Random Rants ΠΑ: That's a paddlin'

[Lexicus]

And don't forget the nerds that have carried the same condom in their wallet hoping for over a decade.

"The expiration date on that condom is four years ago!"

 

[rah]

I've been married for over 30 years so that one was thrown out a long long time ago.

 

[Farm Boy]

What is a "seal grease dodo hide premium prophylactic" even anyways?

>.>
<.<
>.>

 

[MaryKB]

If I was hoping to drop a bunch of Molly and have massages with guy friends or something, having a condom would be less bad than not having one. Lots of causal sex is people who know each other, not the magic Disney sparkly stranger. I think causal sex hurts people on the whole. But if you know you'd be willing to have sex with somebody you're going out on the town with, a condom as contingency plan is more respect than plan b or the herp.

Shame the casual sex, not the good choice. Constant pressure is harassment. Carrying a rubber out of sight is not. Not not not.

Again, I'm saying specifically getting a condom for a specific person. I would say also that after a woman has rebuffed your advance, leave her alone. I would say that any continued pursuit after any kind of negative reaction is harassment.

If I were gay, the answer might well be yes.

My point is about straight men not viewing women as equals, but just all of us as potential sexual partners. Say you are homosexual, and you know your friend isn't, would you still bring a condom hoping to have sex with him?

I've been on trips with my male coworkers and friends before, and I have never once had a thought cross my mind "Hey, maybe we'll have sex!" This whole way of thinking feels entirely bizarre to me. But I can accept men are wired differently, but my issue comes when a man still has expectations from a female friend of his who has not been happy with his interest before. I find the idea of any time a woman (regardless of anything she's said or done in the past) wanting to get together for friendship reasons, being viewed as if she's opening the door for sexual advances to be both incredibly offensive and terrifying.

Please remember, 99.99% of the women you meet will have no intention of ever having sex with you. If you make a connection with someone and you both feel that same chemistry and want to explore a physical relationship, then wonderful for you! But I really wish men wouldn't have that in reverse, thinking every woman is interested in having sex by default - all I'm asking is please make sure that connection exists first before you think of her in a sexual manner.

And don't forget the nerds that have carried the same condom in their wallet hoping for over a decade.

I already made this distinction, what are you adding? I said quite clearly above that just carrying protection as part of your regular routine is fine with me. I feel it's very different though when you're not regularly doing so, and you make sure you do because you know you're meeting up with a specific woman, especially when in the past she's had negative reactions to your flirting.

 

[Synobun]

Please remember, 99.99% of the women you meet will have no intention of ever having sex with you.

Hey. Hey. Hey. I'll have you know it's actually 99.999% of women.

 

[rah]

I already made this distinction, what are you adding?

A joke.

 

[hobbsyoyo]

I came down with something last night. All of a sudden I felt so tired I couldn't get off the couch and I was shivering so badly that I was practically convulsing. When I finally peeled myself off the couch, my muscles locked up and I was stuck in this weird hunchback posture while I continued shivering uncontrollably. I slept in full pajamas with an extra comforter and sweated through all of it. I kept waking up every hour to chug water and pee and my head felt like it was in a vice. I woke up over half an hour ago and I had sweat so much last night that I'm still sopping wet.

It felt a lot like a very bad flu but it seems to have passed in the night, which is a huge relief as I'm about to start back to work tomorrow.

 

[MaryKB]

I came down with something last night. All of a sudden I felt so tired I couldn't get off the couch and I was shivering so badly that I was practically convulsing. When I finally peeled myself off the couch, my muscles locked up and I was stuck in this weird hunchback posture while I continued shivering uncontrollably. I slept in full pajamas with an extra comforter and sweated through all of it. I kept waking up every hour to chug water and pee and my head felt like it was in a vice. I woke up over half an hour ago and I had sweat so much last night that I'm still sopping wet.

It felt a lot like a very bad flu but it seems to have passed in the night, which is a huge relief as I'm about to start back to work tomorrow.

I'm really glad you're feeling better today! Oh dear, what a terrible experience for you last night I'm not at all a doctor, but some of those symptoms you described sound like possibly some kind of deficiency (especially your muscles locking up and your head like it was) Since you're off today, will you have an opportunity to go see your doctor?

I'm SO happy you're starting your new job tomorrow!

 

[Synobun]

It was a CFC deficiency. He hadn't been here since Friday!

 

[Farm Boy]

Please remember, 99.99% of the women you meet will have no intention of ever having sex with you. If you make a connection with someone and you both feel that same chemistry and want to explore a physical relationship, then wonderful for you! But I really wish men wouldn't have that in reverse, thinking every woman is interested in having sex by default - all I'm asking is please make sure that connection exists first before you think of her in a sexual manner.

<gobsmacked>

 

[hobbsyoyo]

I'm really glad you're feeling better today! Oh dear, what a terrible experience for you last night I'm not at all a doctor, but some of those symptoms you described sound like possibly some kind of deficiency (especially your muscles locking up and your head like it was) Since you're off today, will you have an opportunity to go see your doctor?

I'm SO happy you're starting your new job tomorrow!

I have a bunch of stuff to do today and I'm feeling a lot better so I'm going to skip the doctor for now. If it happens again I'll go but first I've got to find a doctor that accepts my insurance.

 

[GoodEnoughForMe]

The coolest thing in the world is that, even though I've taken and passed generic level English classes at my local university and community college, neither transferred as credits, so now at my 3rd school I'm shelling out $900 a class and $50 a textbook to take two English classes I've already taken twice, where i get to "mind map" and "use keywords" and learn grammar rules and write a persuasive essay with such ridiculous restrictions that I want to gouge my eyes out. Love spending $2000 dollars on something I've already spent thousands of dollars on and can demonstrate that I know in every way except the one that most matters; my official transcript.

