Let's Talk About Death

[Chazumi]

Hi there!

So, something we all face, as mortal men (and women) is death. I was hoping to get a general consensus on how you all feel about DEATH! Yep. We all are going to do it one day. Kick the bucket. Sleep with the fishes. Meet our maker. Etc, etc. So I have a few questions for you all about death. Feel free to answer all or most questions, just curious.

1) Do you fear death?
1a) Why do you fear death?

2) Do you feel you lived a full life if you died tomorrow?

3) Do you believe in an afterlife?

4) If you died tomorrow what would your biggest regret be?

5) If you had to guess, what age will you die?

6) Have you ever seen someone die?

7) Do you think modern civilizations reduction of exposure to death is a good thing? (i.e., most people die in hospitals and not at home etc)

8) How do you want your body to be handled after death? (cremation, buried, etc)

9) If you somehow knew that you were to die on a desert island and nobody would ever find your remains, would that bother you?

10) If you had a memorial or tombstone with a message for the following generations, what would it say?

Kind of random I got it. But, just curious how everyone feels. I will answer the following questions first and I look forward to reading yours!

Chazumi's answers:

1) I only fear death if I go in an extremely painful or traumatic way.

2) I believe I have lived a pretty good life if I were to go tomorrow.

3) I 75% do not believe in an afterlife, although I am agnostic, so I kind of hope there is one but don't believe it.

4) My biggest regret would be that I could not be there for most of my kids lives.

5) I am guessing (and hoping) that I live to be at least 70ish.

6) I have seen a lot of people die, sent several to their grave haha.

7) I think it's a good thing in a sense that it eases some pain, at the same time I think it also makes death unfamiliar to people and that it will affect them more dramatically than if they were used to it.

8) I want to be cremated and shot into space. I'm hoping that my DNA will eventually arrive 10,000 years later on a planet and create a new race

9) No that would not bother me (I'm dead), but I would hope that people knew I was dead and wouldn't be left wondering.

10) If I had a tombstone or memorial I would want it to say: "I can't believe I ate the whole thing". Kind of a lighthearted way to joke about something random... I don't want people to be too sad that I died.

Anywho. That's it! Thanks for taking my survey.

 

[Terxpahseyton]

1) Do you fear death?
Occasionally
1a) Why do you fear death?
Not sure how to put it. The thought of just ceasing to exist makes me feel lost. And that in a very terrible-dark-place-all-alone-hopelessness-desperation-kind-of way (though it is rare that I feel this full thrust of it, usually it is only a shadow of it). Other times, I don't really care. At those times, I am more focused on the moment than the continuity of my existence. And this is helped by the following train of thoughts
- Death is bad because it puts a stop to the continuity of my existence. But is there such a continuity in the first place? I arguably already died many times. Am I the same person "I" was 10 years ago? Hardly so. Arguably, this person is dead and I took its place. And I will also be dead long before this body will cease to function. It is perhaps preposterous to even take the "I" as real to begin with. One may also just deem it an illusion entirely which sorta keeps momentary statuses of consciousness in "shape".
And if there is just the moment - what concern is continuity?

- However, as intellectual intriguing this thought may be and as relaxing it can be to just live in the moment - in the end I seem to be a slave to natural urges utterly beyond "truth" or will. And at the end of the day I still don't want to die.

2) Do you feel you lived a full life if you died tomorrow?
Absolutely not. This world seems so packed with things to do and experience. Besides, I am very suspicious of the idea of a "full life". A good life, okay. But full? I think life is entirely too short to be full. Something is always missing. On the other hand, I am sure one can feel like nothing is missing. I don't feel that way and I don't expect to ever do. Though I also differentiate between being happy and feeling that nothing is missing. Perhaps it is just my way of looking at things that I never find things "saturated".

3) Do you believe in an afterlife?
No. I want to. But it just seems very implausible.

4) If you died tomorrow what would your biggest regret be?
That I didn't get to live more. 20s is not much of an age.

5) If you had to guess, what age will you die?
68

6) Have you ever seen someone die?
No

7) Do you think modern civilizations reduction of exposure to death is a good thing? (i.e., most people die in hospitals and not at home etc)
No

8) How do you want your body to be handled after death? (cremation, buried, etc)
I am not sure. This question never mattered much to me, but once I think about it I still find myself having an opinion and carrying a bit. I don't like the thought of a graveyard. Little box besides little box... it all seems so philistine and impersonal. I think I would like to ether be buried at some nice secluded place or in the garden of close ones or have my ash thrown into the sea.


9) If you somehow knew that you were to die on a desert island and nobody would ever find your remains, would that bother you?
No

10) If you had a memorial or tombstone with a message for the following generations, what would it say?
Something witty and original I hope. Though also very personal I think. Can't come up with it on the spot.

 

[Perfection]

Why do you say haha for #6?

