Not Being the Nice Guy (split from Random Rants OA)

[hobbsyoyo]

I got blasted by my coworker after 'donuting' him. Basically, leaving your computer unlocked is a security risk. So at my old job, if you found an unlocked computer, you sent an email to the team seemingly from the employee saying they were buying donuts for the team. I brought the practice to my new job and while 90% of people don't follow through with donuts, it's generally well recieved.

Until today. My coworker started yelling at me and I was going to apologize until he started cursing and calling me all manner of nasty names loud enough that the whole floor went quiet. Now I just hope HR doesn't get involved.

 

[Valka D'Ur]

I got blasted by my coworker after 'donuting' him. Basically, leaving your computer unlocked is a security risk. So at my old job, if you found an unlocked computer, you sent an email to the team seemingly from the employee saying they were buying donuts for the team. I brought the practice to my new job and while 90% of people don't follow through with donuts, it's generally well recieved.

Until today. My coworker started yelling at me and I was going to apologize until he started cursing and calling me all manner of nasty names loud enough that the whole floor went quiet. Now I just hope HR doesn't get involved.

So you essentially impersonated your co-worker? I don't blame him for being upset, although it sounds like he took it farther than necessary.

 

[hobbsyoyo]

Yes that's the game we all play. It staves off more draconian measures which have been threatened due to people habitually leaving their computers unlocked.

 

[Hygro]

I got blasted by my coworker after 'donuting' him. Basically, leaving your computer unlocked is a security risk. So at my old job, if you found an unlocked computer, you sent an email to the team seemingly from the employee saying they were buying donuts for the team. I brought the practice to my new job and while 90% of people don't follow through with donuts, it's generally well recieved.

Until today. My coworker started yelling at me and I was going to apologize until he started cursing and calling me all manner of nasty names loud enough that the whole floor went quiet. Now I just hope HR doesn't get involved.

Your coworker sucks and owes you all donuts.

 

[Zelig]

If you start yelling, I stop interacting with you until you've calmed down enough to act rationally, and at that point, I expect an apology.

 

[hobbsyoyo]

Your coworker sucks and owes you all donuts.

He has zero chill, that's for sure.

If you start yelling, I stop interacting with you until you've calmed down enough to act rationally, and at that point, I expect an apology.

Well I'm not going to demand one because he certainly won't give one of his own accord and I don't care to escalate drama.

 

[Commodore]

I got blasted by my coworker after 'donuting' him. Basically, leaving your computer unlocked is a security risk. So at my old job, if you found an unlocked computer, you sent an email to the team seemingly from the employee saying they were buying donuts for the team. I brought the practice to my new job and while 90% of people don't follow through with donuts, it's generally well recieved.

Until today. My coworker started yelling at me and I was going to apologize until he started cursing and calling me all manner of nasty names loud enough that the whole floor went quiet. Now I just hope HR doesn't get involved.

The problem is you might actually be open to disciplinary action if HR does get involved. That's why even though the measures for leaving a computer unlocked can be severe and even cost your coworker their job, it's always best to just report it properly and let the higher ups handle it.

I did it to my team leader when I was a contractor in Afghanistan. Our office had classified computers in them and he left it unlocked for hours. I discovered it when I went back late at night to finish one of my reports and found the door open and swinging in the breeze. I reported the potential security breach to the base commander, and she pushed to have my team leader fired. I was then reprimanded in private by my program manager for getting my team leader fired because "it makes the company look bad". I didn't care though. Nor did I care that I got someone fired. Protecting classified information is more important than a company's reputation or someone's livelihood.

I guess my point is: don't be afraid to be a snitch. Yeah, people might hate you for it, but snitching is the best way to ensure rules are enforced and followed properly.

 

[Timsup2nothin]

Meet them away from work and say "when you were yelling it seemed like you were perhaps restrained from taking some other action because we were at work, so I came here because I didn't want you to be frustrated," then if he doesn't immediately apologize beat the snot out of him.

 

[Lexicus]

I guess my point is: don't be afraid to be a snitch. Yeah, people might hate you for it, but snitching is the best way to ensure rules are enforced and followed properly.

I dunno, I feel there can be better ways of handling things that ones that get people fired. Not always, but most of the time.

Until today. My coworker started yelling at me and I was going to apologize until he started cursing and calling me all manner of nasty names loud enough that the whole floor went quiet. Now I just hope HR doesn't get involved.

Ha, that's funny! One of my coworkers actually flipped out and threatened to get my other coworker (the one you met the other day) fired, and called him a bunch of nasty names. This happened on Monday, in a room with just the three of us.

