I normally saw 3 months) or they've had a qualified mental health professional recommend the patient start HRT... and that'll also be at least 3 months of counseling. A few doctors, more in the US than here, practice Informed Consent and let the patient decide what to do. So if someone has access to an informed consent clinic, they can start HRT tomorrow. I had to wait 5 months (3 months therapist + 1 month referral for Endocrinologist + 1 month for various tests).

If your goal is SRS, it's going to be at least 24 (more like 36) months more from this point. That assumes you have access to the resources, but not enough to bribe unethical doctors. That 24 months breaks down roughly as follows. It will take a few months to stabilize your hormone levels. Once that is done the standard would be to allow HRT at least 1 year to work before considering SRS.* In practice, most professionals would want to see evidence that your body had finished responding to hormones or that you'd give it 2 years to do so. At this point you'll start doing preliminary work for a major surgical operation that includes month, at least, of recovery.

So to answer your question, a quick timeline would be three years for SRS, and an exceptional one two years, assuming access to the resources to meet that schedule. That's a big assumption.

*To skip that, you would really need to bribe someone or be an exceptional case. Surgeons require letters from qualified professionals before they'll do anything. Qualified is not an arbitrary term -- doctors (and insurers) need some confidence they're not going to get sued by someone who changes their mind, or that they have a good defense against such a lawsuit. It would be very very unusual for a qualified professional to sign off SRS before this point.

I didn't realize there was such a long time period in that transitioning period, but I suppose that makes sense. Is bribery (or other unethical "accelerators" for the lack of a better term) common for professionals that offer HRT or SRS?

To clarify a bit on what I meant by a linear process, I'm asking that if you start off as 0% transitioned, and there is some time at which you are 100% transitioned, does HRT transition you, say, 2% per month over 50 months (just using round numbers for convenience), or does it incrementally ramp up from 0.5% in the first month and it ramps up to like 4% in the last? Or, based on what you said about stabilization, do you see a giant 10% change in the first few months and then smaller 0.5% changes in the last few?

 

[emzie]

Eh?

Yes. Yes, I would like to ask a question.

We await it. Until such time as you're able to articulate your thoughts, however, please refrain from sharing observations irrelevant to this thread. At the time of posting, there are 65,839 threads on OT just dying for a cis-male viewpoint. You should offer your insights in a more appropriate discussion.

 

[emzie]

I didn't realize there was such a long time period in that transitioning period, but I suppose that makes sense. Is bribery (or other unethical "accelerators" for the lack of a better term) common for professionals that offer HRT or SRS?

There are legitimate reasons to speed up the process, but it's notable how often those reasons seem to be valid when someone is well off. If you have enough money, you're going to find the best experts, and the best is going to be the experts who agree with you.

To clarify a bit on what I meant by a linear process, I'm asking that if you start off as 0% transitioned, and there is some time at which you are 100% transitioned, does HRT transition you, say, 2% per month over 50 months (just using round numbers for convenience), or does it incrementally ramp up from 0.5% in the first month and it ramps up to like 4% in the last? Or, based on what you said about stabilization, do you see a giant 10% change in the first few months and then smaller 0.5% changes in the last few?

There's a bunch of different variables that change in transition, and each one changes at its own rate. If you lined up each variable's change over time, it'd make a unique pattern. In aggregate, something's always happening and it's always a surprise what it'll be next ^.^

 

[cardgame]

Did you notice yourself losing muscle strength and/or mass after a while on HRT?

 

[Vectors]

Please forgive me Contre if you consider this an intrusion on your thread

So, here's a question that might have already been asked but I'm late to the thread:

How long does it take you to transition? Is it kind of a consistent and linear process, or does it go faster or slower at the beginning or end of the time period?

It really depends on what the end goal of transitioning is, for some they want hormones and SRS, others want just hormones, some can't do SRS for medical reasons, others can't do hormones.

Exactly. If you know the genitals of someone else in the bathroom, you're the one doing something inappropriate.

