Large Bacon heist

[dutchfire]

http://cultura.elpais.com/cultura/2016/03/11/actualidad/1457725322_716425.html
(I hope to find an English news story later)

Thieves have stolen 5 paintings by Francis Bacon, worth $30 million. The heist is supposed to have taken place last June, police have only now released the news. The robbery is supposed to have been done by absolute experts. Warpus was reported to be devastated by the news.

More serious question: How do you sell paintings that are so expensive and world famous? Was it a theft for hire by some sketchy billionaire?

 

[gay_Aleks]

So long as you bring home the Bacon...

 

[Kaitzilla]

Heh, I thought this thread was about the $100 million hackers stole from the Bangladesh government account at the NY Fed.
http://nypost.com/2016/03/07/bangladesh-bank-says-hackers-stole-100m-from-its-new-york-fed-account/

Never head of a Francis Bacon.
Must have been some good paintings for $30 million.

**Edit**
Holy crap, this guy paints like he's H.R. Giger's dad.

 

[warpus]

Thank God it's only paintings and not actual bacon, this could have been a lot worse

 

[Snerk]

I opened this thread for the sole purpose of making some pun and a warpus related joke.

Too late as usual

 

[Zkribbler]

Never heard of a Francis Bacon.

I've heard of the other Francis Bacon, but I had to wiki this guy. Ick, I wouldn't have his stuff in my house.

 

[Snerk]

If your name is Francis Bacon you should have the decency to live during the renaissance.

 

[gay_Aleks]

Well, you know, some paintings are meant to be viewed, and others to be stolen.

 

[warpus]

I gotta tell you guys about this party I went to on Saturday, it was this guy's on my street birthday party. He's friends with my parents, but my age, long story, but either way I showed up to pay my respects.

So this being a Polish party, all people brought was vodka and food. A lot of food. Slow cookers and trays full of food.

One thing I couldn't keep my hands off was this pork thing stuffed with a mushroom sauce, wrapped in bacon. When it was first presented to me all I saw was bacon. So obviously I loaded up my plate with the stuff, which was DELICIOUS. Everyone I saw making their way towards the hot food station, I told "The bacon thing is AMAZING". Everybody who tried it agreed with me. I eventually figured out who made the dish and asked my mom to befriend her and to steal the recipe. Or just get it. Well, this lady ended up walking up to us and now both me and my mom are getting the recipe. And the lady was touched that her dish was getting so much love - apparently this was the first time she has ever tried making it.

So there you go, the best pork dish ever made. And pretty soon I will have the recipe

 

[Martin Alvito]

More serious question: How do you sell paintings that are so expensive and world famous? Was it a theft for hire by some sketchy billionaire?

You don't. This is why art theft is stupid. Jewelry can be melted down and reset. Art, not so much.

A billionaire that wanted the paintings would be much smarter to just make an offer sufficiently staggering to induce a sale. Getting caught in possession of millions in stolen property is not a trivial offense, and even if said billionaire has political cover the paintings offer a convenient out for the politician(s) should the relationship sour.

 

[EnglishEdward]

You don't. This is why art theft is stupid. Jewelry can be melted down and reset. Art, not so much.

A billionaire that wanted the paintings would be much smarter to just make an offer sufficiently staggering to induce a sale. Getting caught in possession of millions in stolen property is not a trivial offense, and even if said billionaire has political cover the paintings offer a convenient out for the politician(s) should the relationship sour.

Quite so.


Waiting for the ransom note,

"Give us ??? in bitcoins or
your bacon gets
diced and smoked!"

 

[metalhead]

You don't. This is why art theft is stupid. Jewelry can be melted down and reset. Art, not so much.

A billionaire that wanted the paintings would be much smarter to just make an offer sufficiently staggering to induce a sale. Getting caught in possession of millions in stolen property is not a trivial offense, and even if said billionaire has political cover the paintings offer a convenient out for the politician(s) should the relationship sour.

Actually, they usually do end up sold. Typically, though, the thieves have to wait several years for the heat to be off, because buyers will not risk purchasing stolen paintings while they are being actively looked for. However, 10 or 20 years down the line, a buyer will be easy to find. I think there are jurisdictions which will give purchasers plausible deniability when they have stolen art, although when you get a painting by a famous painter with no provenance, you can pretty much assume it was stolen.

But then, the people who turn up with stolen art are A. filthy rich, and B. willing to return it in lieu of being prosecuted, so it will likely end up being a low-risk crime. I doubt many stolen paintings ever get recovered until the buyer dies anyways.

 

[warpus]

It seems to me that if you are connected enough you can get away with much more serious crimes, such as .. well, I don't want to mention it here, but it seems that the upper echelons of British society are all kiddie diddlers. Alright, so I said it. And as far as I know none of them are in jail. What's art theft compared to something like that? I wouldn't be surprised if "art collectors" who are well off pull stuff like this from time to time, or at least have connections to people who do, so that they can acquire famous art at a discount. And if I had said this 5 years ago it would have been fine to say "You watch too many movies dude", but these days.. I wouldn't be so sure.

 

[Zkribbler]

Ah, The Thomas Crown Affair Great movie! I prefer the Pierce Brosnan version to the Steve McQueen version.

 

[innonimatu]

I've heard of the other Francis Bacon, but I had to wiki this guy. Ick, I wouldn't have his stuff in my house.

I think it was a job by a three-letter agency - they want to try these paintings as a novel form of torture...

 

[Oerdin]

You figure they will find their way into a private collection.

 

[Kyriakos]

The authorities are focusing on a group of people with known sentiments against Bacon.

 

[Kyriakos]

Heh, I thought this thread was about the $100 million hackers stole from the Bangladesh government account at the NY Fed.
http://nypost.com/2016/03/07/bangladesh-bank-says-hackers-stole-100m-from-its-new-york-fed-account/

Never head of a Francis Bacon.
Must have been some good paintings for $30 million.

**Edit**
Holy crap, this guy paints like he's H.R. Giger's dad.

I think he paints like he creates work for the original (2008) Downfall horror adventure

 

[Zack]

I opened this thread for the sole purpose of making some pun and a warpus related joke.

Too late as usual

Knowledge is power, France is bacon.

 

[danjuno]

I feel conned because:
A. I thought this would be about an actual bacon heist
B. Instead of the Renaissance guy, it's some near-contemporary artist's painting that I'd pay art thieves not to leave in my house.