 

[Commodore]

I dunno, I feel there can be better ways of handling things that ones that get people fired. Not always, but most of the time.

It's about covering your own butt. Doing things officially protects you from any consequences or disciplinary action. Remember: Always take care of yourself before taking care of others.

 

[Lexicus]

Remember: Always take care of yourself before taking care of others.

I essentially try to live by the opposite of this rule. I'm also sort of wondering how this squares with you saying in the other thread that that cop should have sacrificed himself to give the students time to evacuate the school.

 

[Commodore]

I essentially try to live by the opposite of this rule. I'm also sort of wondering how this squares with you saying in the other thread that that cop should have sacrificed himself to give the students time to evacuate the school.

It squares quite well actually. He chose a job in which he was expected to put the interests and well-being of others ahead of his own. So by not living up to that expectation, he failed in his duties and was rightfully removed from that position and shamed. The average office worker isn't expected to put others ahead of themselves, so there is no reasonable expectation that they should care about the well-being of others, especially when their own job is potentially on the line.

 

[Timsup2nothin]

It squares quite well actually. He chose a job in which he was expected to put the interests and well-being of others ahead of his own. So by not living up to that expectation, he failed in his duties and was rightfully removed from that position and shamed. The average office worker isn't expected to put others ahead of themselves, so there is no reasonable expectation that they should care about the well-being of others, especially when their own job is potentially on the line.

Just for the record, I would absolutely never hire you for anything. No matter what other qualifications you have, this makes you a non-starter for me.

 

[Lexicus]

He chose a job in which he was expected to put the interests and well-being of others ahead of his own.

So, what you were really saying is that no one should ever choose a job like this? Aren't you a parent?

 

[Takhisis]

Transplanted from Random Thoughts (relevant):

Since when have I ever indicated I care about what others think of me, whether it be here or in real life?

You need a change in your outlook, Commodore.

 

[Commodore]

Just for the record, I would absolutely never hire you for anything. No matter what other qualifications you have, this makes you a non-starter for me.

Well, this means precisely nothing since you aren't in a position where you get to make hiring decisions for anyone.

So, what you were really saying is that no one should ever choose a job like this?

No that's not what I was saying at all.

Aren't you a parent?

Yes I am. And I give everything I can to my kids. However, I do not extend that courtesy to those I work with because I have no obligation to. In fact, I'd say it's largely my duty to my kids that fuels my "take whatever I can, any way I can" attitude.

You need a change in your outlook, Commodore.

Based on what? Years ago when I was still trying to do the "nice guy" thing, I was getting nowhere. Once I started being somewhat of a bully and steamrolling people to get what I want, my life improved greatly. Like it or not, we live in a society that rewards people like me. So if I'm getting rewarded by society for what you see as bad behavior, what's my incentive to change?

 

[Timsup2nothin]

Well, this means precisely nothing since you aren't in a position where you get to make hiring decisions for anyone.

Not any more. Retirement is wonderful. And it is based on having hired plenty of people who didn't believe that "every man for himself" was a good quality in a co-worker.

Or a human being, come to that.

 

[Arakhor]

Once I started being somewhat of a bully and steamrolling people to get what I want, my life improved greatly. Like it or not, we live in a society that rewards people like me. So if I'm getting rewarded by society for what you see as bad behavior, what's my incentive to change?

And that's exactly what bullies want people to believe.

 

[Takhisis]

Based on what? Years ago when I was still trying to do the "nice guy" thing, I was getting nowhere. Once I started being somewhat of a bully and steamrolling people to get what I want, my life improved greatly. Like it or not, we live in a society that rewards people like me. So if I'm getting rewarded by society for what you see as bad behavior, what's my incentive to change?

You see, I'm the type of person who is often a victim of people who believe the type of crap you've just posted and actually follow through on that. If I could ever have my way I'd stop the incentives. I hope one day you realise that you are exploiting a broken societal system and doing harm to others and, even better, you'll feel guilty enough to do something about it.

 

[Hygro]

Based on what? Years ago when I was still trying to do the "nice guy" thing, I was getting nowhere. Once I started being somewhat of a bully and steamrolling people to get what I want, my life improved greatly. Like it or not, we live in a society that rewards people like me. So if I'm getting rewarded by society for what you see as bad behavior, what's my incentive to change?

It's interesting, I found myself making a similar, generalized point in the metoo thread. But when I see a string of words "trying to do the 'nice guy' thing", I feel like you never actually being nice. So what did trying to do the nice guy thing actually look like?