Polygamy, Polyandry, Group Marriage

If they're following your logic on it, then they're both using personal faith to curtail the Pursuit of Happiness of others. A time honored tradition, that. I also don't imagine it will change. They'd walk more than a mile.

Except this happiness has direct side effects that would impact others. It hurts women IMHO and creates all sorts of problems. It used to be legal/semi legal but there's a reason it died out and was made illegal.

In Zards dictatorship I wouldn't allow it but if you wanted to live your life in private knock yourself out. There would be no legal recognition for wife or husband 2, 3 or 4 etc.

Gay marriage would be legal. But they only get one legally recognized spouse regardless if gender.


I think the the good old days part if the reason was inheritence which evolved into oldest son got most of it. Splitting up land created problems, multiple wives and husband's creates the same problems now.
 
And fairly and clearly regulationg this stuff would become nightmare.
Suppose a...uh... seven-way "marriage", lets say MMFMFMM, because why the hell not.
Should everyone be responsible for taking care of every child? Should children, once grown up, be responsible for supporting all seven of their "parents"?
Assuming people join and leave the "marriage" at different times, what becomes whose joint property, or who might owe alimony to who?

Good questions, but why are these particularly nightmarish? I mean, I've watched divorce/custody law stuff and it's already a nightmare. These specific changes don't seem to make it particularly more nightmarish. That's already been done by other factors.

So we can have a kid with one parent/guardian. We can have a kid with two parent/guardians. We can have step mothers and step fathers and grandparents that function as 6 or 8 people who function as parents/guardians and we can rank the authority between them. We can have a school district possess rights of a parent and guardian and rank that authority among its dozens to hundreds of members. We have procedures by which these agents can act to curtail or end the rights of the primary parents. Do children roundabout your parts have legal obligations to care for their parents? I don't think we do. Assuming alimony is due a leaving partner, I see no particular reason a marriage entity cannot owe the amount, or that later leaving people cannot have their share of obligations prorated out from their share of assets. These don't seem particularly novel problems is all I'm trying to get at.

Except this happiness has direct side effects that would impact others. It hurts women IMHO and creates all sorts of problems. It used to be legal/semi legal but there's a reason it died out and was made illegal.

In Zards dictatorship I wouldn't allow it but if you wanted to live your life in private knock yourself out. There would be no legal recognition for wife or husband 2, 3 or 4 etc.

The old poly laws were tried, yes. I am not suggesting those, I am suggesting something fundamentally different on the legality. I know you say it hurts women, I know some other people say it hurts women, nobody has offered a reason that holds up at all better than "Muslims(Mormons) suck" and I get quite enough of that already on a lot of issues from that sort of person.
 
You said your wife would have stayed with you if you continued providing for her. You insinuated that she was a breeder, which I objected to as a something else entirely from how you were using the word. But in any case, that you said this implies that marriage can be commoditized. It's something people trade for a spouse's income/wealth.

Then I referenced that earlier exchange to make a point about rich dudes monopolizing women as a potential bad outcome.

Now you're talking about contracts and stuff and that's fine, and maybe it's not deliberate wordplay/semantics, but it's a whole other distraction to my points as if I hadn't made them.

This is the breeder post that I have referenced now a couple of times

My first wife wanted a marriage that is now so far out of fashion that she would hardly ever admit to having wanted it in the first place. It would be very easy in the current environment to characterize such a marriage as "breeder wife." If she had gotten what she wanted it would not have in any way involved abuse, because it would have been her getting what she wanted. We are friends, and we laugh about it all the time...usually in terms of "if you ever tell anyone that's what I was looking for at twenty I will deny it to my dying breath, which will come a long time after your dying breath, because that will happen immediately."

The funny thing about exes. She and I both have no real choice but to acknowledge that we are each other's oldest friends and know each other better than anyone else in the world knows us.
 
Total tangent, but this isn't entirely correct. One of the easiest efficiencies that can be reached with cloning plants and animals is in production. Running broad numbers with thin strains of genetics definitely does risk pandemic. It's happened before with simply selective breeding with plants and southern corn leaf blight and the like. It doesn't help with bees. Cloning is just a much bigger step down the same path.