I obviously think it's important to fight for the right of transgender people (and thus all people) to go to the bathroom wherever they feel comfortable.

If you don't want to poop next to a trans person, the go poop at home, which is what people who don't like public restrooms already do.

The issue is not about transgender people per se, it is about men taking such a law and invading women's spaces claim the law gives them the right to be there.

I didn't realize there was such a long time period in that transitioning period, but I suppose that makes sense. Is bribery (or other unethical "accelerators" for the lack of a better term) common for professionals that offer HRT or SRS?

To clarify a bit on what I meant by a linear process, I'm asking that if you start off as 0% transitioned, and there is some time at which you are 100% transitioned, does HRT transition you, say, 2% per month over 50 months (just using round numbers for convenience), or does it incrementally ramp up from 0.5% in the first month and it ramps up to like 4% in the last? Or, based on what you said about stabilization, do you see a giant 10% change in the first few months and then smaller 0.5% changes in the last few?

For transwomen the hormones can be fairly easily ordered off the internet and for SRS you can go to Thailand and there are doctors who will do SRS without a recommendation letter from a psychologist.

Having seen multiple transwomen go on HRT how it affects their bodies varies depending upon individual, fat distribution beforehand, whether they gain or lose weight after starting. It of course also affects different things in different ways, for example fat redistribution happens slowly, but weight gained after reaching gender appropriate hormone levels tends to distribute as one would expect for their gender.

 

[useless]

Edit: Sorry!

 

[dusters]

Is there any foretellers if one may pass after 2-3 years of HRT based only on HRT?

I have read that starting hormones at age of 16 or earlier is generally the most promising case, but many countries don't diagnose transsexualism before 18, therefore one is stuck with starting HRT later.

Forgive me if I'm wrong, but the whole transition process sounds to me a bit like pulling a rabbit out of the box, unless a person has nearly unlimited money. If a mtf can't pass after transition her life may be ruined to a big extent, isn't this the case?

 

[Arakhor]

The issue is not about transgender people per se, it is about men taking such a law and invading women's spaces claim the law gives them the right to be there.

I was under the impression that (generally speaking) there are no laws prohibiting people from using the toilets that disagree with their sex. Why would people suddenly start doing this if a law was passed that explixitly said it wasn't illegal?

 

[Camikaze]

Moderator Action: As a general reminder, please heed Bootstoots' earlier warning.

Moderator Action: Reminder to all posters: this thread is here to ask questions to transgender people who wish to share their experiences. Arguments don't belong here. If you must argue about something that popped up in this thread, create your own thread and discuss it there.

Everyone should follow this guideline from the OP:

You are welcome to ask as many follow up questions as you would like. However, this thread is not a place for debate. If you're here to argue instead of listen, please do not post.

All further posts which seek to debate or argue will be infracted. You are welcome to debate or argue in other threads (to the extent that such argument complies with the forum rules).
Please read the forum rules: http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=422889

Moderator Action: To head it off at the pass, please heed the above warning.
Please read the forum rules: http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=422889

 

[Vectors]

What do you mean men? Do you honestly think cismales will start doing that?

From my interactions with conservatives I think they actually are indeed talking about cis males.

Is there any foretellers if one may pass after 2-3 years of HRT based only on HRT?

I have read that starting hormones at age of 16 or earlier is generally the most promising case, but many countries don't diagnose transsexualism before 18, therefore one is stuck with starting HRT later.

Forgive me if I'm wrong, but the whole transition process sounds to me a bit like pulling a rabbit out of the box, unless a person has nearly unlimited money. If a mtf can't pass after transition her life may be ruined to a big extent, isn't this the case?

HRT does near maximal change within 2 years generally.

Generally if you transition before 25 and don't have a very male physiology such as tall and broad shoulders, etc. You'll be able to pass.

It isn't about passing, it is about expressing one's gender identity, passing is nice because it makes you less vulnerable to abuse and the vast majority of women want to be pretty.

