Not Being the Nice Guy (split from Random Rants OA)

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In fact, I'd say it's largely my duty to my kids that fuels my "take whatever I can, any way I can" attitude.

Well, assuming one can generalize this attitude, I now completely understand why some fringe politics demand village society and the removal of the nuclear family as a concept.
 
Once I started being somewhat of a bully and steamrolling people to get what I want, my life improved greatly. Like it or not, we live in a society that rewards people like me. So if I'm getting rewarded by society for what you see as bad behavior, what's my incentive to change?

Good point. You have proven that someone should beat the living crap out of you. Hope that works out.
 
While being a jerk/bully may get some things done, it comes with the obvious cost that people dismiss you as one. Ultimately this may not matter, yet it can't be termed as a bonus either.
Eg, a number of people have mistreated me in the seminar/lecture and also translation run i had up to now. It just means i won't bother with them again, and do mention them when discussions on this happen. It isn't a bonus to have decent people run away at the sight or sound of one :)

Of course there is the other side:
I never did something to harm anyone in my work (other than speak about known bullies or jerks to other people in my profession or circle). One would want to think this would benefit me, but in reality such things never do. Eg they may make others admit you are playing nice, but financially it won't matter, etc.

There is a local saying about this, which would mostly translate to: "do the right thing, and (just) throw it to the waterfront" (ie forget it and don't insist it should be beneficial to you)
 
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On the topic of being an buttportal, people like people who are good with themselves. Put on your own oxygen mask first. Virtue signaling and martyr complexes are super duper gross. So we prefer a good honest buttportal to a bad "nice" person. I have been at times a weak nice person, and yeah, it's not good. It's better than being weak and mean, but its worse than being good and mean. All kinds of evil spawns from being not good/being weak and trying to signal goodness tropes. I too have learned the ways of being an buttportal to be a better person than before.

So yeah, a buttportal is preferred and will be rewarded accordingly.

There is better than buttportals.
 
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My early impressions on behavior (ie in mid elementary, or a bit before that) were that the other kids seemed to try to overpower, with the simple one-trick of being aggressive and intimidating in how they acted. It did take me a while to identify that in elementary virtually no one was actually out to get into a real physical fight -- that came in highschool -- and therefore for myself a main issue always was the threat of possible escalation to serious (as in permanent, and even crippling) somatic harm.
Moreover, this seemed to only be there in the world of boys -- girls were sort of more convoluted in their way. Ultimately i opted for trying to be passive while having some sense of power (usually not real power).
You see people doing that, and often very crudely. Eg many young men -- provided they look somewhat good -- will try at such an age to be passive-agressive using looks. This is a different brand of power-gaming than outright threatening violence, but in essence it serves similar purposes (although it likely often appears as reaction also to the threat of violence).
 
I got blasted by my coworker after 'donuting' him. Basically, leaving your computer unlocked is a security risk. So at my old job, if you found an unlocked computer, you sent an email to the team seemingly from the employee saying they were buying donuts for the team. I brought the practice to my new job and while 90% of people don't follow through with donuts, it's generally well recieved.

Until today. My coworker started yelling at me and I was going to apologize until he started cursing and calling me all manner of nasty names loud enough that the whole floor went quiet. Now I just hope HR doesn't get involved.
Being a consultant I've had the pleasure of seeing this done, doing it, and having it done to me, at multiple companies in Norway and with an international set of people involved. And it's pretty good. :D

We do cakes though, not donuts. Or love letters to the boss (of the opposite sex).

And managers and bosses are in on it. And those who aren't quickly approves when they realise the love letter was a joke from someone who had forgotten to lock their computer.

The only annoying part is that merely stepping three meters away from the desk and turning my back is enough for my coworkers to attempt to send emails...
 
Generally you ought to follow the 'tit for tat' rule or Federation protocol. Diplomacy first, then resort to other measures.
 
Well I'm not going to demand one because he certainly won't give one of his own accord and I don't care to escalate drama.

Sure, you can't practically demand/ask for an apology.

I'm just saying, if you do something sucky, and then you don't apologize, I'm going to think less of you, and it's going to affect how I treat you in the future. In a professional setting, if you're enough of a jerk, I stop being friendly, and treat you as a cog in the process - I give you inputs according to the procedures, and I expect appropriate outputs. Everything by the book.
 
Sure, you can't practically demand/ask for an apology.

