Boys, please do remember "misandry" isn't a real word, it's a very sexist and misogynistic thing to say, and there's no such thing as reverse sexism (just like with racism). You can have women who hate men for sure and blame men for problems, but that's not at all the same thing, you know? Misogyny's opposite is feminism.
Interestingly, misandry is a concept that (imo usefully) was developed by feminists to critique other feminists, specifically the biologically-determinist views of certain feminists who viewed the male sex as inherently violent and inferior. Those views have largely given way to modern feminism's emphasis on the cultural construction of gender, and attacks on the gender binary itself (which has obviously gone hand-in-hand with recognizing the validity and relevance to feminism of trans and non-binary liberation). I believe this has been a positive development, but opinions might differ.
I think misandry obviously exists. But it exists on the level of individuals, women who (often for reasons having to do with serious abuse and trauma) genuinely are prejudiced against or hate men. It is not a social force that seriously hinders men in general in any way, the way misogyny is a social force that hinders women in general.
She could have been having a rotten day, or she could have had bad experiences with men. She might hate men just in general. But the rudeness was completely hers.
Of course, I know that. That doesn't mean it wouldn't have an emotional effect on me. I've come a long way with dealing with my insecurities and stuff but I'm still not emotionally strong enough to take something like that with equanimity.
You have to know men have done many, many horrible things to women, and still do, so demanding women just "get over it" and put themselves at risk because you personally are a wonderful and gentle man doesn't make sense to me - but maybe we're miscommunicating? I'm just sort of trying to please ask to look at things from another perspective.
I don't think women should "get over it". I think men are the ultimate problem in women feeling vulnerable and in danger. But I don't think segregating women is the grand prize. Yet my opinion is dismissed on the basis of me being male while the actual quality of what I said is ignored. A man who wants to own you will care little for "don't speak to women in public" rules. If they cared, they wouldn't be dangerous to you. Requiring that men keep their heads down and take on a vow of silence when in the presence of a woman in public is completely nonsensical. You're not safer because of this. You're still at risk from predators. All you've done is make people afraid to speak to you while also adding an extreme burden onto women in order to have social contact. Men who want to hurt you will still hurt you. The only thing you "gain" from this no-contact scenario is total isolation from half of the world's population.
There is definitely miscommunication going on here. I don't read Mary as advocating for separation of the sexes or "don't interact at all with women". But on the other side of the coin, myself, Synsensa and others are explicitly saying that if a woman looks/seems "cautious" about you, just don't talk to her. And I don't see how learning to read the kinds of cues that tell you how people are feeling so that you can avoid making people uncomfortable or scaring them unintentionally is a bad thing. The whole point of what I've been saying is that people should work on reading those cues so that they can "look at things from another perspective" in real-time.
And please don't call men "boys" unless you're a man yourself.
There have been many instances in this thread of men calling grown women "girls", just saying.
But whenever a guy has just come up to me and I could clearly tell he was sexually interested in me, my discomfort meter instantly goes crazy.
Think of this, how would you approach just some man you see on the bus who you've never met? Would you go up to him and invite him over to your house for fun when you know nothing about him?
My current girlfriend works in my building (for a different employer that also rents space there). When I asked her out the first time, we'd spoken for only two or three minutes, but I knew I was okay because we'd ridden the elevator together a couple of times over the months and every time that happened I saw her eyeing me. The last time when she walked out of the elevator she even turned her head and opened her mouth like she was going to say something, but didn't, and I knew then that if I saw her again I'd ask her out, which eventually is what happened.
This is what I'm trying to say. I saw that she was eyeing me, so I knew I was okay asking her out. If she hadn't been doing that, I'd never have dreamt of asking her out, at least not in the way that I did.
" response beforehand. I'm more than okay with acknowledging and classifying a large portion of men as predators, but I'm not okay with that being considered inherent to being male. I'm not a lion. You're not a gazelle. You are not prey to me because I am a man. I'm not a "vegetarian lion". I'm not resisting some inherent quality wherein I'm special because I don't eat you because if I were just a little bit weaker you'd be my victim.
