Please Help

[Disgustipated]

The problem with spoiler tags, is I still tend to click them. I wish I hadn't seen that picture. I have only myself to blame. The thing about spoiler tags, is you have to know what lies beneath them.

 

[GoodSarmatian]

Both of these made me smile - especially imagining how you're going to persuade the daughter to go along with option a)

He wrote baby girl, so I assumed the daughter is too young to talk.

I had no idea iguanas made so much noise. How much noise can a small creature make?

Commodore didn't say how old the iguana is, but he said his wife has had the animal for years. An adult (over seven years old) iguana can reach up to six feet in length.

While that is true, googling photos of "iguana aggression" reveals that they may still bite pretty hard , i.e. during mating season.

Hmm, mating season. Maybe he just hit puberty ? Which brings me to my good option, and the question: Is the iguana neutered ?

 

[Shaihulud]

While that is true, googling photos of "iguana aggression" reveals that they may still bite pretty hard , i.e. during mating season.

@Commodore:
Show your wife this picture:
EDIT: Nasty bite wound ahead, view at your own discretion

Spoiler :

Explain that you don't want to take the risk, however small, that your kid could get bitten in a similar way. Explain that keeping the lizard caged at all times to avoid the hazard would be cruel to the animal and that returning it to her parents would be the better option for it.

EEEYaahh! I think I will not be handfeeding my iguana anytime soon.

 

[warpus]

What kind of electric heater is it that it uses up so much electricity? Sounds like something horribly inefficient. Maybe you could buy something a bit more energy efficient to help down on hydro costs?

 

[downtown]

Yeah, big Iguanas can be pretty damn mean.

If you're worried about money, you could ask your wife if there is anything she'd be willing to go without to cover the cost of the animal. If the thing can really hurt your child though, then you have to put your foot down. Nothing is more important than the safety of your kid.

 

[Commodore]

Thanks for all the advice. You all have given me some pretty good ideas to try.

The putting my foot down approach is out of the question though. I have tried it several times and it just seems to strengthen her resolve to keep it. I think the biggest part of the problem is that she sees me as the enemy in this situation. So I guess it's up to me find a way to make her see that I'm not doing this to be mean, but I'm doing it for the good of our household.

 

[Murky]

Yeah. I wouldn't have one as a pet for home around children. They belong either in a zoo or the wild.

 

[JollyRoger]

Thanks for all the advice. You all have given me some pretty good ideas to try.

The putting my foot down approach is out of the question though. I have tried it several times and it just seems to strengthen her resolve to keep it. I think the biggest part of the problem is that she sees me as the enemy in this situation. So I guess it's up to me find a way to make her see that I'm not doing this to be mean, but I'm doing it for the good of our household.

The desire for saftey stands against every great and noble enterprise.

 

[Kozmos]

If we train children eating iguanas there is nothing we can't do.

 

[timtofly]

If we train children to eat iguanas there is nothing we can't do.

I read this too fast.

 

[SuperJay]

What kind of iguana is it, do you know?

Your wife sounds like she's being a littl eunreasonable about this issue, but she's obviously really attached to her pet. Maybe her maternal instincts are indiscriminatory at this point and she just sees the iguana as your daughter's reptilian "sibling" - and of course you can't just get rid of one of your 'children' because it's acting up. As her husband, it may help to try and see this from her perspective, no matter how irrational her behavior may seem.

Maybe just ask her what her plans are to ensure that the iguana doesn't injure your human child or otherwise disrupt the infant's sleep. Does she share these concerns? Is she oblivious to any potential danger or trouble spots altogether?

And no, don't spend more time with the iguana to 'build trust' or whatever. It's a reptile. It doesn't "trust" anything. A cold-blooded animal doesn't even know what "trust" is. You are either food or not, a threat or not, a potential mate... or not. That's about as far as an iguana's emotional processes go. There is a certain degree of taming that's possible, and it will likely be less hostile to that which is familiar, but that iguana doesn't have any feelings toward you one way or the other.

If it's aggressive or behaving badly, there may be environmental factors that are stressing it. The cage may be too small, too warm, too cool, too humid, too dry, dirty, etc. Moving it back and forth between houses may be a stressor as well. Reptile care is not for the faint of heart - and keeping a green iguana (for example) can be the equivalent of a part-time job.

