Random Rants #63: These Rants Don't Run

[Takhisis]

The_J, if you'll complain about women liking shopping and make-up then you'd better build your own. It might replicate the behaviour anyway, the organic versions tend to do that anyway.

 

[jackelgull]

I am up at one am at night with a blood sugar of 38

 

[Hygro]

I am up at one am at night with a blood alcohol of 0.02

 

[gay_Aleks]

I am up at 1 AM with a heart rate of...ah, well, it's all right.

 

[Phrossack]

Great-uncle died last night, and I never got to say goodbye. He was right to fear surgery at this age. Now my great-aunt's living alone for almost the first time in her life and she's 91.

 

[Snerk]

Sorry to hear that.

 

[The_J]

Condolescence .

The_J, if you'll complain about women liking shopping and make-up then you'd better build your own. It might replicate the behaviour anyway, the organic versions tend to do that anyway.

It's not about that (well...a bit). It's about being smart.
It's a dating website. I want to attract women. I'll not put on my profile that I like sex and pr0n, although it's common sense and obvious. If you're a woman, I don't expect you to put down shopping and makeup, although also obvious (well...rather, not 100%, I know). If I want to attract someone of the opposite sex, then put down something interesting. If you don't...then you're stupid.
(and yeah, there are actually some who are interesting...like 5, or so, in this whole country...meh)

 

[Kennigit]

I forgot how awful applying to jobs are

Applied for some recent postings, am excited to hear back.....

But then i remembered 99% of jobs probably have like 100 applicants and there is a >95% chance the company will just never update any info (job filled? Not selected? Anything?)

the ones that might get back probably will get back in like 2 months and ask "how about a phone interview tomorrow? K thnx bye"

I can't plan my life around maybe having a phone interview months away. When i was in school that was OK because, well, i knew I'd still be at school

 

[Antilogic]

Great-uncle died last night, and I never got to say goodbye. He was right to fear surgery at this age. Now my great-aunt's living alone for almost the first time in her life and she's 91.

Sorry to hear that. I also have a near-blind relative who went through a similar situation a couple years back, and it's been really tough for him. Best wishes to your great-aunt.

 

[Bootstoots]

So my car started having problems about a week ago. A variety of warning lights started coming on, and the windshield wipers stopped working. Finally the brakes failed, which I found out about when I tried to back it up and found that it still backed up with my foot on the brake. I had it towed to a dealership this morning.

A couple of hours later, I got a call. Turns out that mice had gotten in and [copulated] up the electrical system, with extensive damage throughout the wiring. They also literally copulated, making a nice nest full of baby mice to keep the damage going into the next generation.

I used to feel bad for mice when I worked in a bio lab. Now I think we weren't cruel enough.

Fun fact I learned there: did you know that severed mouse heads can still bite for roughly 15 seconds after you decapitate them? Apparently they don't like getting decapitated and still being alive for long enough for the technician to begin cutting into the head to remove the brain.

The car's totaled. The electrical system was essentially totally destroyed, and it would cost far more to replace all the wiring and harnesses for it than the car is worth. I concede defeat for this battle, but watch out mice. I will have my revenge.

Indeed, all we did was decapitate you. I'm thinking I should get back into biology to do pain studies, or maybe disease studies involving hemorrhagic fevers. After all, any prospective Ebola vaccines aren't going to test themselves. Alternately, maybe we could try some sort of endurance test where we see how long you will keep swimming until you give up and sink. Ideally, then we save you so you have to do it all over again. Or maybe we revive you and put you straight into anything that involves electric shocks as punishment, while you are still wet. See if the wetness and the near-drowning has any effect on your compliance. Or we could expose you to a variety of predator stimuli, like cats and snakes, both the animals themselves (separated by a barrier) and their smells, to see how you react to being under 24/7 predator stress. Does it shorten your lifespan? Also, there are toxicity studies. Like if we give you curare, which paralyzes your muscles including the diaphragm but leaves you fully conscious, and then give you adorable little mouse ventilators, will you survive? If so, can we do this every day of your miserable little lives until you expire. Will it shorten your lives, or will you survive to your full lifespan of 2-3 years of daily curare treatment? And then there are always burn studies - we need to test skin grafts, you know. So we systematically burn about 50% of your skin area, and then keep you alive using all means at our disposal. After you have been roughly stabilized, a variety of grafts can be tried.

I want to go full Mengele on your asses. And I could, with or without any institutional support.

 

[JohannaK]

Jesus Christ, that's sickening.

 

[Commodore]

The car's totaled. The electrical system was essentially totally destroyed, and it would cost far more to replace all the wiring and harnesses for it than the car is worth. I concede defeat for this battle, but watch out mice. I will have my revenge.