 

[Chazumi]

Perf I'm glad you ask this question, and the answer is:

I guess it is what I was meant to do. People need to expire, and people need to play god. I don't have any other way of explaining this. Our individual governments deem people worthy of death, and I am that person, the one to bring them to death. I guess that's it... I don't know how else to explain that.

 

[El_Machinae]

I fear death because it has already robbed me of enough of my loved ones. I think there's a very good chance that a few more will be ripped from my unwilling fingers, too.

Nope, no afterlife.

 

[Perfection]

But why the haha? What's the element of humor you wish to convey?

 

[squadbroken]

1) Not in the philosophical sense, no. I find the idea kind of calming.
2) That concept doesn't really matter to me.
3) No.
4) I'd be dead, I wouldn't have any regrets.
5) Mid 50s at the latest. I'm not very healthy.
6) Not in person.
7) Possibly, but I'm not a psychologist and I have no idea what the real impact is.
8) Don't really care.
9) Nah.
10) see #8

 

[Tahuti]

1) No, not at all.

2) Yes.

3) Yes.

4) I'm not certain. I probably can't have any regret for things I cannot hope to reverse.

5) I can't.

6) Yes.

7) Not necessarily. it's perhaps a better telos to die 'proactively' (as the result of a course of action you decided to take, but couldn't have predicted its outcome, i.e. James Dean's road accident)

8) Cremation.

9) No.

10) I haven't made up my mind about that yet, so until I do, it would probably be silent should I die before that.

 

[SS-18 ICBM]

1) and 1a) I don't want to die. I want to keep learning and doing stuff. Not sure if that's what you mean by fear.

2) No.

3) No.

4) Not having a Nobel Prize.

5) Sometime after 60 years.

6) Not in person.

7) I don't see why it's a bad thing.

8) Cremate.

9) No, I'm more bothered by the fact that I'd spend time on a desert island.

10) Something about a person's most important legacy being what they contributed to human knowledge.

 

[Richard Cribb]

1) Do you fear death? Sometimes, yes.

1a) Why do you fear death? Because most likely I will then cease to exist, thus not being able to enjoy all the good things life has to offer; great music, good food, a beautiful woman etc.

2) Do you feel you lived a full life if you died tomorrow?Basically yes, even if there are of course things I still want to do.

3) Do you believe in an afterlife? Eternal recurrence is fascinating, but I regard all sorts of afterlife as highly unlikely.
4) If you died tomorrow what would your biggest regret be?
One of these three:
- My foolish choice of education.
- My lack of persistence in younger years to establish the reasons behind my bad health.
- My first marriage.

5) If you had to guess, what age will you die?
60.

6) Have you ever seen someone die?
Yes.

7) Do you think modern civilizations reduction of exposure to death is a good thing? (i.e., most people die in hospitals and not at home etc)
No.

8) How do you want your body to be handled after death? (cremation, buried, etc)
Cremation is just fine.

9) If you somehow knew that you were to die on a desert island and nobody would ever find your remains, would that bother you?
No.

10) If you had a memorial or tombstone with a message for the following generations, what would it say?
Elsk din skjebne (Love your fate).

 

[Desertsnow]

1) Do you fear death?
I do not fear death itself, but I do fear dying.
1a) Why do you fear death?
n/a

2) Do you feel you lived a full life if you died tomorrow?
No. Too much of my bucket list is still unfulfilled.

3) Do you believe in an afterlife?
Yes.

4) If you died tomorrow what would your biggest regret be?
No comment. Seriously, no comment. Ask me again in a couple years and I might reveal it, assuming, of course, that I don't die in the interim.

5) If you had to guess, what age will you die?
Either soon or at a very advanced age.

6) Have you ever seen someone die?
Yes. No further comment.

7) Do you think modern civilizations reduction of exposure to death is a good thing? (i.e., most people die in hospitals and not at home etc)
I don't know.

8) How do you want your body to be handled after death? (cremation, buried, etc)
Buried, without embalming. I'll have taken a lot out of this planet and I should give back at least myself.

9) If you somehow knew that you were to die on a desert island and nobody would ever find your remains, would that bother you?
Probably not. The boredom would.

10) If you had a memorial or tombstone with a message for the following generations, what would it say?
Don't say I didn't try.

 

[Kennigit]

1) Do you fear death?
not really. And I don't really fear a painful death (i.e. I don't worry about it) but I really don't want a painful death.

2) Do you feel you lived a full life if you died tomorrow?
no

3) Do you believe in an afterlife?
no

4) If you died tomorrow what would your biggest regret be?
see (2); haven't lived long enough. In both age and experience

5) If you had to guess, what age will you die?
84.

6) Have you ever seen someone die?
no.

*edit* well not in person. Everybody has seen some video clips, etc. Probably the most relevant one was the r. budd dwyer youtube video; he was a politician that shot himself live on air. That one was up close and the blood poured out pretty quickly.

