Statements — Statements are admissions of one’s sexual orientation, such as “I am gay.” Under DADT, a statement like this—or any other statement that would lead a “reasonable person” to conclude that a service member was gay—was considered homosexual conduct and was grounds for discharge.2
With the repeal of DADT, statements about a service member’s sexual orientation are no longer grounds for discharge, and service members are free to come out to whomever they would like, if they so choose.
Acts — Under DADT, a homosexual act was any bodily contact, actively undertaken or passively permitted, between members of the same gender for the purpose of satisfying sexual desires, and any bodily contact that a reasonable person would understand to demonstrate a propensity or intent to engage in a homosexual act.3
With the repeal of DADT, lawful acts with a person of the same sex are no longer grounds for discharge. Service members are free to engage in intimate conduct with a person of the same sex to the extent permissible under sexual-orientation-neutral regulations. However, there are other provisions that limit or prohibit certain acts, and that can have serious penalties. For more information, please refer to the “Uniform Code of Military Justice” and “Military Policies” sections of this guide.
Marriage — Same-sex marriage is currently available in several states and the District of Columbia. Other states have provisions for domestic partnerships or civil unions. Under DADT, any marriage or attempted marriage (which included civil unions, domestic partnerships or commitment ceremonies) was grounds for discharge.4
Today, service members are free to marry, obtain a domestic partnership or civil union, or have a commitment ceremony with another person of the same sex without fear of separation. Because of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), a same-sex marriage will not be recognized as a valid marriage by the military and other parts of the federal government, even if it is validly performed in a state that allows same-sex marriage. Spouses of service members, therefore, will be limited in the benefits available to them (for more information, please see the “Families and Benefits” section of this guide). SLDN is working to change this inequity, but service members can rest assured that they will not be separated for committing to the person they love.