I was under the impression that (generally speaking) there are no laws prohibiting people from using the toilets that disagree with their sex. Why would people suddenly start doing this if a law was passed that explixitly said it wasn't illegal?

The general conservative argument is about locker rooms and showers more than bathrooms. There probably are things you could charge someone with like voyeurism.

 

[emzie]

Did you notice yourself losing muscle strength and/or mass after a while on HRT?

Changes in muscle mass happen on HRT (FtM gain, MtF lose). I've lost some weight, but I don't know if that's related.

Is there any foretellers if one may pass after 2-3 years of HRT based only on HRT?

I have read that starting hormones at age of 16 or earlier is generally the most promising case, but many countries don't diagnose transsexualism before 18, therefore one is stuck with starting HRT later.

Forgive me if I'm wrong, but the whole transition process sounds to me a bit like pulling a rabbit out of the box, unless a person has nearly unlimited money. If a mtf can't pass after transition her life may be ruined to a big extent, isn't this the case?

Well, first, the point of transitioning isn't to pass for other people, it's to tolerate your own existence. Transitions can go badly, and passing can be part of that, but if you're transitioning, you're starting from a very ruined place.

Before you start, you have a good idea of how you will look, at least facially.

Please forgive me Contre if you consider this an intrusion on your thread

It's not my thread, silly

 

[Omega124]

It's not my thread, silly

Yeah. It's my thread now.

 

[Cheezy the Wiz]

The issue is not about transgender people per se, it is about men taking such a law and invading women's spaces claim the law gives them the right to be there.

I mean you're basically admitting to throwing trans women under the bus in order to protect yourselves from men. If you force a trans woman to use the men's restroom then you're immediately outing them as trans, and that exposes them to far more danger than any cis woman ever faces.

At the time of posting, there are 65,839 threads on OT just dying for a cis-male viewpoint.

I love you.

 

[W|M]

contre is taken (and so is megs)

also upspook this

 

[Vectors]

I mean you're basically admitting to throwing trans women under the bus in order to protect yourselves from men. If you force a trans woman to use the men's restroom then you're immediately outing them as trans, and that exposes them to far more danger than any cis woman ever faces.



I love you.

It is not my opinion, it is the opinion of conservatives who I have interacted with. I do understand how it could make cis women uncomfortable to see a penis in the women's locker room or changing room given that many of those lack privacy.

 

[Antilogic]

Having seen multiple transwomen go on HRT how it affects their bodies varies depending upon individual, fat distribution beforehand, whether they gain or lose weight after starting. It of course also affects different things in different ways, for example fat redistribution happens slowly, but weight gained after reaching gender appropriate hormone levels tends to distribute as one would expect for their gender.

Changes in muscle mass happen on HRT (FtM gain, MtF lose). I've lost some weight, but I don't know if that's related.

I'm realizing I don't really have a frame of reference to understand this besides puberty. Do you all feel more awkward or clumsy while the transitioning is happening, or do you miss having that bit of extra strength? Like, are ordinary boxes or backpacks heavier for you?

 

[Omega124]

It is not my opinion, it is the opinion of conservatives who I have interacted with. I do understand how it could make cis women uncomfortable to see a penis in the women's locker room or changing room given that many of those lack privacy.

To be honest, seeing people naked in the locker room makes me uncomfortable, no matter who the gender is. We're all in there for a specific buisness, however, and we don't go around having orgies just because we temporary expose our dongers and honeypots.

It's making a fuss over a complete non-issue. Creeps are rare, and they'll be dealt with accordingly. No need to oppress people because of incorrect biases over such rare incidents, however.

 

[Lexicus]

It's making a fuss over a complete non-issue. Creeps are rare, and they'll be dealt with accordingly. No need to oppress people because of incorrect biases over such rare incidents, however.