7) Do you think modern civilizations reduction of exposure to death is a good thing? (i.e., most people die in hospitals and not at home etc)
citation needed, trend is the opposite
http://newoldage.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/04/18/where-the-oldest-die-now/?_php=true&_type=blogs&_r=0

plus location statistics is not very telling (as the article indicates, if someone just gets shipped off from a hospital to home for a few days that really isn't saying much)

to answer the question, I think it is neither negative nor positive.

What I do think is negative is if people really sustain someone in great pain rather than letting them go "peacefully", as it were. Modern technology can be very good at that, but I'm not convinced it is always worth it to extend a life like 5 days, often since the person isn't in a state to actually give any consent. It's a touchy subject, but there have been plenty of people who when coherent and more healthy express wishes to not be kept in such a weak state [not talking about like coma/braindead stuff, but elderly people] but the family will insist on keeping them alive for as long as possible.

8) How do you want your body to be handled after death? (cremation, buried, etc)
preferably cadaver, though I don't know how that works with organ donation. I've done nothing to indicate that I'd like to be a cadaver in the legal sense.

I guess cremated after that. Either plucked of my organs and some get used, or some medical profession get's some practical use of my body, or both.

9) If you somehow knew that you were to die on a desert island and nobody would ever find your remains, would that bother you?
No.

10) If you had a memorial or tombstone with a message for the following generations, what would it say?
[Real name] [birthdate] - [death date]. If I plop out some kids, "Loving father [and/or husband]".

 

[Kennigit]

Huh. is there a reason that the mostly first world users on this forum are plopping down like 50-60 as age to die, gien the access to modern medicine and just general statistics on life expectancy?

I know lot's of family history stuff, etc, that is personal, but most economically developed places are somewhere in the 70s (often upper 70s). Rough guess after 5 seconds of googling is heavy smokers may have ~1 decade less, but can recover a lot of that if they quite smoking before 40.

I don't think the cfc population is a bunch of obese packaday smokers, for the most part. And although medical conditions can strike anyone and any time (eg cancer can develop in perfectly healthy young people, etc), it's not statistically likely.

 

[Terxpahseyton]

It's a touchy subject, but there have been plenty of people who when coherent and more healthy express wishes to not be kept in such a weak state [not talking about like coma/braindead stuff, but elderly people] but the family will insist on keeping them alive for as long as possible.

A hospital doctor once told me (paraphrasing)
"Everyone one says he or she wants to die in dignity. But when the time comes, everyone just wants to live."

Which reminded me how easy it is to talk about death when one is still relatively young, but how dramatic one must feel when death actually knocks.

I also am suddenly reminded on a good friend whose grandma was dying. Here body was a mess. She was really old. And had severe health problems for years (including in the head, had a stroke).
And so many would say "Let her go. It is time for her to die". Doctors wouldn't really be trying. And it made sense. In every way it seemed like it was her time and that was it. We all die and she had a long life. But now was so very sick anyway. Makes sense, right?
Well my friend got extremely furious when someone expressed an opinion like that. He just wanted a loved one to live. There was no reconciliation, no point, no higher calling which determined that it "was time". It just sucked balls.

Makes me think that at least the vast majority of the stuff people say to make death seem less terrible is empty horsecrap.

But I wouldn't really know. I never faced death, never lost someone close.

 

[Hojsimpson]

1) Do you fear death?
1a) Why do you fear death?
I did time ago. But not nowadays, I don't care about death, if I fear anything is life or dying in a painful way or people the death of people I love.

2) Do you feel you lived a full life if you died tomorrow?
No! I'm still very young (in one and a half month I will be 18), I still have my dreams and desires and those things. Still want to do many things.

3) Do you believe in an afterlife?
No.

4) If you died tomorrow what would your biggest regret be?
Replying to this post. Or dying right after I had luck with girls, dying tomorrow would be like winning the lottery and dying before spending any money.

5) If you had to guess, what age will you die?
Around 70.

6) Have you ever seen someone die?
I've seen people near to death, but not dying.

7) Do you think modern civilizations reduction of exposure to death is a good thing? (i.e., most people die in hospitals and not at home etc)
I don't know.

8) How do you want your body to be handled after death? (cremation, buried, etc)
Blow it up.

9) If you somehow knew that you were to die on a desert island and nobody would ever find your remains, would that bother you?
I don't care if nobody find my body, but dying on a desert island seems horrible.

10) If you had a memorial or tombstone with a message for the following generations, what would it say?
I don't know, I don't want a tombstone, but if I had one something funny.
"****, HELP ME, I'M CLAUSTROPHOBIC."

 

[Narz]

1) Do you fear death?
Of course.

1a) Why do you fear death?
Because I don't want to stop being alive.