 

[hobbsyoyo]

The coolest thing in the world is that, even though I've taken and passed generic level English classes at my local university and community college, neither transferred as credits, so now at my 3rd school I'm shelling out $900 a class and $50 a textbook to take two English classes I've already taken twice, where i get to "mind map" and "use keywords" and learn grammar rules and write a persuasive essay with such ridiculous restrictions that I want to gouge my eyes out. Love spending $2000 dollars on something I've already spent thousands of dollars on and can demonstrate that I know in every way except the one that most matters; my official transcript.

Dude that sucks. Colleges can be ridiculous. Did you try arguing your case with a councilor or department head or something to have the requirement waived? I've had luck in similar situations in the past.

 

[GoodEnoughForMe]

Dude that sucks. Colleges can be ridiculous. Did you try arguing your case with a councilor or department head or something to have the requirement waived? I've had luck in similar situations in the past.

Yeah, a year ago when I first transferred I tried to get them counted and talked to the head of student something-or-other. I also had a different school reject my one semester request for academic forgiveness after being hospitalized, where I provided a signed doctor's note and her unabashed support of my inability to have completed the semester, so I'm pretty convinced nobody anywhere cares except about getting money.

 

[aimeeandbeatles]

Rant: I told my mother I was working on something today and not to interrupt me. So she suddenly decides she needs me to help her with an errand she's fully capable of doing by herself, tried to guilt me into coming, and then threw a tantrum when I said no.

 

[The_J]

This exactly. I met a male coworker/friend in Friday for lunch. If I found out he'd specifically brought a condom "just in case" ... holy crap.

If a lunch with a coworker would regularly lead to sex, I would definitely bring a condom.
But it doesn't.
Going on holidays with friends/colleagues, and hanging out a lot, yeah, that often leads to sex.

Too often when J talks about women in his posts, he seems to do so only in a context of things he can have sex with. Super creepy.

Well that, and seemingly 80% of his posts in Random Rants are "I wanted to have sex with a girl and I didn't and now I'm sad," while 80% of his posts in Random Raves are "things are seemingly going well with a girl and we might have sex and now I'm happy"

Which are perfectly reasonable feelings to have, but like, it's a little weird when that's seemingly all you ever think about, or at least, all you ever talk about.

And further, this attitude is just extremely degrading to women, like we can't be friends with you without you always looking for an opportunity to have sex.

Because I only write here about this, this also means I only think about women in connection to sex?
It might be that I don't write everything down here what I experience in my daily life.
Please consider that you nearly know nothing about me, the situations I describe, the people I hang out with, and many more things, before making wild guesses and unqualified judgements.

On line many folks say things they would not ordinarily express openly elsewhere. Such talk can be careless because they feel safe. Folks do dwell on subjects that can draw raised eyebrows. If I were talking notes, he is not alone in expressing less desirable traits. J is being criticized for what may be a not so acceptable attitude towards women. I hope such talk stays constructive.

Well, thanks, but I don't see that I have ever expressed an unacceptable attitude.
The last thing I said was that I was unhappy that a conversation suddenly stoped .

But I feel there's a difference, when you make plans to meet with your female friend and you go out of your way to make sure you have a condom for your rendezvous, especially when she's had negative reactions to your pickup attempts before. I feel that's close to sexual harassment, if not outright, because you're planning on having sex with a specific person who doesn't want to with you.

You have no idea about the atmosphere and the connection we have, you have no idea how this whole thing went,and yet you still judge.
Please don't.

 

[Farm Boy]

Every time you think a woman might return sexual interest in your gross ejaculative body, a dinosaur gets flayed in hell.

Seriously though, just take care and try not to hurt anyone including yourself. I'm assuming you do, it's just a congenial reminder. I remember one of my oldest friends, more experienced in dating, talking about a new relationship. His reminder, kindly, was "don't break her heart or anything." Was perhaps a little melodramatic, but he was always better in tune at reading how people felt.

 

[The_J]

Yes, for sure.
I don't want to cause any emotional problems, and I don't want to freak her out either.
Everyone is just a human, with feelings, and you need to take that into account every time.

 

[MaryKB]

I don't feel it matters what you "don't post" ... you provide enough consistency in your sample size here to give a general impression. You know very well that we can only form an opinion of someone by what side of them we're exposed to, and when your actions and words follow a pattern, then that's how I'm going to think of you. It's not my fault for viewing you as being predatory to women when pretty much every time you talk about a woman on here it's in a sexualized way.

No of course I haven't witnessed your relationship with that woman, but I did read what you wrote ... you said you were surprised that she wasn't as hostile to your flirting as she normally is, and you took this as a sign that she's now open to sleeping with you. Maybe you don't realize how you sound? The idea many men seem to have about how "You can get a woman by wearing down her defenses until she finally gives in" is sickening.

I remember you were also one of the supporters in that awful "Game" thread. So no, I'm not going to give you the benefit of the doubt when you talk about women this way, and I'm not required to do so. Too many women have suffered for too long because we've let men get away with that.

I will make a deal with you though, I won't hold such an opinion of you if you stop posting about your sexual expectations and disappointments? You say you're really a different person and you respect women, can you actually demonstrate this to us?

Or do you really not at all care how your behavior makes women feel?

 

[Farm Boy]

Sharing your disappointments is shameful and hurtful J, like your desires. You could do with a shut the hell up.

Really?