I'm sensing a conspiracy here.
There's definitely, probably, not a conspiracy. Maybe.
Kids
- Thread starter ELITEOFWARMAN8
- Start date
There's definitely, probably, not a conspiracy. Maybe.
Phrossack
Armored Fish and Armored Men
- Joined
- Oct 26, 2008
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- 6,045
Kids seem like an enormous hassle, especially since I like peace, quiet, solitude, and not having to be responsible for others (pets don't count). But I don't want to die without first having a family of my own.
...And if the country goes to hell like Disgustipated thinks, then, of course, we'll all turn to banditry.
...And if the country goes to hell like Disgustipated thinks, then, of course, we'll all turn to banditry.
Zack
99% hot gas
Oh God pets are like kids with none of the benefits.
Phrossack
Armored Fish and Armored Men
- Joined
- Oct 26, 2008
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- 6,045
Dogs are exceptionally easy to care for and are the best of companions, though I highly doubt they're anywhere near as "fulfilling" as children and they tragically tend to die after a little over a decade.
But they're nowhere near as high-maintenance as people. Some housetraining, obedience training, spaying/neutering, vet appointments, two bowls of food and some water every day, the occasional walk, shelter, something to sleep on, and affection are all they need. Kids are necessarily more demanding.
- Joined
- Mar 17, 2007
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- 9,316
Long-term, I'm not sure, but definitely not in the near-term. There's a lot of responsibility, and I'm not ready for that yet. I could probably handle a cat or a hearty fish, but not both in the same house, and not a kid. There's also a lot that I want to do before that (I've hardly been financially independent a year), and of course I'd want to be in a committed long-term relationship before that.
I have one friend now who is a parent, and I'm sure I'll have more over the next several years. I'll discuss it with them and decide in the future
.
I have one friend now who is a parent, and I'm sure I'll have more over the next several years. I'll discuss it with them and decide in the future
.
Farm Boy
I hope you dance
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Hygro
soundcloud.com/hygro/
I don't plan on waiting that long to start having kids once I find the right woman. Biologically I'd be smart finding a younger gal too. The trick is to find one smart and educated who doesn't believe in that "start your career and then have kids" bit--recent surveying suggests women if they want kids should have them early and rock their careers as their kids grow up, instead of the other way.
LucyDuke
staring at the clock
How does surveying suggest that?
Hygro
soundcloud.com/hygro/
oi where's that website... it seemed pretty good when I read a number of the articles, even if it wasn't necessarily true it was a great perspective.
long story short, though, that was one of the more optimal solutions as waiting to have kids meant putting a career on the slow lane during a pretty important juncture--particularly for the entrepreneurially minded. The author's point, some woman whose agenda I didn't spend too much time to check out, was that have kids young when you're healthy, get your gig going on the slow, and then when you can boot them out around the time you're in your early mid forties, you bang out your career on full blast, taking advantage of the credibility of the age mixed with sufficient youthful energy for a career mixed with the previous accomplishments of the less intense career you kept trucking while raising kids (btw raising kids was by no means supposed to be on the woman, but as this was about the general state of relationships, even families trying to split it 50-50, women do end up doing the majority of the work).
The same author, collecting other surveys and "studies" (which are surveys) and synthesizing their material with other data, suggested that that sort of woman would be wise to spend her 20s (including early 20s) looking for a partner and probably one a number of years older, like 5-10 or something, who is already going in his gig.
Anyway, women can and should do whatever they want, but I thought it was an interesting perspective because I never heard such a thing coming from someone trying to promote women's independence and equality. Kind of the progression and/or backlash to the previous generation of parents in their late 50s when their kids are graduating high school.
long story short, though, that was one of the more optimal solutions as waiting to have kids meant putting a career on the slow lane during a pretty important juncture--particularly for the entrepreneurially minded. The author's point, some woman whose agenda I didn't spend too much time to check out, was that have kids young when you're healthy, get your gig going on the slow, and then when you can boot them out around the time you're in your early mid forties, you bang out your career on full blast, taking advantage of the credibility of the age mixed with sufficient youthful energy for a career mixed with the previous accomplishments of the less intense career you kept trucking while raising kids (btw raising kids was by no means supposed to be on the woman, but as this was about the general state of relationships, even families trying to split it 50-50, women do end up doing the majority of the work).