2) Do you feel you lived a full life if you died tomorrow?
Hell no!

3) Do you believe in an afterlife?
I would love to believe but I do not sadly.

4) If you died tomorrow what would your biggest regret be?
If I knew that I'd be on the case of taking care of it.

5) If you had to guess, what age will you die?
80

6) Have you ever seen someone die?
I saw a man get run over by a car, he probably died an hour or two later though I don't know for sure.

7) Do you think modern civilizations reduction of exposure to death is a good thing? (i.e., most people die in hospitals and not at home etc)
No I don't.

8) How do you want your body to be handled after death? (cremation, buried, etc)
Buried under a fruit tree that feeds me family. On my property, not at a gravesite.

9) If you somehow knew that you were to die on a desert island and nobody would ever find your remains, would that bother you?
I don't care about my remains but I'd be sad to die alone.

10) If you had a memorial or tombstone with a message for the following generations, what would it say?
"Narz will return", of course

 

[Narz]

Perf I'm glad you ask this question, and the answer is:

I guess it is what I was meant to do. People need to expire, and people need to play god. I don't have any other way of explaining this. Our individual governments deem people worthy of death, and I am that person, the one to bring them to death. I guess that's it... I don't know how else to explain that.

Are you talking about in wartime? You really think taking life is funny?

 

[MilesGregarius]

8) How do you want your body to be handled after death? (cremation, buried, etc)
Buried under a fruit tree that feeds me family. On my property, not at a gravesite.

+1,000

 

[Synobun]

1) Do you fear death?

I do not fear the act of dying, however I do fear what comes after death.

1a) Why do you fear death?

Life has forever been a miserable experience for me, but it still does not outweigh the benefit of thought, consciousness, and existing. I have grappled with existential ideas since the age of 6 and have been unable to come to a logical conclusion, a situation I expect to last until the day I die. Eternal existence comes with the issue of boredom, incapability, and a whole slew of other issues. Eternal nonexistence is, well... You're gone. Nothing is there. It is all over.

2) Do you feel you lived a full life if you died tomorrow?

No.

3) Do you believe in an afterlife?

I deeply wish for there to be, and I'd love to believe in one, but there is no evidence to support it and I cannot take that final leap without feeling like I am intellectually dishonest which is ultimately what I have to live with, not a belief in what comes after I am done living with things. Coupled with the issue listed above, and I find myself most attracted to an afterlife that involves having your memories wiped but your consciousness intact. You simply... keep living, over and over again. Not a fan of the memory loss idea but it is significantly better than the loss of existence as my bit is all about the act of experiencing.

4) If you died tomorrow what would your biggest regret be?

Everything.

5) If you had to guess, what age will you die?

Between 20-25.

6) Have you ever seen someone die?

Many.

7) Do you think modern civilizations reduction of exposure to death is a good thing?

Yes.

8) How do you want your body to be handled after death?

Donated to science, leftovers cremated and spread over hopefully a forest I've grown myself.

9) If you somehow knew that you were to die on a desert island and nobody would ever find your remains, would that bother you?

Nah. Assuming there is no afterlife and this is it, what is the worth in being remembered and having your remains honoured? You no longer matter. Your part in the equation ceases to be.

10) If you had a memorial or tombstone with a message for the following generations, what would it say?

I am free.

 

[MilesGregarius]

1) Do you fear death?
Not particularly.

1a) Why do you fear death?
Things to do as yet undone.

2) Do you feel you lived a full life if you died tomorrow?
Mostly.

3) Do you believe in an afterlife?
Without a doubt- conservation of energy and all that. Whether or not that translates into continued consciousness, on the other hand...

4) If you died tomorrow what would your biggest regret be?
Not having raised a family of my own, softened somewhat by my contributions in raising those of a few others.

5) If you had to guess, what age will you die?
Much older than I am today (hopefully.)

6) Have you ever seen someone die?
Saw the muzzle flash from a murder down an alley in SF years ago. Had a homeless guy expire on our doorstep in DC before that. Never actually seen anyone give up the ghost.

7) Do you think modern civilizations reduction of exposure to death is a good thing? (i.e., most people die in hospitals and not at home etc)
No, it's not a good thing. Not the lack of exposure to the death of ourselves. Not the lack of exposure to that of the meat on our dinner plate.

8) How do you want your body to be handled after death? (cremation, buried, etc)
Stick me in the ground and plant a tree on top of me. Preferably a mango, a zapote, or a sapodilla. Maybe an avocado.

9) If you somehow knew that you were to die on a desert island and nobody would ever find your remains, would that bother you?
As long as my remains return quickly to the biosphere, no complaints. The idea of cremation, embalming, or being cast into the vacuum of space bother me far more.

10) If you had a memorial or tombstone with a message for the following generations, what would it say?
"Eat a peach (or a mango.)"