I wasn't talking about it in broad numbers, since that wasn't the common public rejection at the time. I'm aware of the risk for stuff like bananas getting screwed over by disease that is over-threatening due to limited genetic diversity. The outcry at the time (at least as I recall it, I was young) was mostly moral, not an evaluation of the risk of lack of genetic diversity leading to a farming catastrophe or something. That kind of massed procedure wasn't even feasible to my knowledge and it's hard to imagine it being cheaper even if it were.

It had and has the potential to be very useful tech if used properly. That doesn't mean you clone 20,000 cows, but it has uses that shouldn't be a serious risk of pandemic.

No this is gross and you're missing my point. There are fundamental differences in the situations between incest and being gay. You do a massive disservice to conflate the two - as big a disservice as those that claim gay = pedo in the first place.

On the contrary, I'm pointing out a disservice I observe in your argument. The only proven difference between incest and my example is that kids with the lack of genetic diversity have serious risk factors. What you're saying is similar rationale to "gay people cause HIV" or "X population commits Y% of crime". If you reject that rationale elsewhere, it doesn't make sense to use it now just because a particular concept (group marriage) bothers you.

They are not equivalent things to begin with and the very nature of the relationships have to be taken into account. This makes the comparisons of the arguments against these things bunk, which was my point.

You claim bunk, but you're not demonstrating bunk.

Can this thread please be closed?

Frankly, this is disgusting. Notice how there are no women participating in this "discussion?" I'm assuming not. This thread is just oozing with male privilege.

Quoted isn't a respectable position. Frankly, you don't know who posts on this forum is a man/woman/etc unless the poster discloses it. Asking to blanket censor topics w/o basis because you happen not to like them, however, is more distasteful than any other post made in this thread.

As a survivor of domestic abuse and domestic slavery, this whole thread is deeply disturbing. Not just what's being said, but how it's allowed to even exist. You all have no idea what life is like for women in these types of situations. You seem like you can't imagine the types of pressures this would put on women. We've made so much progress toward equality, this would be a huge step backward.

Domestic abuse is a serious issue and it happens frequently. Unfortunately, this is not a unique property to "group marriages". It happens with all relationship types. Singling out group relationships w/o showing some kind of substantive basis for doing so is prejudice. Presumably, if you were aware of the existence of such information you would have linked/presented it. That's still on the table if you can.

Otherwise, it's strange call some ideas bigoted and then behave identically when a concept one happens not to like comes up.

Unless you dramatically change our society writ large, if you legalize this practice, you will likely see more prominent (and egregious) examples of Mormon-style polygamy pop up. That's because as a society that's where we're kind of at, even if there are pockets of totally liberated people mixed in.

Again, very similar rationale was presented to outlaw homosexual relationships, right down to how it would impact society + how society would react.

Other than it being in line with your fantasies, is there any reason the rest of us should "face this" as if it were a given fact?

Mathematics dictate that it won't be a fact, unless there's some kind of major war or similar to lower male population. Though one might reasonably anticipate a larger fraction of men who women won't date at all (favoring poly relationships) and predict for some consequences of that. The extent this would happen isn't obvious though, and there would also be 1 woman + multiple men situations.
 
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My first wife wanted a marriage that is now so far out of fashion that she would hardly ever admit to having wanted it in the first place. It would be very easy in the current environment to characterize such a marriage as "breeder wife." If she had gotten what she wanted it would not have in any way involved abuse, because it would have been her getting what she wanted. We are friends, and we laugh about it all the time...usually in terms of "if you ever tell anyone that's what I was looking for at twenty I will deny it to my dying breath, which will come a long time after your dying breath, because that will happen immediately."

The funny thing about exes. She and I both have no real choice but to acknowledge that we are each other's oldest friends and know each other better than anyone else in the world knows us.

I knew women like this in the 90s. They wanted kids ASAP and lots if them.

Most of them ended up on welfare or broken families at best.
 
nobody has offered a reason that holds up at all better than "Muslims suck"
:wavey:
Again, very similar rationale was presented to outlaw homosexual relationships, right down to how it would impact society + how society would react.