The same author, collecting other surveys and "studies" (which are surveys) and synthesizing their material with other data, suggested that that sort of woman would be wise to spend her 20s (including early 20s) looking for a partner and probably one a number of years older, like 5-10 or something, who is already going in his gig.
Anyway, women can and should do whatever they want, but I thought it was an interesting perspective because I never heard such a thing coming from someone trying to promote women's independence and equality. Kind of the progression and/or backlash to the previous generation of parents in their late 50s when their kids are graduating high school.
LucyDuke
staring at the clock
Okay, the way you described that in your first post just threw me off. The suggestion sounds reasonable in general.
Hygro
soundcloud.com/hygro/
yeah I wrote that pretty poorly.
filli_noctus
Hmmn
- Joined
- Nov 22, 2010
- Messages
- 2,221
Already got one, best thing to ever have happened to me. Not saying its' not been hard, my wife and I were planning to have our first night out in two years this weekend just gone when our daughter came down with gastro-enteritis and refused to let go of her mummy for five straight days. I've never been so worried but now she's smiling and playing again its' all forgotten.
I've always wanted kids but I never suspected just how good it is, however I never suspected how bad it can get until this week.
I've always wanted kids but I never suspected just how good it is, however I never suspected how bad it can get until this week.
Hygro
soundcloud.com/hygro/
When one of my uncles had a kid, my mom give him what he considered the best advice ever.
"If you're going to have a kid, have a second one. It makes it a lot easier."
Indeed, after that second kid, the entire generation of two kids was less work that just one. They watch after each other, play with each other, etc, and thus require less laboring and toiling from their parents.
"If you're going to have a kid, have a second one. It makes it a lot easier."
Indeed, after that second kid, the entire generation of two kids was less work that just one. They watch after each other, play with each other, etc, and thus require less laboring and toiling from their parents.
But be careful what you ask for. Having 3 kids in 2 years is certainly not easier than having just one (or even two!) In a year or two things will be better for me, and your mom’s advice may run true, but in the early years having more kids is more like an exponential increase in difficulty.
Of course having twins is its own challenge, especially with another toddler already running around!
The advice my Aunt gave me years ago is to never let them out number you. From experience, this is absolutely true.
Of course having twins is its own challenge, especially with another toddler already running around!
The advice my Aunt gave me years ago is to never let them out number you. From experience, this is absolutely true.
Farm Boy
I hope you dance
- Joined
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- 28,269
An incredibly wise and hardheaded man once told me if you have one, go for two. If you happen to lose a child you need another one around to keep you from losing it entirely. Still trying to let that sink in, as it's hard to contemplate seriously, but he's probably right.
Visorslash
Deity
In the future yes, now no.
cybrxkhan
Asian Xwedodah
Ideally I'd have 50 kids. Well, sort of kidding. In the most ideal situation within reason, I'd have 3 kids. Maybe 4 if I don't have enough daughters. I suppose I don't have a very "good" experience with only having one sibling, I feel as if it's too easy to pidgeonhole ourselves into a certain relationship. With 3 kids, at least they can backstab each other and switch alliances or something. Or, well, maybe it'd end up 2 or them team up on the weakest one. So maybe 4 or 5 or 6 is better for having pre-WWI style alliances.
Although in all seriousness I would prefer that they're close in age (so that they can more easily play with each other and hopefully if they're nice people help each other as they grow up) or very distant (so that the older one(s) can, assuming they're a good person, help raise and mentor the younger one(s)). Having boy-girl twins would be nice, too.
But all this is wishful thinking. I'm sure if I do get kids I'll get something I didn't ask for.
Although in all seriousness I would prefer that they're close in age (so that they can more easily play with each other and hopefully if they're nice people help each other as they grow up) or very distant (so that the older one(s) can, assuming they're a good person, help raise and mentor the younger one(s)). Having boy-girl twins would be nice, too.
But all this is wishful thinking. I'm sure if I do get kids I'll get something I didn't ask for.
Hygro
soundcloud.com/hygro/
Well that third kid isn't going to make it easier
Twins... sounds tough! Especially in such a short amount of time. But yeah, get passed babies, and put in the patience when they are young and curious and irrational and needy, and it'll get smoother from here.
LucyDuke
staring at the clock
I don't have any siblings. Not that it doesn't have its benefits, but if I make or get a baby I'm gonna make or get at least one extra too.
You're celibate for life?
No kids here, celibacy makes that kind of hard.
You're celibate for life?
