Hygro
soundcloud.com/hygro/
If a person's motivated by avoiding vulnerability and worried about disrupting the feelings of others more than they are motivated by what can be gained by being vulnerable and willing to assert themselves, then they probably aren't going to risk being vulnerable enough with themselves and disrupting their own feelings in the pursuit of growth.
In my first three-four years of college the denominator of my friend groups was: are you down to talk to girls and get better at it? Do you value self improvement? etc. So if a dude got something about women better than the rest of us, we were eager to both defer and receive. And if a dude didn't get something about women we were eager to help the guy out.
It meant if one of my older friends who scored more hawt baebz said "[Hygro] read this it will change your life" I wouldn't resist it. What kind of insanity would that be? I want moar hawt baebz, he is better with hawt baebz, he is showing me the way, so of course I just do it.
Later in life I started making friends under different circumstances, like shared academic or artistic interests. Because I vibe with people on an energetic level in my mind I expected it to be the same. Yeah, more nerds meant dudes who couldn't talk to girls but the explorative minds and passion for life just made me think that it would be easy to catch a brother up to speed.
I started finding mad resistance to change, which at first I thought was the particularities of a few selecting guys.
Starting seeing it in other areas of life with other people: you'd learn something, so naturally you'd share it and unless that person was already actively growing in that field, your attempts to help a brother or sister would result in hostility, avoidance, disregard, etc. It's really weird because it will be something I've vetted and considered, and considered specifically for that person, and know more about that thing than they do, and know it connects what they say they want with where they presently are. And it's still rejected.
"Bruh, this will change your life"
"Evasive speech saying maybe"
"No really this is all you need to learn, here's a metaphor"
"I will turn your metaphor against you and use emoticons that show emotional entrenchment"
or
"everything in my life sucks"
"Bruh, trying choosing things differently"
"I choose to believe that I have no power to choose things so that everything in my life will stay the same"
I have been trying in my own life to recognize areas I disregard things I don't already have a handle on (I'm sure there's lots!) but basically if someone gives me unsolicited advice and that person has more authority on the subject than I do I always at least consider it strongly and appreciate they cared rather than see it as a threat to my identity. It's been really a challenge as a person to accept that others don't and I guess I gotta remind myself that
some people just want their goddam yam gruel.
In my first three-four years of college the denominator of my friend groups was: are you down to talk to girls and get better at it? Do you value self improvement? etc. So if a dude got something about women better than the rest of us, we were eager to both defer and receive. And if a dude didn't get something about women we were eager to help the guy out.
It meant if one of my older friends who scored more hawt baebz said "[Hygro] read this it will change your life" I wouldn't resist it. What kind of insanity would that be? I want moar hawt baebz, he is better with hawt baebz, he is showing me the way, so of course I just do it.
Later in life I started making friends under different circumstances, like shared academic or artistic interests. Because I vibe with people on an energetic level in my mind I expected it to be the same. Yeah, more nerds meant dudes who couldn't talk to girls but the explorative minds and passion for life just made me think that it would be easy to catch a brother up to speed.
I started finding mad resistance to change, which at first I thought was the particularities of a few selecting guys.
Starting seeing it in other areas of life with other people: you'd learn something, so naturally you'd share it and unless that person was already actively growing in that field, your attempts to help a brother or sister would result in hostility, avoidance, disregard, etc. It's really weird because it will be something I've vetted and considered, and considered specifically for that person, and know more about that thing than they do, and know it connects what they say they want with where they presently are. And it's still rejected.
"Bruh, this will change your life"
"Evasive speech saying maybe"
"No really this is all you need to learn, here's a metaphor"
"I will turn your metaphor against you and use emoticons that show emotional entrenchment"
or
"everything in my life sucks"
"Bruh, trying choosing things differently"
"I choose to believe that I have no power to choose things so that everything in my life will stay the same"
I have been trying in my own life to recognize areas I disregard things I don't already have a handle on (I'm sure there's lots!) but basically if someone gives me unsolicited advice and that person has more authority on the subject than I do I always at least consider it strongly and appreciate they cared rather than see it as a threat to my identity. It's been really a challenge as a person to accept that others don't and I guess I gotta remind myself that
some people just want their goddam yam gruel.