Unfortunately, this is not a unique property to "group marriages"
Did you miss the last couple of pages where I discussed this at length or? I see an awful lot of rehashing of things I've already addressed without anything new. Hell you weren't even the first to call me prejudiced but at least you properly @ me when you did it! (@rah)
 
I see low income families on welfare and getting ecumenical food/clothing assistance that are wonderful families. "They'll end up on welfare" or "Ill have to pay for their medical bills" is a pretty tried and true line for controlling people over their self-volition with the justification line of for-their-own-good. Which is of course a lie, it's a negative freedom argument against the benefit twisted into an offensive social weapon.
 
I knew women like this in the 90s. They wanted kids ASAP and lots if them.

Most of them ended up on welfare or broken families at best.

In the late seventies and early eighties the vast majority of women I dated would have looked at that description and said " hi mom." It was a lot harder to look at it as a "how in the world could you think you wanted that" sort of thing back then. I was one of a handful of kids in my social circle in high school whose mom worked, and my mom openly said that she worked "for the hell of it" and not to contribute in any way to the household.
 
My first wife wanted a marriage that is now so far out of fashion that she would hardly ever admit to having wanted it in the first place. It would be very easy in the current environment to characterize such a marriage as "breeder wife." If she had gotten what she wanted it would not have in any way involved abuse, because it would have been her getting what she wanted. We are friends, and we laugh about it all the time...usually in terms of "if you ever tell anyone that's what I was looking for at twenty I will deny it to my dying breath, which will come a long time after your dying breath, because that will happen immediately."

The funny thing about exes. She and I both have no real choice but to acknowledge that we are each other's oldest friends and know each other better than anyone else in the world knows us.

My perspective is admittedly a bit unusual, but it's my sense that most people are more content with relationships that are not "50-50 perfect equality" than they would acknowledge publicly, with friends, with their spouse, or even with themselves. I don't for a second condone a social expectation that men rule the home and that women be the submissive half of the relationship. But I strongly advocate that people figure out how they want their relationship to work, and embrace their roles - even if (especially if) it is contrary to social norms. Males in general feeling that they are expected to run the place when the female is better by temperament and preference to do so is one of the saddest things around.
 
My perspective is admittedly a bit unusual, but it's my sense that most people are more content with relationships that are not "50-50 perfect equality" than they would acknowledge publicly, with friends, with their spouse, or even with themselves. I don't for a second condone a social expectation that men rule the home and that women be the submissive half of the relationship.
I think you are right on this. Unfortunately, that you don't condone it doesn't mean it isn't a pervasive feature of our society at this moment. Hopefully that will change. I think it is changing even!
 
My perspective is admittedly a bit unusual, but it's my sense that most people are more content with relationships that are not "50-50 perfect equality" than they would acknowledge publicly, with friends, with their spouse, or even with themselves. I don't for a second condone a social expectation that men rule the home and that women be the submissive half of the relationship. But I strongly advocate that people figure out how they want their relationship to work, and embrace their roles - even if (especially if) it is contrary to social norms. Males in general feeling that they are expected to run the place when the female is better by temperament and preference to do so is one of the saddest things around.

My wife hates dealing with people so I get to do all the negotiating on big ticket items. Car, house, tradesmen I do that plus get to clean up pet mess.

I do most of the housework she does mist if the laundry. I prepare and cook meat she does the salad.

She doesn't like how I hang up washing. My technique is it's on the line it will dry eventually.
 
:wavey:



Did you miss the last couple of pages where I discussed this at length or? I see an awful lot of rehashing of things I've already addressed without anything new. Hell you weren't even the first to call me prejudiced but at least you properly @ me when you did it! (@rah)

From what I can gather, your primary concern is that lots of women will consistently go towards a small % of men. What I find interesting in this discussion is that you and Mary imply that this option should not be available to women; that it's an abusive power dynamic.

One could easily counter-claim the opposite. That right now we are explicitly banning this option to women and in doing so forcing them to accept either being alone or being with someone they'd have otherwise not chosen. That is a necessary implication of your stance. At a fundamental level, telling people they can't do something is not the default, it's a restriction created and upheld by society. The same society that's often criticized for being patriarchal/unfair to women. Yet with group marriages allowed, nothing would force women to choice this over single marriages...in fact the increased availability of the latter suggests that they would be capable of picking as desired more frequently rather than less. It's worth reflecting on why this is undesirable.

