Is it okay to use a coupon on a date?

[downtown]

So I took a girl out to a blues club last weekend, and I paid for it with a Groupon that I picked up a few weeks ago. I go to blues clubs fairly often, and why pay more than I have to right? I didn't make a big deal of it, and she didn't really seem to care...because hey, cheap drinks!

When I mentioned this to a few of my friends later though, a few thought this was a terrible move. It shows you're cheap! they said. If you have to use a coupon, pick a different, cheaper place...and if you have to do it, don't do it on date two!. I suspect my friends make more money than I do.

Personally, I think if a girl gets hung up on how I'm paying for stuff...I don't want to pay for her stuff! (unless I paid for dinner with cocaine-laced dollar bills from a briefcase. That might warrant suspicion)

So what do you think? Is it okay to use a coupon? Does it depend on the coupon? After what date is it okay to use a coupon? Are there other date-related financial etiquette rules?

Poll coming yo

 

[Thoughtful Thug]

If she react unfavorably, then do you want to be with someone who is that shallow? I wouldn't.

 

[NickyJ]

Agreed, Thoughtful Thug. Does a coupon really make the food taste that much worse?

 

[SS-18 ICBM]

I honestly want to see the reasoning of those who think it's not okay to do so. And the mindsets of both them and their dates.

 

[cegman]

It isn't a problem. Any girl that doesn't want you to use a coupon is going to cost you a lot more than she is worth.

 

[Kozmos]

Didn't we have this discussion before? Somebody strike again...

 

[Boundless]

Use the coupon. Who cares? Shows you have initiative!

 

[Zelig]

I make my dates pay for our excursions.

I'm worth it.

 

[bathsheba666]

If she accepts coupons, why not ?

 

[Takhisis]

You've gotten the coupon from somewhere, so it shows you're moving around… it's your money anyway. If you're not using the coupon on the date then you're using it to buy something else anyway, right?

If it's your friends who're complaining, not your date, then i guess they just think they have a need to prove how big their willy, I mean, wallet, is.

 

[warpus]

I started this exact thread a year ago or so..

which reminds me.. I haven't used ANY of those coupons I was asking about

 

[Mark1031]

Well first off I haven’t been on a date in 20 yrs (I’m old and married) but I would say probably not. it is not fair and doesn’t make sense but there are many things about male-female relationships that don’t make sense. Don’t be too interested too soon but don’t be too cold. Open up and talk about your feelings-but not too much, never appear too needy. It is perfectly reasonable to use a coupon to save money but I think even if only subconsciously it makes you appear cheap- a negative. Somewhere deep in their brains women are judging you on your ability to provide for her offspring. Now you could argue that being financially prudent should be a plus for this but I think it comes out subconsciously like-he won’t spring for Connor’s violin lessons unless he finds a coupon. It makes no sense but that is my take.

 

[Defiant47]

As in the social world, the dating world is no different in that the validity or invalidity of an action is irrelevant. The perception of that action is what is truly important.

We can talk all we want about the utility of using coupons and how their use should not reflect unfavourably even in a date situation... but at the end of the day what matters is that in our society, they tend to do so. So you're forced with a disadvantageous choice in order to obey societal norms and maintain a favourable date status.

Just like you'll have a greater chance of going home with a girl if you directly start grinding with her in the club, rather than trying to sweet-talk and be a nice guy treating her with respect, the same counter-intuitive counter-logical ideas apply in general.

Naturally, we then get into the issue of establishing an objective of finding a girl with certain limiting traits, rather than any girl at all, which would warrant an approach that would be less effective on most of the population simply for the purposes of filtering out the unwanted characteristics.

However, I would venture to say that the societal disdain of using coupons on a date (especially a first to third date) would affect even the type of girls that are desirable, and applying a similar filter would result in too many preferential candidates to be disenchanted regardless.

TL;DR
It sucks, but that's how our society is, and if you want a good girl, you'll have to abide by these silly rules. Yes, even a good girl might get turned off simply because of the pervasiveness of these cultural views.

 

[NovaKart]

I don't see how it matters either way. It may be a negative to a lot of women but I doubt it would be a dealbreaker either.

 

[Defiant47]

I don't see how it matters either way. It may be a negative to a lot of women but I doubt it would be a dealbreaker either.

Every little bit counts.

Dating is mostly a hit-and-miss situation in terms of reality. You're both trying to show each other how awesome you are, but only certain things come out at first. If you're unlucky for most of those things to be unnaturally high in the unfavourable sense, then you're gonna be out of luck with your date.

 

[Wolfbeckett]

Man, EVERYONE uses Groupon nowadays, I really don't think this is a big deal. I can see how it might bother some people but anyone who would get hung up on it is not someone I want to spend any time with.

 

[Defiant47]

Man, EVERYONE uses Groupon nowadays, I really don't think this is a big deal. I can see how it might bother some people but anyone who would get hung up on it is not someone I want to spend any time with.

I think a notable exception would be a groupon if you end up going with another couple as well. Then it becomes an excuse to bring the two couples together for going out, rather than simply a reasoning of saving money.

"I have this groupon, we should all go to this thing and have fun!" rather than "I have this coupon, hold on so I can use it and save money."

Thinking on it, it might come from a more underlying issue of females finding money and social status attractive. A woman is very turned on by a guy who waves away costs and expenses as if they're nothing, because he's so rich. A man using coupons would elicit the opposite reaction unfortunately.

 

[MobBoss]

So I took a girl out to a blues club last weekend, and I paid for it with a Groupon that I picked up a few weeks ago. I go to blues clubs fairly often, and why pay more than I have to right? I didn't make a big deal of it, and she didn't really seem to care...because hey, cheap drinks!

When I mentioned this to a few of my friends later though, a few thought this was a terrible move. It shows you're cheap! they said. If you have to use a coupon, pick a different, cheaper place...and if you have to do it, don't do it on date two!. I suspect my friends make more money than I do.

Personally, I think if a girl gets hung up on how I'm paying for stuff...I don't want to pay for her stuff! (unless I paid for dinner with cocaine-laced dollar bills from a briefcase. That might warrant suspicion)

So what do you think? Is it okay to use a coupon? Does it depend on the coupon? After what date is it okay to use a coupon? Are there other date-related financial etiquette rules?

Poll coming yo

These days, with the economy being what it is, I dont think it means your're cheap, it means you are thrifty and dollar conscious.

Btw, if you think your dates going to freak out about then just be discrete about it.

But there is nothing wrong with using a coupon for a date.

 

[sophie]

Nothing wrong with doing it at all.

I still wouldn't do it though.

 

[SuperJay]

If she accepts coupons, why not ?

Well played.