I'm just saying, if you do something sucky, and then you don't apologize, I'm going to think less of you, and it's going to affect how I treat you in the future. In a professional setting, if you're enough of a jerk, I stop being friendly, and treat you as a cog in the process - I give you inputs according to the procedures, and I expect appropriate outputs. Everything by the book.
This is exactly what I'm doing now.
 
Remember: Always take care of yourself before taking care of others.
Why? It just strikes me as being extremely selfish for teachers to go on strike for higher wages. [...] Every day the teachers are on strike is a day the students are out of school and can't learn.
So I suppose the reasoning here is, "it is in my self-interest to pretend that I care about children".
 
Being nice has gotten me way, way more in life, and way, way better people involved in my life than when I was kind of an ******* in my younger years. I can't speak for anyone else's experience but kindness and caring and selflessness has paid itself back to me immensely.
 
I got blasted by my coworker after 'donuting' him. Basically, leaving your computer unlocked is a security risk. So at my old job, if you found an unlocked computer, you sent an email to the team seemingly from the employee saying they were buying donuts for the team. I brought the practice to my new job and while 90% of people don't follow through with donuts, it's generally well recieved.

Until today. My coworker started yelling at me and I was going to apologize until he started cursing and calling me all manner of nasty names loud enough that the whole floor went quiet. Now I just hope HR doesn't get involved.
Maybe next time, just put a big sign on his screen that says: "This computer is unlocked!"
 
There's a risk in a prank that can potentially cost someone money, because you don't know their financial situation. Imagine this co-worker is under lot of stress because they're struggling to make their mortgage payments. Then someone comes along and attempts to oblige them to fork out probably $20 (or depending on types of donuts and office size, maybe much more), on the basis that they've made some dumb but relatively routine mistake. They'll lose face if if they don't go along with it, but that puts them in a tight financial spot, and no-one at the office knows or cares about that.

It's understandable in that situation for the person to get upset, and if whoever sent the email knew the full situation when they sent it, they probably wouldn't have done it.

So there can be good reasons for not pranking someone in a manner where money is involved.

Also, not logging out/locking when you leave your desk is a security issue? That seems extreme in a normal office environment.
 
There's a risk in a prank that can potentially cost someone money, because you don't know their financial situation. Imagine this co-worker is under lot of stress because they're struggling to make their mortgage payments. Then someone comes along and attempts to oblige them to fork out probably $20 (or depending on types of donuts and office size, maybe much more), on the basis that they've made some dumb but relatively routine mistake. They'll lose face if if they don't go along with it, but that puts them in a tight financial spot, and no-one at the office knows or cares about that.

It's understandable in that situation for the person to get upset, and if whoever sent the email knew the full situation when they sent it, they probably wouldn't have done it.

So there can be good reasons for not pranking someone in a manner where money is involved.

Also, not logging out/locking when you leave your desk is a security issue? That seems extreme in a normal office environment.

Dude works for SpaceX. At the very least I would imagine corporate espionage would be a concern
 
There's a risk in a prank that can potentially cost someone money, because you don't know their financial situation. Imagine this co-worker is under lot of stress because they're struggling to make their mortgage payments. Then someone comes along and attempts to oblige them to fork out probably $20 (or depending on types of donuts and office size, maybe much more), on the basis that they've made some dumb but relatively routine mistake. They'll lose face if if they don't go along with it, but that puts them in a tight financial spot, and no-one at the office knows or cares about that.

Privileged enough for a mortage.
But too poor for donuts.
Ok, yeah, if you say so.
 
Privileged enough for a mortage.
But too poor for donuts.
I call BS.
Sometimes people make poor financial decisions, or find themselves in an unexpectedly poor financial position, because they've taken on too many liabilities. Hence the GFC.

The fact that someone should not have put themselves into a particular position, doesn't mean they will be less stressed when they find themselves there.

And we could be talking about some pretty expensive donuts. My work occasionally does donuts @$5 a piece, because they're like a meal.
 
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IMHO Leaving your computer unlocked while being away for a longer time is a absolute no go in security sensitive areas, which are all departments containing one of the following: production parameters, research data, customer data, HR data or financial data => so nearly all of them
the prank with the email was perhaps not the best as it exposed the issue to third persons - at university they would usually make an screenshot of your desktop, hide all icons and the command bar and replace the wallpaper with the screenshot => everything looks normal but clicking anywhere won't do no good.
It's still an issue for the victim but it can still learn it's lesson without the notice of others/superiors. (Obviously deleting items saved on the desktop directly can be an issue...)
 
The computers at my workplace automatically lock after 10 minutes and this can't be changed by the user. If a simple FE college can manage that, I'm sure SpaceX can.
 
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