Indeed, all we did was decapitate you. I'm thinking I should get back into biology to do pain studies, or maybe disease studies involving hemorrhagic fevers. After all, any prospective Ebola vaccines aren't going to test themselves. Alternately, maybe we could try some sort of endurance test where we see how long you will keep swimming until you give up and sink. Ideally, then we save you so you have to do it all over again. Or maybe we revive you and put you straight into anything that involves electric shocks as punishment, while you are still wet. See if the wetness and the near-drowning has any effect on your compliance. Or we could expose you to a variety of predator stimuli, like cats and snakes, both the animals themselves (separated by a barrier) and their smells, to see how you react to being under 24/7 predator stress. Does it shorten your lifespan? Also, there are toxicity studies. Like if we give you curare, which paralyzes your muscles including the diaphragm but leaves you fully conscious, and then give you adorable little mouse ventilators, will you survive? If so, can we do this every day of your miserable little lives until you expire. Will it shorten your lives, or will you survive to your full lifespan of 2-3 years of daily curare treatment? And then there are always burn studies - we need to test skin grafts, you know. So we systematically burn about 50% of your skin area, and then keep you alive using all means at our disposal. After you have been roughly stabilized, a variety of grafts can be tried.

I want to go full Mengele on your asses. And I could, with or without any institutional support.

Now THIS is a rant. Everyone else take freakin' notes on this. This is how a rant is supposed to be done.

Props Bootstoots. You have thoroughly impressed me.

EDIT: Hell, I might even make a YouTube video about this rant.

 

[Takhisis]

Jesus Christ, that's sickening.

Yeah, battery acid can get everywhere.

 

[Lohrenswald]

I'm starting to think things will never be okay

If there actually is anything good in the world, I don't think I'll ever get it

and I don't think I deserve it in any case

 

[jackelgull]

I'm starting to think things will never be okay

If there actually is anything good in the world, I don't think I'll ever get it

and I don't think I deserve it in any case

Why not?

 

[Lohrenswald]

I am a terrible person with no skill, talent or insight
everything I have ever done has made the world a worse place
I can't even make people happy
And worst of all I'm wondering if I don't even want to

My entire life is a waste, and it always will be

 

[Antilogic]

The car's totaled. The electrical system was essentially totally destroyed, and it would cost far more to replace all the wiring and harnesses for it than the car is worth. I concede defeat for this battle, but watch out mice. I will have my revenge.

Indeed, all we did was decapitate you. I'm thinking I should get back into biology to do pain studies, or maybe disease studies involving hemorrhagic fevers. After all, any prospective Ebola vaccines aren't going to test themselves. Alternately, maybe we could try some sort of endurance test where we see how long you will keep swimming until you give up and sink. Ideally, then we save you so you have to do it all over again. Or maybe we revive you and put you straight into anything that involves electric shocks as punishment, while you are still wet. See if the wetness and the near-drowning has any effect on your compliance. Or we could expose you to a variety of predator stimuli, like cats and snakes, both the animals themselves (separated by a barrier) and their smells, to see how you react to being under 24/7 predator stress. Does it shorten your lifespan? Also, there are toxicity studies. Like if we give you curare, which paralyzes your muscles including the diaphragm but leaves you fully conscious, and then give you adorable little mouse ventilators, will you survive? If so, can we do this every day of your miserable little lives until you expire. Will it shorten your lives, or will you survive to your full lifespan of 2-3 years of daily curare treatment? And then there are always burn studies - we need to test skin grafts, you know. So we systematically burn about 50% of your skin area, and then keep you alive using all means at our disposal. After you have been roughly stabilized, a variety of grafts can be tried.

I want to go full Mengele on your asses. And I could, with or without any institutional support.

 

[choxorn]

I'm starting to think things will never be okay

If there actually is anything good in the world, I don't think I'll ever get it

and I don't think I deserve it in any case

I am a terrible person with no skill, talent or insight
everything I have ever done has made the world a worse place
I can't even make people happy
And worst of all I'm wondering if I don't even want to

My entire life is a waste, and it always will be

 

[Hygro]

It's not about that (well...a bit). It's about being smart.
It's a dating website. I want to attract women. I'll not put on my profile that I like sex and pr0n, although it's common sense and obvious. If you're a woman, I don't expect you to put down shopping and makeup, although also obvious (well...rather, not 100%, I know). If I want to attract someone of the opposite sex, then put down something interesting. If you don't...then you're stupid.
(and yeah, there are actually some who are interesting...like 5, or so, in this whole country...meh)

I call bullsh.

 

[azzaman333]

That awkward moment when you see someone you think you knew at one point in your life and you want to confirm it's them but you don't want to actually have to talk to them so you're stuck with trying to figure out if it's them while avoiding drawing suspicion or even worse making eye contact and being socially obligated to acknowledge them. Even better when you're on the train for the next 45minutes.