It's such an odd thing to get worked up over. I mean, there is at least a certain (completely silly, of course) logic to the "we don't want to make a wedding cake for a gay couple." But this bathroom stuff just seems like being mean for its own sake.

Of course, I think the situation was summed up perfectly by this tweet:

 

[Omega124]

So one of my friends asked me (in jest) a sort of farcical question on a different part of the site, which I think is a pretty damn interesting question. So, I've decided to quote it here and answer it, because why not?

Regarding the other thing… hang in there. You're still a human being, even if for some reason I, a 100%™ heterosexual male on the Internetz, can't fathom why anyone would become a woman. (cheer up!) In fact, do women really exist?

Well, the obvious answer is "dysphoria". I hate my body, I feel consstantly depressed being in it, and its simply not who I am. I believe I already established that numerous times earlier in the thread so I won't go too much into detail.

But what I find interesting is the answer beyond the immediate one. What is so alluring about being female to me? It's not like I hate my body and gender role simply because of general low self-esteem (I mean I do have issues with it sometimes but that's not the reason); just as much as I hate my male self, there's many things I love about being female. This is a non-exhaustive list of things of why I want to be a woman, beyond dysphoria:

Clothing. I've said it times before that I've always loved skirts and dresses. Now that I've gotten the chance to try them on and wear them (even in public a few times!), I never want to go back to pants again. Not only do they look pretty and cute, but they feel more comfortable as well. And its not just skirts either; women's fashion is in general just better looking to me than men's. I prefer and love women's suits (lack of a tie is probably a big reason tbh ), jeans, coats, and just really in general the more options girls have for choices than men do. About the only issue I have is that women's t shirts are just weird. TBH I still see myself wearing men's even after I transition; they just feel less likely to rip and I don't like the cleavage women's can show.

But yeah seriously. I do plan on going 100% skirt based clothing when I'm a girl. They rock ^_^

Anatomy. I don't really feel too comfortable going into excessive detail over this, but let's just say I perfer having girl parts than guy parts, since in general I like to be the submissive/bottom in sex. Moving on.

Terminology. It's pretty weird, but simply being called woman, girl, she, etc, does a tremendous effect on my psyche. Hell, sometimes I kind of prefer being called "woman" over "Megan"*

Its a feeling I don't think I know how to explain to someone who is cisgender, to be honest. The best I can probably do is if imagine everyone called you a wrong name (not necessarily a bad name, mind you, just wrong), but then your friends start calling you by what you prefer. IOT has been calling me with female terminology for almost two years now and tbh I still get happy and can't believe it.

Hair. OK this one isn't as clear cut as the others, because in some cases I really do miss my buzz cut. Very low maintenance, very utilitarian, and it did make me look tough. Also my hair is a curly mess, which I hate, since I don't have a straightener and I much prefer straight hair.

That being said, one time earlier this semester this girl did my hair for me and I looked amazing. Absolutely adorable. Combined with a skirt, you could almost see the girl coming out of me. I wanted something simple to start with since I didn't want to attract too much attention, but what I really want to try is a ponytail.

General Appearance. To me, girls just look better than guys. Like, when I look at a cute girl, sometimes I don't know if I'm attracted to her or jealous of her body/outfit. Probably both at the same time. I want it for myself, and one day I really hope I will.

Honestly, I can't think of any real, quantifiable drawbacks of being a woman specifically (being a TRANSwoman, yes, but that's not the question). Sure, "male privilege", but to be honest its hard for me to really think of examples where I benefit by being male (perhaps my stubborn, unyielding personality is more readily accepted? But its not like its really accepted to begin with). Hell, I usually sat to pee even before I identified as trans.

It just would make the world to me in so many issues, both big and small, while the drawbacks are hard to quantify at best and are enigmously byzantine to define at worst (if they don't outright not exist). It's the trans part that adds so much issue, that causes people like me to hesitate to come out and transition. But to be a woman by itself, I'm certain I want that.

*As in, "Get over here, woman" vs "Get over here, Megan".