EDIT: The one angle that might make some headway with your wife may be a concern for the iguana itself. Because I'm guessing that the iguana is not having a good time right now, and everyone including the lizard is upset, tense, and unhappy. You may have to come to a point where you gently point out that if this situation continues and you two are unsuccessful integrating the iguana into your family, finding the iguana a good home where he'll be cared for properly and be comfortable is in the best interests of both the lizard AND your family. She may have to accept that removing the iguana from your home is actually the best way to take care of the iguana. She won't like it, but if she truly cares about her pet as an animal (and not as an object of emotional attachment), she'll have to open her eyes to the reality that keeping the iguana may just be making her spouse, her child, AND the lizard itself miserable.

 

[Takhisis]

Why don't you ask her why she left the iguana at her parents' in the first place?

 

[innonimatu]

While that is true, googling photos of "iguana aggression" reveals that they may still bite pretty hard , i.e. during mating season.

@Commodore:
Show your wife this picture:
EDIT: Nasty bite wound ahead, view at your own discretion

Spoiler :

Explain that you don't want to take the risk, however small, that your kid could get bitten in a similar way. Explain that keeping the lizard caged at all times to avoid the hazard would be cruel to the animal and that returning it to her parents would be the better option for it.

That actually opens up another course of action, albeit a physically unpleasant one: get the damn vermin to actually bite you and then, "justifiably", kill it then and there. As a bonus you'll know that if your wife still makes too much of an issue over the killing it'll be better to start considering a divorce...

Though I think I'd just find some way to accidentally kill it and be done with the issue.

 

[Yeekim]

Nah, I wouldn't do that. As several people have pointed out, killing the lizard would probably throw a huge wrench into your relations with your wife.

Also, the poor iguana himself hasn't done anything to justify killing it, so that would be kinda jerkish thing to do.

 

[Takhisis]

I'll repeat myself: WONDERFUL NEW LIZARDSKIN BELT, OR IF THERE'S ENOUGH SKIN YOU CAN TRY GIVING YOUR WIFE A NICE NEW LIZARDSKIN HANDBAG.

 

[Angst]

There has to be a solution I'm not seeing though. My issue is (and I have expressed this to her several times) that I firmly believe humans and animals should not live together.

Uh huh. That kind of idealistic standpoint is kinda messed up to involve in marriage. Why not leave your personal vendettas out of this and just talk to your wife about your girl? Because this is kinda unnecessary in all aspects.

Have to say though, it sounds really dangerous having this lizard under the same roof as your baby if it's violent to anyone but your wife. If it's like that, it's seriously selfish and irresponsible of her regardless

And you say she cries when you try to expose your feelings about it? What kind of woman have you ended up with?

Sure, you love her, but I believe my girlfriends are to listen to me and not use the "I'm weak and you should take care of me instead of allowing me to respect your opinion" card that is essentially blind crying when you talk about issues.

I've never been married, of course, and I think you're better at this than me. (EDIT: Also, I apologize for my rough tone in general, I just want you two to get better, and I think my points are relevant.) But what if she had a dog that were violent to anyone but her? What if it took a bite off your kid?

EDIT: Have to add, though, that I don't think the iguana means any harm. I think it should stay at her parents so she can visit it and allow it to live in peace.

 

[mayor]

I scanned the thread but can't find this suggestion yet so,

Have you considered getting a terrarium (if you have one, a bigger one?) and place the damned thing in the attic, shed, basement or somewhere similar where it can't bite, scratch, bother you?

 

[CavLancer]

What eats iguanas? Get one and tell her you love the creature but when it eats the iguana ban it from the house the dirty creature! Hate it and take it to the shelter for eating the beloved iguana which you miss very much too! Get yourself some therapy for emotional trauma over losing the iguana. Etc...

 

[GinandTonic]

Get her to swap the lizard for a Spaniel. Way cuter ears and she wont think it's part of a pet hating motivation on your part.

 

[holy king]

Don't lie. Anything the lizard has done to you is going to happen to your daughter if it can get near her. If your wife doesn't understand that she's not fit to own a lizard and have a child.

indeed. and if she doesnt understand that after you explained it to her, just poison the freaking thing already.