I don't know for a fact whether you're right or wrong about the extent of it happening. If we assumed men/women can be treated equally that outcome wouldn't happen, but in practice I suspect it would to at least some extent. Yet I don't see a particular justice in denying consenting adults the ability to do this if they want. I also don't think "increased risk of grooming" is credible, since there are and would remain laws against that and presumably if society actually cares enough (I hope so) it would enforce them.
 
Moderator Action: Very much closed for review.
 
Moderator Action: I am now reopening the thread. Please reel back the intensity of the arguments and remember that CFC is not the place to discuss incest, bestiality or paedophilia, except in the most general and passing of terms. Thank you.
 
From what I can gather, your primary concern is that lots of women will consistently go towards a small % of men

It's really not. I've posted quite a bit though and laid out my basic premise and a ton of tangential arguments. I know you've written a lot at me that I'm skipping over, but that's because I feel I've already addressed many of the exact points you've brought up and I don't feel like playing a fresh round of quote wars.
This was my opening post and a lot followed from that:
People dismiss claims that the country wasn't ready for gay marriage as if the country was always ready for gay marriage. Until the 90's, it would have been a notion that only got derision or laughed out of the room. Being gay itself was criminalized in many states into the 80's and in some places that were willing to flaunt SCOTUS decisions, it went right on being illegal until fairly recently. Even today, the LGBTQ community is systematically oppressed and the GOP is campaigning on rolling back civil liberty gains. We have come to a place socially where we can handle gay marriage and I'm glad it happened even if that didn't solve all the other discrimination issues.

With that in mind, I do not believe our society is ready for poly marriages. Patriarchal power structures are still entrenched in our society and I think the outcome of legalized poly marriage will be a some very odious, extremely one-sided marriages. The US would also become a mecca for Saudi Princes and their polygamous families even more than it is, but I doubt that itself will happen in enough numbers to be a big issue. The bigger problem will be Mormons and ordinary folk who get into group marriages dominated by a manipulative and probably abusive (physical, emotional, sexual, whatever) men.

These problematic marriages probably won't be the way the majority of poly marriages work out. I am sure most of them won't be abusive and there will probably be a less severe gender imbalance in most group marriages. The problematic ones, however, will be numerous enough and disruptive enough that people would protest and fight for a repeal. It would also polarize the religious (non-Mormon) right against it and become the next biggest plank in their social agenda next to banning abortion.

And I could be 100% wrong about all that, but the perception that this would be the outcome is probably what the majority of people believe if you put it to a vote. So the country isn't ready.

And keep in mind that we've gone on a lot of tangents but the point remains that your summary of my position as "a few chads will attract all the staceys" is wrong.
 
I feel like Joe Rogan dunked on him pretty hard in that debate and he may have given me some of my points here too. But I don't really remember the details.
 
the cherry on top was Peterson had been complaining about the welfare state leveling the playing field when Rogan pointed out his position on monogamy was trying to level the playing field too

but to Peterson's credit he realized Rogan nailed him and didn't really try to weasel out of it
 
Frankly, this is disgusting. Notice how there are no women participating in this "discussion?" I'm assuming not. This thread is just oozing with male privilege.

As a survivor of domestic abuse and domestic slavery, this whole thread is deeply disturbing. Not just what's being said, but how it's allowed to even exist. You all have no idea what life is like for women in these types of situations. You seem like you can't imagine the types of pressures this would put on women. We've made so much progress toward equality, this would a huge step backward
What are "these types of relationships"? It seems to me the thread is about poly relationships in general. Are you saying that everything outside traditional FM would have women at some kind of disadvantage? FFM, FMM, FMMF and every other configuration would always be worse than FM? Why? I am having trouble following that line of thought.
 
What are "these types of relationships"? It seems to me the thread is about poly relationships in general. Are you saying that everything outside traditional FM would have women at some kind of disadvantage? FFM, FMM, FMMF and every other configuration would always be worse than FM? Why? I am having trouble following that line of thought.

Mary's basically right here.

At best it enables certain groups that the man can take multiple wives but the women can't take multiple husband's regardless if what the law says.

It also enables abuse say rich man has multiple wives. One decided to leave and instead of getting half or whatever she gets a % assuming assets haven't been hidden in another wives name.

It will disproportionately impact women.

You can already live in such relationships there's just no legal recognition. It's a bad idea from pragmatic and economic reasons let alone moral ones.
 
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